Remember, that just because you can't get something out of somebody, that doesn't mean that they don't have value to you. You might be surprised, but there are probably people who are friends with you who don't get that much value from your presence, but find you to be a nice person with good intentions and enjoy your company despite of what you have or who you are.

This is important, because the way that you view others will have a strong bearing on how you view yourself. If you think the worst of other people, those same thoughts will be projected onto yourself for thinking them. I know that this sounds weird, and it sounded weird to me too when I first heard it. It was something that I learnt accidentally. And it is now something that I believe to be the truth, despite that I didn't initially.

Was cleaning my comp yesterday and then I found this. I think I did this one a couple of years ago and it was an email.

1. What time is it: 3:30 AM GMT +8:00

2. Name as it appears on your birth certificate: noodlez (for security reasons; me don’t put me real name on the web)

3. Parents names: The only name you need to know is mine

4. Number of candles that appeared on your last cake: 2 big 2 small

5. The date that you regularly blow them out: blow what? Ohh… you mean the candles is it? I thought you meant something else, you should have made the question clearer. 9 Dec btw.

6. Hair color: Last month: grey, last week: copper red, yesterday: purple, today: washed out brown. Going for tri-color blonde soon (if i have the money that is)

7. Piercing: Does sticking my finger up my nose consider "piercing"?

8. How much do you love your job on a scale of 1 to 10: loving every minutes of it, but since the question insist on me to be giving a number, well .. I'll give it a 9

9. Favorite color: used to like blue but since there's a band who call themselves Blue and I hate them, I've change to White, Deep Dark Blue and Black

10. Hometown: Chinatown

11. Current Residence: Downtown

12. Favorite food: Woman In Chocolate. Ahhhhhhhh……… bliss

13. Been to Africa: Never really been my kinda place, nope

14. Been toilet papering: Not as long as I can remember, no. Do you know that we actually have something call water?

15. Loved somebody so much it made you cry: when I love somebody so much, I hug them, I kiss them, I appreciate and admire them (up-close and personal)… never thought of crying thou. People these days are getting weird.

16. Been in a car accident: car accident: nope, road accident: a lot. And does accidentally clipping my nails off the door count as a “car accident”?

17. Croutons or bacon bits: no "char siu" ar ?

18. Sprite or 7 UP: Sprite, coz they got better looking cans. Coke's still the best, Caffeine is what the world needs.

19. Favorite Movie: The Shawshank Redemption

20. Favorite Holiday: Can’t think of any. But I think I'll give it to CNY

21. Favorite day of the week: Saturday

22. Favorite Toothpaste: Kodomo Lion

23. Favorite Restaurant: Yusoff, u couldn't argue more with that (a restaurant near my college)

24. Favorite Flowers: Tulip

25. Favorite Alcoholic Drink: I live a healthy life, I don’t drink. Alcohol is bad, just look at any drunk man/woman, you'll know what I mean. It brings out the stupidity inside, which is good sometimes especially when you are the one watching it *chuckle* Siberian Sunrise is good.

26. Football Team: Liverpool

27. Preferred type of ice cream: Serve me ice-cream on a woman, and I'll take whatever type of ice cream there is to offer.

28. Favorite Sesame Street Character: Hate sesame streets, the only show that kids should watch is Beavis and the Butthead. And Futurama

29. Disney or Warner Bros.: which company produces more pornography?

30. Favorite Fast Food Restaurant: Burger Fried Donald.

31. Who is the last person you got email from before this: some penis enlargement company asking me whether I needed their service or not. I could sue them for insulting me, you know *laugh*

32. Have you ever been convicted of a crime: I've committed a lot of crimes but I've NEVER been convicted. Genius people like me where can get arrested one :p

33. Which single store would you choose to max out your credit card in?
Lingerie Store. You see, I’m actually a very good lover *wink*

34. What do you do most often when you are bored? I sleep, I sit, I imagine, I fantasize, I eat, I shit, I watch ... and yeah .. I reply to this kinda mails.

35. Name the person that you are friends with that is the farthest away: Do I really have to tell? .. well, I could say my neighbor, it depends on how u want to calculate the distance coz if u were to calculate it the other way round, then the person who is the closest to me would be the farthest (the world is round)

6. Most annoying thing people ask me: Do I look fat/ugly/overweight/short? get a mirror, the answer is in your eyes. (btw, no one ever ask me tat, I just made tat up)

37. Bedtime: anytime from 12AM - 12PM

38. Who will respond the quickest? The fastest person who completely answers all the questions

39. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? The person who delete the mail b4 opening it.

40 Favorite all time TV show? : Jellabies and Teletubbies, I grew up with them, both are stupid shows .. and that explains a lot about me... hehe

41. Last person you went out to dinner with: No one ever went out on dinner with me, so I couldn't give an answer for this question (sad isn’t it *sob*… and Lucy, keep your alligator tears to yourself :p)

42. Last theater Movie you saw: I believe in Bootleg, I dun go for movies

43. Time when you finished: 5.00 AM GTM +8:00 (I was watching football at this time so that explains why it took me 1 and a half hour to finish it)

The first time I hear this song, I kinda have this little fantasy. You see, I have a floating cube (only certain people can understand this ;) so I am somewhat of a daydreamer. My fantasy (I am not even sure if this is the right word to use) depicts me holding a guitar with a band and singing this song to the one that matters. But I have 3 little problems. First, I can’t play a guitar, I have guitar at home but I can’t play. Second, I can’t sing (unless I’m drunk). And third, there’s no one to sing to (sad isn’t it? *sob*)

But I really do love this song. Too bad I can’t upload the song coz my site provider would not accept mp3 files. But this is really a good song (READ THE LYRIC and I mean till the end ;). So before me find someone to sing to, me go brush up me guitar skills *laugh* Or maybe me do like Bon Jovi, leave the guitar to someone else and me just sing. Yeah, that’s sounds like a better idea ;)

[Born To Be My Baby - Bon Jovi]

Rainy night and we worked all day
We both got jobs 'cause there's bills to pay
We got something they can't take away
Our love, our lives

Close the door, leave the cold outside
I don't need nothing when I'm by your side
We got something that'll never die
Our dreams, our pride

My heart beats like a drum (all night)
Flesh to flesh, one to one (and it's alright)
And I'll never let go cause
There's something I know deep inside

You were born to be my baby
And baby, I was made to be your man

We got something to believe in
Even if we don't know where we stand
Only God would know the reasons
But I bet he must have had a plan
Cause you were born to be my baby
And baby, I was made to be your man

Light a candle, blow the world away
Table for two on a TV tray
It ain't fancy, baby that's OK
Our time, our way

So hold me close better hang on tight
Buckle up, baby, it's a bumpy ride
We're two kids hitching down the road of life
Our world, our fight

If we stand side by side (all night)
There's a chance we'll get by (and it's alright)
And I'll know that you'll be live
In my heart till the day that I die

Cause you were born to be my baby
And baby, I was made to be your man

We got something to believe in
Even if we don't know where we stand
Only God would know the reasons
But I bet he must have had a plan
Cause you were born to be my baby
And baby, I was made to be your man

Saw this article on the papers the other day. It’s about animals’ traits and men/women. I’m not sure about the others but I am definitely a dog (A good dog I mean ;)

Animals’ traits – the article

And the fact that it says that dogs don’t bear grudges makes it even more real. I actually lost the ability to get mad at anyone. Some people still annoy me now and then but I can’t get mad at people for long no matter what they do (although there’s an exception to this). I forget things very fast, bad things I mean.

Even if people stood me up, lie to me, cheated on me, say bad things about me, I just can’t find it in me to take revenge or get mad or anything. I am not saying I am a saint, but I just don’t see the point of blaming that person for doing what he/she does. And the truth is I’m kinda glad that they did what they did. It makes me a better person. And you learn a lot from people like this, trust me :)

A friend told me that if someone lied to you, you should blame yourself and not the person who told the lie. I agree with that and it should too be applied in everything else. If someone cheated on you, blame yourself, if someone took you for a ride, blame yourself. There are no victims in all this, only willing participants (read: suckers).

But on the other hand, don’t be too hard on yourself. I know there are people who blame themselves for everything bad that happened. The point here is not self-pity. The point here is that things happened to you because you “allow” it to happen. You “allow” it to happen because you weren’t smart enough in spotting it before it is too late. So there’s a lesson to be learn in every letdown. If you are too consumed in getting even or being mad and sad, you’ll never learn.

Christina Aguilera says it best with her song, Fighter (below are just the bits and pieces of the song)

[After all you put me through you'd think I despise you but in the end, I wanna thank you ‘cause you make me that much stronger]

[You probably think that I hold resentment for you but, oh no, you're wrong ‘cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through so I wanna say thank you]

[Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture I wouldn't know how to be this way now. And never back down so I wanna say thank you]

And btw, I hate the censorship board. Christina’s new album Stripped is the only album that I’ve yet to buy. And the reason why I didn’t get it is because they CHANGED the cover. I mean what’s wrong with her covering her boobs with only her hairs?

But anyway, be a dog and you will be happier :)

Do you know the kinda feeling where you were happy one second and then sad the very next second? It’s like when someone come up to you and tells you that you’ve won a million dollar only for them to tell you that it was actually a mistake. They bring you up and they bring you down at almost the same moment.

I finally knew who the "check girl" is and it actually turns out that she was just teasing (how sweet *grin*) One minute you were feeling lucky and the next minute you feel "unlucky". At least on the bright side, I was feeling lucky for a while. It doesn’t matter how the road ends, it’s what you get from walking that road that matters.

There’s this song by Emil Chow – Make Me Happy, Make Me Sad. Seems like a good theme song to use for now *chuckle*

An "evil" friend of mine (she’s what you might call a sissy version of Lucifer, the lord of darkness :p) told me that [the people we meet everyday is unique. We meet them to serve a certain purpose(s) in our lifetime, and a handful of them shape our worlds differently from others. They have impacted our lives - for the better. Without them, we will never really "grow up". This is what you call life's journey - one that will bring you different perspective of life, of how to live your life, and attainment of wisdom]

And there’s one thing I like about this evil friend of mine. She’s pretty darn good in giving advices. She actually summarizes my entire "expectations list" into one sentence - "I want a girl who rocks my world". That sentence may seem general, but truth is, that is exactly what I want. All the expectations that I listed actually leads to one thing, I want a girl who rocks my world. But instead of looking for a girl who can rock my world, I was looking for a "blue eyes-long hair-not taller than me-bubbly-witty-etc" girl. So in other word, this evil girl is actually an angel to me (*hehe* now before you drop your "Oh... I’m so touched" tears, you know me calling you an angel is actually an insult, right? :p)

It’s just too bad that she doesn’t really fancy Sagittarians. And it’s actually true; most Sagittarians are quite a handful… hehe. She really does complement me in a way. It’s not easy finding someone who can see thru all your shits and point you up to the better path. Hopefully there’s another one out there :) [now miss evil, before you freak out, there's no underlying message here. I just couldn't find a more innocent way to put this whole thing. It's just an innocent compliment from me *grin*]

And she did tell me once that happiness is from within. And I believe so because I’ve been telling others that you shouldn’t put your happiness onto others hands. Basically, it’s the same principle but different ways of putting it. She did go on and say that even if you are alone, you can still be happy. Yes, very true but I don’t settle for "solo happiness", I prefer to have "shared happiness". Being able to make myself happy is a blessing but being able to make someone else happy is magical.

So now the "check girl" has checked out on me, perhaps I should go now and drown myself in a carton of HL Milk ;)

*Sigh*… Guess now I’ll just have to wait for another girl to "check in" ;)

P/S: Thanks for all the comments. I would have hoped that this all could last a little longer and end with a "better" ending. Maybe a carton of HL Milk won’t be so bad after all; at least I am as fair as "taufu fah" because of it :).

Story has been dramatized for good measures :)

After I posted my previous post “expectations” someone actually “checked” on each and every one of my conscious and sub-conscious list. And interestingly, that person actually scores quite well (I’m feeling lucky today *laugh*). And I am actually very curious who that person is. I mean, she (I hope it’s a she… hehe) went thru all the troubles to “check” everything but she didn’t leave a name or anything. At least Cinderella did leave a shoe behind for the guy but I got nothing.

Or was she just teasing me? Telling me that she exists but I can’t have her. Now that would be really mean and cruel, don’t you think? :p It’s like dangling a candy above a little kid who could never reach it (not until the kid grows up at least) and that's not a very nice thing to do.

Now come on, be a good sport, leave me something. Something I could go looking for. At least this would amuse me for a while *grin* And who knows, maybe it’ll end like “A Cinderella Story” (haven’t watch that yet but if the needs arise, I’ll definitely go watch *grin*)

After the boy story that I posted a few days back, a friend gave me some advices. The first advice was [make sure of every decision/action you make now is what you really want....never regret things, when the present becomes your past, and your future becomes the present] Truth is, I now no more do whatever that I do not want to. If I think I might regret doing something, then I will not do it. That explains a lot on why I’ve let so many “things” pass me by *grin*

The second one was [don’t carry excess baggage into your future relationships]. At first I don’t really understand what does she meant with “excess baggage” then there was another message that explains “excess baggage”. The second message goes something like this [excess baggage i.e. those expectations of how you'd like the next person to be. Make it simple la, don't expect the next girl(s) in your life to be somehow like "the girl"]

Now that really hit me. After reading that I realized that all this while I’ve been putting expectations unconsciously. Me not trying to brag or anything, but I’ve passed on a quite numbers of girls because “she’s not what I want”. And to be honest, I don’t even know what I want. Consciously, I don’t have any expectations on girls. I don’t go saying that I want her to be this and that. But sub-consciously, I do believe that I’ve had this “list” in the back of my head. So if she (the one who gave me the advices) hadn’t put it to me that way, I would still be screening girls in the back of my head without even knowing it consciously.

So since I’m at it, I’ve been doing some thinking on what are my “sub-conscious” expectations. This is my personal unrealistic expectations so please don’t flame me and say that I’m some chauvinistic pig. So here goes:

1. Cannot be taller than me (with heels) and not shorter than my shoulder.
2. Long hair. How long? I don’t really know but I prefer long hair more. Don’t really like straightened hair. Straightened hair looks kinda fake. Long wavy hair is nice (not curly, just a little wavy or as long it’s not straight like plastic). Short hair is nice too but not all girls can go with short hair. Unless she is Athena Chu Yan. So in general, long hair is better.
3. Knows how to hold up her hair with a pencil (and still look nice doing it). I just have this thing about girls with long hair and tying them up. Like a cute friend used to say to me “ikat tinggi tinggi” *chuckle*
4. Eyes, any color goes but like most people, I do prefer blue but since I’m in Malaysia I can’t really hope for a blue eye right? I still got to be realistic *laugh* But I do like defined eyes. It’s something like where you draw a black outline around your eyes. Black eyeliner under the eyes. Like a gothic look. Avril Lavigne usually does that.
5. Winona Ryder’s nose and the smile of Nicole Kidman. Skin complexion? I guess fair isn’t too much to ask for right?
6. Bubbly and full of life, like Kate Hudson
7. Body, well, I don’t really care much about figure. Really. There are 2 types of men in this world. One type will emphasize more on the figure and the other type will emphasize more on the face. So I’m the face guy. When I first look at a girl, I’ll go for the face first then only body. But if she has got a captivating look then the body can be overlooked.
8. No big ass. And definitely no J.Lo’s ass. Whoever thinks J.Lo’s ass is nice is crazy. Preferably she does not have wide hips. I mean when she wears tight fitting jeans, her hips doesn’t really go sideway (I really don’t know how to explain this in words) But this isn’t really that important, she can always wear something else *grin*
9. I like girls who are bubbly and cute and adorable. Pretty much like a little girl. But I don’t want a little girl *hehe… contradiction eh :p” I want a girl who often turns into a playful little girl when she’s around me.
10. A girl who knows how to build up my ego (this may sound selfish but trust me, you can hold onto a guy if you know how to do this)
11. A girl who thinks I look like Brad Pitt even when the whole town thinks I’m ugly as sin *laugh*
12. A girl who when she has a bad hair day will just tie her hair up and go out without making a fuss out of it.
13. She doesn’t nag
14. She loves dogs
15. When I say “Honey, tomorrow morning you and I are going to rob the local bank at 9 o’clock” and she’ll say “I’ll be ready”.

So basically, I don’t think I am asking for too much right? I didn’t ask for killer curves or big boobs. A friend once asked me how I look for girls; I mean what do I look for in a girl. I said I mostly go for pretty girls but that was last time and I’ve changed. Then she asked what do I look for now in a girl and I say, I now go for pretty girls with good attitude *laugh*.

But honestly to me now, pretty face is common. Looks is only skin deep but character is to the bones. I love someone playful, someone who can take jokes, irony. I believe I can hold an intellectual conversation if I want to but I don’t really fancy that. I can go on and on about men, women, government, politics, economy, sports and etc but that’s not going to give me any satisfactions or make me happy. I don’t know how to explain this but I love it when someone can just talk about something different, something really silly and ironic. I know this makes no sense but I think I now know how to find someone just like that *grin*

And then she (the advice girl) told me [expectations alone is the silent killer] which is very true. Expectation is indeed a silent killer in relationships. And she even say that [every individual is unique and i hope you know what it really means]. Truth is, I don’t really know what that means… hehe. I mean I know the obvious meaning of that sentence but I don’t understand what the underlying message is. Maybe I need another “boy story” to understand the meaning… hehe.

So now I’m going to follow her advice. No more expectations. I’ll just take anyone that got in my way. Big, small, young, old, short, tall, white, blue, green, yellow, everything. Everything goes… hehe. I know it’s impossible to have NO expectations at all. So I’ve come up with another list. And this time, it’s a consciously list.

1. Someone who LOVES calvin and hobbes. When I saw LOVES I mean REALLY REALLY LOVES calvin and hobbes. I don’t know how to explain this but I am sure that whoever loves calvin and hobbes are people who have a slightly different view on the world……… I’ve been thinking for 10 minutes on how to explain this but I can’t. The bottom line is that people who loves and understands calvin and hobbes are cool people to be with.

Yes, my consciously list only have one (actually there’s more but I like to keep it to myself :). There’s a lot of people who likes to read calvin and hobbes but not many can really [understand] calvin and hobbes :)

Comments were originally posted on the previous post, story of a boy. Wasn't actually planning on writing this one but my bontot gatal (itchy arse) so here is it *grin*

Hmmms, I guess I have to be really careful when messaging you next time.. who knows u might just end up posting my msgs on your blogsite.

I was actually planning to send you an email for this, but heck, you’ll just end up posting it here anyways, so I guess I’ll just save you the hassles and post it here instead..

Btw, this is ‘Anonymous’, nice name you got me there, next time, put something nice like Noelle, Isabelle or Joelle yahs.. Anonymous is just plain boring..

Anyways, you were so right, I did smile and laughed to myself when reading you post.. It was indeed worth the wait..

It was like a walk down the memory lane when I was reading your story.. it brought me back to the time when we were still young, naïve and care-free.. That story of yours made me realized what a selfish and ignorant bitch I was at that time *noticed the past tense ‘was’ – Im a changed person now :) .. [yeah, right]* I guess I owe you a big ‘thank you’ as well.. for being there for me all those time.. and for letting me experienced how a 5-stars Sim Tower would look like.. :p

“Girl was still a little drowsy and girl says "ohhh… if like that then I'm going to have 1 less guy going after me la". Girl was giggling while saying that (apparently girl is still a little intoxicated) and boy just smiled on the phone.” <-- Did this actually happen? Jeez, I’m really really sorry.. It must be the alchohol!! I swear it was definitely the alchohol.. :p “First date? Hmm… I guess I’d take you to Starbucks, or maybe Coffee Bean for coffee. If you can’t take coffee then it’ll be Dome” + “maybe I can buy you a cup of teh o ais limau whenever you're free. That's the least I could do to say thank you and I do owe you that *grin*” For a first date with an unknown girl, you can take her to Starbucks, Coffee Bean or Dome, and to thank a friend u have known for 5 yrs, u simply decided to buy her a cuppa teh o ais limau.. WHAT IS THIS MAN?! Damn, u really gotta repent a little here …. “For me, it's writing things out to everyone. Until the day I can find someone to talk to, writing will just have to do.” <-- if you continue to just write your blogs @ home everyday and not going out to meet more friends, you will never find the ‘someone’ u are looking for .. *smiles* That's it.. Cheerios, (for the last time)dearie *winks*

Ok la, my bad. I shouldn’t have posted your message on my blog. I’m sorry. Sigh, I just can’t seem to get rid the habit of saying sorry to you… ;p

You owe me nothing but I owe everything to you. Fate ran out on us but the black string is going to stay on my wrist for a long time. You may think that you WERE a selfish and ignorant b*tch but to me you are always that cute-little-tak-tau-malu girl that took advantage of me with your silly little hand trick *chuckle* [the one where you cross your hands and ask me to hold your palms and try to get both hands parallel] But admit it, my hands were soft right? Hehe :p

As for the Sim Tower thing, you knew I cheated on it right? I’ve got a 3 level lobby where you only got 1. You can’t really blame me for cheating, boy needed to win to get a second shot… ;)

It’s actually the alcohol that makes all the difference. Kids and drunks are the only honest people. At least I was sure that you were honest when you say that. So the moral of the story here is, if you are drunk, don’t call a boy ;p

Man, you are hard to please, just like the old days *chuckle* Ok la, ice tea with vanilla syrup at Starbucks. Better now? But I thought you like teh o ais limau… or was it limau ais? Sigh, I’m getting old.

[…and not going out to meet more friends, you will never find the ‘someone’ u are looking for…] Finding that someone is going to be hard. I mean, no one compares to you. I could find a lot of girls better than you but finding those as good as you is going to be hard… hehe :p I mean where am I suppose to find a girl that broke a ring I gave her and then went and bought another one then give it to me to wear for a week before giving her back and then broke it again (read slowly for better understanding). Technically, you still owe me at least a ring. I mean since when the bride has got 3 rings and the groom still has none? Hehe… ok, that was a bad one, ignore it :p

And how I am suppose to find a girl that will mix her chilly and pepper like a pile of crap while eating her McDonald fries? Wait, was it you or was it the pooh bear? Hmm… ok, I think I got this wrong. And where am I going to find a girl who could come up with the name “delidiazz” for my neopet? Btw, my neopet account got frozen, sakit hati only. But the bottom line here is it ain’t going to be easy finding someone like you. [Man, I am getting good at making women happy… I mean complimenting women :p]

I know you told me not to reply but I think I’m addicted to the habit of saying sorry to you so I needed to come up with a reason to say sorry. Hehe… so here goes, I’m sorry for replying although you told me not to ;p Truth is, I stop apologizing for being myself to anyone but for you, I’ll make an exception. I know you hated it when I used to keep saying sorry to you but it’s kinda fun seeing you get mad once a while. You look prettier when you get mad *wink*

Most women love to change a man, be it consciously or sub-consciously. So Anonymous (I still prefer this ;p), I’m actually a living walking compliment to you. You did manage to change at least one. It’s the biggest compliment that I could ever give you. But I guess me telling you that you look much more beautiful now would mean a lot more to you right?... I just know you too well *grin*

You told me not to reply because that would make you want to reply back. So now listen to me, DO NOT REPLY. If you do reply then I’ll have to spank you… erm, I mean delete you reply (Sorry bout the spanking part, it’s the coffee talking, honest *hehe*)

You have finished reading so PRESS ALT + F4. NOW!!!
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.....

Anonymous leng lui, I told you to press ALT + F4, so you aren’t supposed to be reading this, so now PRESS ALT + F4!

This actually came in right before I was ready to post this piece.

Holy shit! Your sob story is exactly like MY sob story...i didn't even notice that your name is Ed.....and the even stranger thing was that his name was Ed....*eery music*..but the most wierdest thing was that he sent me that "sometimes love just aint enough" song too...the band thing is cute....never known a guy to wear soo many *bands* before though...*gawkz*

You guys are cute huh...the way you guys talk to each other..maybe you guys should have another round of sim towers or maybe the sims and see whether your characters get together in the end...ehehhehe...and if they do get together then you guys can get together...it would be like a fairytale ending :D...would be a shame for you guys to just let it go like that... seems like you guys share something...or maybe I'm just too much of a romantic fool hahaha but i do hope you guys get together in the end!! good luck *crosses fingers*

Well, I don’t really go by the name ed in real life. I just use it for filling forms on the internet since both letters are neighbors on the keyboard. Yeah, me still waiting for people to give me more “bands” *grin*. Me got tired of making it these days.

I’m probably going to win if there were to be another round of Sim Tower or The Sims. I mean, put everything aside, how am I going to lose to a girl in a computer game? We are talking about my pride as a boy here… hehe :p

Like you already know, “there’s a reason why people don’t stay where they are, baby sometimes love just ain’t enough” … I think you’ve probably freaked her out with your suggestion. At least that might probably deter her from replying (and btw, why are you still reading? you wanna kena spank izzit? (it’s the coffee, really!)).

You are not a romantic fool, you are just a girl. Tell me which girl who does not fancy a real life fairytale ending like the Cinderella story or Runaway Bride or Sweet Home Alabama for themselves? Anonymous has got tons of guys going after her now, so lets not spoil that for her *grin* But I’ll let you slot in thou, fancy a run in “A Knight’s Tale”? Hehe… just kidding.

Thanks for the “good luck” and the crossed fingers. Maybe you can get ed (your ed) to read this whole thing. You could have a fairytale ending of your own. Nothing is umpossible *wink*

Leng lui anonymous, before I spank you (man, I really have to stop drinking so much coffee), you better press ALT + F4 now. Stop doing anything; don’t even breathe… just press ALT + F4. *hehe… this is stupid but at least I am smiling :p*

All comments were posted in "comment response #9"

This one was posted by Anonymous

i agree that we've got to speak different 'types' of english with different people... but the part about feeling weird speaking English to Chinese people... hrmm... I guess it would seem weird to some, but it relly is normal, you know... I mean, for some (i only say SOME) - we grew up in english-speaking households, and therefore, English IS our first-language! The other Chinese dialects (and Mandarin) are usually picked up along the way either in school, or from relatives... Don't get me wrong, i'm NOT proud of the fact that I can't speak fluently in any Chinese language, but the circumstances that i grew up in have partly contributed to me being a 'regular'. We don't CHOOSE to speak in English instead of Chinese - it merely comes more naturally to us! (English, I mean). And I do converse in Chinese with my Cina friends, who's gonna be dumb enough to rattle on in English while all the rest are blabbing away in Cantonese/Mandarin?
I guess that all I want to say is that, some of us don't make a conscious choice to speak in English instead of Chinese (and definitely not just to show-off or anything!). It just so happens that English is the best language that we are able to communicate with, and that's why we use it.

Ok, about the part of speaking Chinese to Chinese people, I do mean Chinese who can speak Chinese. If the person can’t speak Chinese (ABC, banana) at all, then it’s an exception. I have friends who can’t speak Chinese at all. So I do speak English with them but if I know that person can speak Chinese, there’s no way I can be comfortable enough in conversing in English with him/her.

Chinese = Chinese who can speak Chinese.
ABC = Chinese who can’t speak Chinese.

Yeah, it may be normal to you. I read Moonlight’s blog and I got to know her reason on why she isn’t comfortable in conversing in English with Chinese. And for me, I have my own reasons as well. I often see a family with a bunch of kids in supermarket, KLCC, Mid Valley, etc speaking to each other in English. Yeah, this is what you might call an English speaking household. But if you listen to them speak, it’s broken. There are some family/household that can speaks good English and I am pretty sure they are genuine ABC. But for those with broken English, it’s fake and pretentious.

If someone tells me that they can’t speak Chinese but they speak good English, I accept it. But if the person says he/she can’t speak Chinese but speaks broken English, then there’s something wrong. You don’t spend your life speaking in English and end up still broken. That’s what I see a lot, Chinese speaking broken English with another Chinese. And even if it’s not broken and totally legit English, you could see the difficulty in them trying to speak the language. It’s pretty obvious that they are just putting it up as an act.

And to be honest, I don’t really fancy people like this. That is why I feel weird whenever I speak English with a Chinese because I feel like one of them or trying to be a westerner wannabe. Not that I can’t speak English but I just don’t fancy using English with another Chinese.

I started 2 years nursery in an English-speaking nursery home at the age of 4. At the age of 6, I went to a tadika, an all Malay tadika. I was the only Chinese there. At the age of 7, I went to a kebangsaan primary school. And for the whole 6 years in that primary school, I was the ONLY Chinese. The others are all Malays with 2 Indians. I spend more time speaking in Malay than Cantonese for those 6 years. At 13, I went to a boarding school in Perak which is a secondary school. And again, the ratio of Chinese to Malays is 1:250. 1 Chinese for every 250 Malays. I was the only Chinese in my batch. And there were never more than 3 Chinese at any given time/year. I lived there for 5 years.

By the time I was 18, I can count all my Chinese friends with 1 hand. When I started college (a Chinese majority college) I can hardly finish making a point in Cantonese without pausing several times and asking other the meaning of something in Cantonese. I would rate Malay as my first language and English as second. My Cantonese would come third. But still I try to speak in Cantonese with my friends and today, I am pretty happy with that way it turned out. I speak Malay better than even some Malays, but you don’t see me using that (except with Malays). And the majority of people in this country understand Malay, so why don’t I just stick to Malay and English? I am sure a lot of people will understand me even if I don’t speak Chinese. And the fact is, its actually better to perfect your Malay and English in this country. Cantonese doesn’t hold much weight.

Bottom line is, if 2 people can speak Chinese then they should speak Chinese. Unless one of them really can’t speak Chinese, then it’s obviously logical to speak in English or any other languages. And for those parents who want their kids to master English at a young age, you don’t have to talk to them in English all the time. Unless you can speak good English then just leave the teaching to the qualified. I’ve seen a lot of parents trying to converse in English with their kids with much difficulty and even some are broken. My parents can’t really speak English but still I end up the way I am today. It’s how you bring your kids up, not what language you talk to them.

And look at all those Chinese artists who “incorporate” English into their songs (part Chinese, part English). Their English lyrics make NO SENSE at all. They have grammar mistakes all over. They just want it to rhyme regardless of whether they make sense or not. And some can’t even pronounce it properly. I can forgive the pronunciation part since different background people have different accents but the grammar mistakes and the nonsense lyrics are just too much. It’s actually embarrassing.

I have more respect for these 2 guys in F4, Vaness and Ken (not sure the spelling). They speak really good English and their Mandarin is good too. They can’t really act but they speak good English. Even Nicholas Tse, he can speaks good English, Cantonese, Mandarin and heck, he can even write and read in Chinese. Daniel Wu and Edison Chen, if you look at this 2 trying to speak Chinese, you can see that they are totally out of their elements but still they try.

It’s not a choice if you’re born into an English speaking household, but it’s a choice on whether you want to learn Chinese or not. Till today, I still can’t really write my name perfectly in Chinese, but at least now I can speak in Chinese without pausing as much as before

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This one was from Moonlight.

You did write good stuff. That's why I'm checking them out everyday^_^ I guess I should refrain from giving you anymore comments..so that you could write stgh new instead of replying to comments...hehe.

Wei… bagi muka abit la. You can’t really expect me to come up with something new everyday right? I may be good *wink* but I am not really that freaking good. I'm still a little cute boy learning how to write... hehe ;p Speaking of which, maybe tomorrow I’ll post a story about a boy :)

All comments were posted in "comment response #8"

I think the screening is kinda good idea...hehe. Since there's thousands of emails from ahmoi.com and I don't even put any picture there.But seriously, from what I read from your blog, some ppl don't find ahmoi as a useful source but something else...you know what I mean. There's so many ppl like this (the William, Reload Card Beggar, Killer Question Lady etc). I received an 'interesting' email from ahmoi.com too..but I'd deleted it. It was from this businessman who claim that he travels around the world doing business and need someone to accompany him on his lonely trips.And of course, he offered payment for the companionship.
What is in ppl's head nowadays? Nothing but sex and money?
Genius noodle, tell me that I can still cling on my tiny hope of true love.

Yeah, screening is good but that depends on what’s the intention of screening in the first place. Whether she wants to screen for a big fat wallet or maybe screen for guys who are nice and etc. And apparently, this girl is screening for a BMW *grin*

Seriously, ahmoi.com isn’t really much of a useful source to find someone meaningful. I’m speaking from my personal point of view here so this might not apply for others but 85% of all the girls in ahmoi.com can’t really converse well in English. I am sure they can communicate just fine in their mother tongue but when it comes to replying mails in English, it all goes haywire. Almost 90% of all profiles that I’ve browsed thru have got nothing in their description. I really doubt that they are there to find any friends. My personal view on this is that, they are somewhat introvert in real life and can’t really find a guy (or girl) to truly appreciate them for who they are, so they resort to trying their luck in ahmoi.com. But when they set up their account, they don’t really write anything in there. And I mean it’s blank or just a single line "looking for sincere" or something like that.

Why don’t they write anything one may wonder. 2 reasons that I can think of are first, they aren’t really there to find any friends or they weren’t putting any hope in finding any friends and secondly, there are nothing they can say about themselves. I mean, the main reason why some of them play ahmoi.com is because their real life personality aren’t "attractive" so if they were to describe their personality into words and putting it into the profile, it would just probably repel off anyone just like how they did in real life. So the best for them is to just leave it blank, leave it all to fate and hope there are some mails in the inbox the next day. Well, they could lie but what’s the point? Lie now and get the guy and then when the guy finds out and walks off, it would be even worse for them.

I have a girl replying to me saying that she didn’t understand what I wrote and asked me if she had hurt me by saying that she didn’t understand me. It’s like she is saying that my English was bad and that she hope she didn’t hurt my feelings by revealing to me that my English was bad. And btw, she got one of my copy/paste emails and she’s the only one who tells me she doesn’t understand what I wrote.

hi, nice to meet u....
Actually i don understand wat u r trying to say..
m i hurt u? if yes, so sorry wo....
hv a nice day...:-)

Tell me, how am I supposed to reply to this mail? All of them can understand English in general, I am sure of that. And I am sure they get good score for PMR and SPM too. Except for the little grammar errors here and there (I myself have problems with grammars my whole life) most of them can understand standard English. But once you start going flowery or using phrases or being funny or stuffs like that, they automatically go blank. If you were to see how I write my post and how I chat and how I write my mails, they are totally different. Writing my post, I don’t have to concern if those reading it will understand me or not because this is largely a one-way thing, so I can write whatever way I want. But while chatting and emailing, I have to make sure they get what I’m trying to say so most of the time I have to go back to SPM English.

And there is this girl who replied me with 3 letters, "asl". It’s either she’s arrogant or she’s got problems.

And I get a lot of replies that ask me to tell them more about myself. I actually got sick of this. When you first meet a friend in real life, do you ask the person to tell you more about him/her? You don’t put a friend that you just know on the spotlight. You start with fluff talk, jokes, stupid jokes or anything along those lines. And for those who think this is stupid, I can safely say that they are not really fun people to be around with. They just do not know how to go easy.

I remember once during college where I was having a drink with a friend in a restaurant. Then one of my friend’s friends that I do not yet know came over and sits next to us. He actually overheard us talking about a band so he just slotted in and I just chatted with him like his is already a friend. We ended up chatting for a good couple of hours before I actually got to know his name. You don’t want any pressure when meeting someone new, real life or virtual. You just let it be, talk something stupid, something light, something funny (but not to the level of being a clown).

There are even some who replied back asking why am I being hostile. I was actually just joking with them and they automatically thought that I was being mean. Some people are just so hung up. Even if I am insulting them, it’s just on emails, no one knows so their dignity isn’t harmed so why can’t they give me the benefits of the doubt for the first time? If they still think I was genuinely being mean the second or the third time, then it’s still not too late to shut me off then. But why shut me off the very first time? Some people just aren’t flexible; it’s either their way or the highway. No fun at all *chuckle*

Well, maybe it’s just me, I don’t know *sigh*

Sex and money. It’s actually funny since you mention it. Men are willing to pay for sex and women are willing to give sex for money. There’s sex in the head of men and there’s money in the head of women. I think these kinda stuffs are going to stay for a long long time *sigh*

And stop calling me genius, I’m blushing already… hehe. I can’t tell you that you can still cling on to your tiny hope of true love but I’m sure you’ve already found the answer in Joe. *grin*

oi... wat this??!! generalising ALL the st. something-soemthing & convent something-something people into revolting 'regulars' who want to be something they arent?!! FYI - i came from BOTH a St. & Convent something [St. Michael's & Main Convent Ipoh - I'm proud of it - so there!] But seriously, not EVERYONE'S like that! I admit there are some unbearable buggers who think that they're better than everyone else (and act like it too!) but there ARE regulars who just enjoy being ourselves, or even ah beng or cina at times - i mean, there's a bit of each in every one of us, dont u think so? personally, though i'm able to speak good english (and that means NO grammatical mistakes at all), i relish indulging in all the la's and broken english that make me sound just like a cina (or ahbeng). [note the "wat this?!" instead of "wat's this?!" at the beginning of this post] It's more fun, somehow (minus the swearing, of course *grin*).
Haha, ok, noodlez - b4 u get all heated up saying i'm misdirecting this barrage of indignance at you, let me say i'm just posting it here in the hopes that moonlight might read it. too lazy to go hunting for his/her blog (at the mo).
and hrmm... bout the ahmoi gal who asked bout the bmx/w... i was going to suggest that perhaps she PURPOSELY asked you those questions just to see how you would respond to them. But since all she did was ask about the BMX/W thing in answer to your reply... i can only say that some women are an embarrassment to the female gender. *sigh*...
kim here, btw...

Erm… I think Moonlight did use the word “TEND” on her post so technically she is not generalizing ALL the St. something-something & something-something Convent people into revolting 'regulars' who want to be something they aren’t like you said. What I believe she said was, the Regulars tend to come from St. and Convent schools which is true to a certain extent. A large percentage of the Regulars do come from the St. and Convent but that doesn’t mean ALL St. and Convent are Regulars.

I do agree that there’s a bit of each in every one of us, but if a person can speak Chinese but chooses to speak English (or be Regular) instead, now that’s a bit sad. Before anyone holds me against my word, what I meant was, if the person is speaking to another person who can’t speak Chinese (mat salleh, ABC) then English is the way to go, but if both can speak Chinese but instead they choose to speak in English, now that’s really sad.

To sound like a Cina or Ah Beng, then just speak in Chinese. And if you are speaking to a person who can’t understand Chinese at all and you have to use English, then I guess that person would really appreciate it if you could speak in proper English because broken English to a mat salleh or ABC is really not that nice. I am sure a mat salleh would prefer proper English rather than broken English, although broken English does sounds cute. Broken English is only for Chinese learning to speak English to someone who can’t speak Chinese, and hopefully after learning, they can move up to proper English. I do agree with BMX girl, broken English (…la, mah, meh, hor, wor; you should only use this when speaking in Chinese) is acceptable in writing but preferably not in speaking.

Yeah, about the BMX thing, I already knew the reason why she asked those questions. Her main concern is only the first question. The others are merely bait for suckers like the dress up question as well as just a cover up for her true intention (the first question). If you really read the answers carefully, there were actually insults in it. And the fact that she didn’t even bother about the insults when she replied me; it was clear what kinda person she is and her intentions.

And btw, I posted this up because you wanted Moonlight to read it so putting it as a post would help. And what I wrote here is purely one way and is a reflection of what I think. It’s not a rebuttal to what you said. I leave the rebuttal to Moonlight, if she’s interested :)

Ok, Moonlight has replied. And since I’m at it, I’ll just append it here.

Ahem...if you read my blog, I highlighted that I am not generalizing the anything but the fact is the Regular DO comes from the St. Sthg-Sthg and Sthg-Stgh Convent, because you guys can speak English better than the Cinas and the AhBengs. Not true? I take back my 'revolting' word but it's just psychologily true. Maybe I should not say revolting....it's kinda an insulting statement. I do have friends from those schools. Great ppl actually and no hard feelings with them. It's just when they try to talk with perfect English and most deadly when they try to speak with accent.....There's even some of my friends from my Kebangsaan school that behaves this way. I feel kinda uncomfortable chatting with them not because I can't speak at their superior English level, it's because I feel that us Chinese no matter where we are, should converse in Chinese...it's our root. Don't forget....:)
And if you do speak both English and Chinese fluently...good for you. I salute you^_^

Man, you are fast. I was about to post this and then I saw you’ve already replied to it. But on the bright side, at least I know you are checking me blog quite frequently… hehe. And btw, nice reply, you are very tactful *grin*

Yeah, I am with you with your last part. I just can’t speak English with a Chinese. I’ll just get this weird feeling and I felt different. And the fact that the Cantonese-speaking me is much more loveable than the English-speaking me *laugh*

Hahah... okies... must admit that i cant tahan my fellow 'regulars' who speak with accents as well... darn fake + so pretentious. go japan one month can come back with american accent, can u believe it?! hrmmm... must admit that i'm part banana... though i can converse in cantonese (not too good though)... mandarin n hokkien = always kena laugh at when i speak... but hey, at least i'm trying, right? ;) oklah... we better not rob noodlez of the attention he gets from this blog with this discussion *grin* dun get mad yah noodlez... -kim-

Nah, discussion is good. Heck, I was actually hoping for a cat fight *dissapointed* But really, I don't care about the attention, I just want readers. See the counter at the side? I want the numbers to go up but I don't want to cheat. And I want more people to read what I have to write. So anyone here who likes to forward stuffs (word of mouth, mails), do me a favor, help this little cute boy fullfil his dream *laugh* I do write good stuffs anyway or at least that's what people keep telling me :)

All these comments were posted on “I got screen-ed”. So I’m just going to reply it in one go. I am getting lazier by day *grin*

I got to know this site from u in an email thru Ahmoi. Sorry i didn't reply u there, but i just wanna tell u this is a great blog. Keep it up! I'll b reading it often. - By Anonymous

good one u've got there...i enjoyed reading.. regards by po2 - By Anonymous

This is very hilarious. I have mix feeling for this ahmoi of yours. Hope you get a date, genius...LOL... - By Moonlight

hi valium, lexhooi here. i guess there really are girls like that in the world. holy &**#! the questions are more difficult to answer than a miss world pageant. good luck man. - By Anonymous

For the first one second one, thank you for having the time stopping by at me humble blog. People have been saying that me blog is interesting and they like it and its great and everything but none have yet to tell me that me blog is MARVELOUS and that I deserve to win an award *laugh* I would have come up with a one hell of an acceptance speech *grin*

As for the third and fourth comments, like what I’ve said in my reply to her mail, I did lose her at BMX. She send me back a reply asking for confirmation whether I was for real about the whole BMX thing. She never questioned any of the other 9 answers I wrote but only the first one. Well, I just hope that she’d find her BMW guy. And hopefully both of them are nice people. It wouldn’t be good if either one of them are not nice people. One using the other and one being used, or maybe both *grin*

I hope I am not being out of line when I say this but I don’t need luck *grin* and I don’t date girls who ask how big my wallet in the very first question. She can find herself another sucker for that. There are a lot of suckers out there… hehe. Pretty face is common. Look is only skin deep but character is to the bone. I could have a trophy wife or something like that but it would be wrong.

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Comment was initially posted on “types of chinese” Posted by: Moonlight

I put this in my blog too...LOL^_^ and with my own analysis there. I prefer to be a 100% Malaysia Chinese who can speak BM,English and Chinese whenever needed. However the Regular group tend come from the St.Something-Something and Something-Something Convent. I found it very revolting seeing those westerner wannabees.I,myself,comes from a Kebangsaan school, so I don't learn chinese as well and there's many Regulars in my school too-_-.....I don't mind the AhBengs...swear all they want,they are just being themselves.
I love my country and I don't want to go anywhere else....
Negaraku....Tanah Tumpahnya Darah kuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Well, I don’t find them revolting but I just feel sad for them. They got no idea how much of a fool they look when they “try” to be something that they aren’t. Cool, we are both from sekolah kebangsaan but there aren’t any Regulars in my school. Heck, there weren’t even any Chinese. Yes, Ah Bengs can swear all they want because they are just being themselves, but can’t they have at least some decency in not swearing in front of the ladies or old folks? This is pure common sense manners. They might not have to respect the ladies or whoever, but at least have some respect left for themselves. Swearing might be cool when you are with guys but not in front of the ladies or old folks.

Got this one from a friend’s blog. Pretty darn interesting.

Today, in Malaysia, there is no longer just the Chinese. Along the way, the Chinese people divided beyond dialects and religious faith. We now have denomination within the Chinese. The major three groups are Regular, Cina, and Ah Beng.
The Regular group is the minority, making up less than 20% of the Chinese people. This group has the following characteristics:

1. Speaks English as the first language.
2. Thinks the world owes them a living.
3. uses the Internet more than the other two groups combined.
4. Loves the iPod and/or IKEA.
5. Watches one or more of the following TV series: "Sex And The City", "Friends", or "CSI."
6. Thinks that the Regular group is way larger than it is and makes fun of the other groups, particularly the Ah Beng group. Why? Because it's fun.

Recent studies have also shown that there is a growing splinter group within the Regular group known as the CPWTTANC group. (CPWTTANC is short for Chinese People Who Think They Are Not Chinese.) This growing subgroup are considered elitist by some and are found making statements like "I wish I were in the U.S." or "This never happened when I was studying in Australia." They also tend to speak with an unidentifiable accent. The women may also prefer to date white men from foreign countries with the excuse that local men just "don't understand me" and have the secret desire to be taken away to the U.S. to live in a sitcom.

The second Chinese group, Cina make up approximately 55% of the Chinese community. (Cina is derived from the Malay word Cina which means Chinese and is pronounced "chee-na". And you will have to say it in a condescending tone for effect.) This group is considered mainstream and contribute to the numbers that reflect development in the country. They are the masses in context of the Chinese community. In other words, if you want to sell something to the masses of Chinese people, the Cina is it.

The Cina are identified by the following traits:

1. Speaks Mandarin or Cantonese as the first language.
2. Generally quiet, self-effacing, and obliging but are actually shrewd and calculative.
3. Sees Taiwan as the place to be.
4. More likely to forward chain email to people in their address book.
5. Goes to Halo Caf=E9 or Wow Wow Caf=E9 BY CHOICE at least three times a year.
6. Has Astro hardwired to Wah Lai Toi.
7. Calls a music video an MTV instead of music video.
8. Knows all the dim sum dishes by name.
9. Seventy percent of lighting at home generated by flourescent lights.

The last group are known as the Ah Bengs. This term was probably made up by the Regulars in the early 80s during the cultural invasion that saw the mass import of music and movies from countries like Hong Kong, Taiwan, and to some extent, Japan. This phenomenon saw the more open-minded and runaway members of the Cina group defect into Ah Bengs and its feminine equivalent, Ah Lian. They just took their Alan Tam and Anita Mui a little too seriously.
Perhaps the most made-fun-of group not only by its own Chinese people but by people of other races, the Ah Bengs are often seen as people living on the edge and have more flamboyant tastes.

One may identify the Ah Beng by these tell-tale signs:

1. Built-in visual self-defense mechanism that keeps people away from them.
2. Have enough amplifiers in their one car to power speakers for six cars.
3. Hair not in their original colour.
4. Volume of voice is automatically five decibels higher than everyone else.
5. Excessive use of the phrase "Kan Ni Na Bu Ciao Chee Bai". (Although, to be fair, some members of the Regular group have been reported to use the phrase on a daily basis as well.)
6. Once a fan of one of the following groups: Vengaboys, Dr Bombay, Aqua, or the Cheeky Girls.
7. Their Proton car does not look like a Proton car due to modifications.
8. For the Ah Lians, have at least one bag fashioned after a furry animal complete with the head.

Anyone who disagrees with this ?

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Well, let see how much of each I am made of. We’ll start from the above.

The regular: Score – 2.5 out of 6 = 42%

1. I don’t speak English as my first language. (0)
2. I don’t think the world owes me a living but I do think the world owe me something, don’t know what yet. Still in the discovery process. (0.5)
3. I think I use the internet just as much as the other 2 groups. I wouldn’t say that I use more than the 2 groups combined. (0.5)
4. Like IKEA but not really iPod. (0.5)
5. Friends and CSI, yes. Sex and the city, no. (2/3)
6. Don’t think the regular group is larger. And don’t make fun of the other 2 groups. But do think that the other 2 groups are amusing as they are. (1/3)

The Cina: Score – 3.5 out of 9 = 39%

1. Me speaks Cantonese as me first language. (1)
2. I am INDEED quiet, self-effacing, and obliging but I am NEITHER shrewd nor calculative. (0.5)
3. Don’t see Taiwan as the place to be except for when it comes to girls. Japan might be a good place too *grin* (0.5)
4. NEVER forwarded any chain mails to anyone before. (0)
5. Don’t know what is Halo Caf or Wow Caf. (0)
6. No Astro, no Wah Lai Toi. (0)
7. I call a music video a music video. I am actually still wondering how someone could call a music video as MTV. MTV is a brand. (0)
8. I only know “ha kau” and “siu mai”. And “pau” if you consider that as dim sum too. (0.5)
9. House is powered by fluorescent lights. (1)

Ah Beng: Score - 3 out of 8 = 37.5%

1. Built-in visual self-defense mechanism that keeps people away from them – Well, I think I look approachable. Strangers do tend to come at me sometimes, but still looking for that one hottie to sweep me off my feet *laugh* (1/3)
2. Erm… me BMX cannot fit any speakers (0)
3. Yeah, hair not in original color anymore. Heck, even my new grown hair isn’t pure black anymore (1)
4. Volume of voice is automatically five decibels higher than everyone else – Yeah, voice do tend to get higher as I speak but that was last time, now better (0.5)
5. Never use the phrase "Kan Ni Na Bu Ciao Chee Bai" ever. Most frequent usage of swear words are “fuck” in English and Cantonese and penis in Cantonese *laugh* (0.5)
6. Used to like Vengaboys and Dr Bombay. Still like Aqua but never liked Cheeky Girls (2/3)
7. Erm… does a modified BMX counts? (0)
8. Me no ah lian, so it doesn’t applies (0)

The conclusion, I am 35.44% of a Regular, 32.91% of a Cina and 31.64% of an Ah Beng. But I am not sure if I should be happy because I am so diversified or sad because I am 1/3 of an ah beng *laugh*

This is actually one of the reply mails I’ve got from a girl (obviously) in ahmoi.com. Pretty interesting I have to say. So I decided to post it up here the reply I wrote for her reply mail. Those in normal font are from her mail and those in bold are my reply. And btw, I’ve got her consent to post this since she’s already replied, so I’m no jackass who post mails sent to me for no reasons *grin*

p/s: I actually merged both mails into 1 in order to save space and because it's actually the smart thing to do

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hi there...

before i start anything here, i'd like to judge myself on your personality... i'm looking for someone who could bring me around KL since i'm new here.... sorry, i won't give out my phone number to anyone as a matter of fact... this is not my primary e-mail, once I choose the person i want to be friends with, i'll give you my real e-mail address and cell number...i've been hurt a few times but not regretted but i don't want to be hurt this time.... hence, the screening process.... you can lie all you want, but in the end, like i say, i'm the judge and i have the last say....

my requirements of a friend is not too high... i just need someone whom i can talk to and make me laugh, therefore i don't care if you aren't that good looking cuz i believe that good look comes from within...age isn't a concern...i don't care the numbers... you can be 40 and still act like a 16 year old and vice versa...

i) speaks above average english with a strictly NO "...la" accents... writing is okay..

ii) can tell jokes/stories in english

iii) high self-esteem and caring

iv) not a sex-maniac

v) hate receiving "copy paste" e-mails especially without addressing my name...my name's *****, not *********, *******, *******, lady, pretty girl, darling....etc (name has been changed to protect author’s identity, and for me not being an arse *grin*)

if you are any of the above, you may well stop reading it...no point reading any further...thank you

...
...
...

to those who passed the first hurdle with your expert lies, here's where i'll judge you...

here's what i like to do, a few open ended questions... be honest please, take it from me as a HINT!

here goes..

1) they say money is the measure of your success since everyone's an engineer and a manager... what car and model do you drive? -->

[Does it really gives you a glimpse of what kinda person a guy is by knowing what kinda car he drives? I thought your requirements for a friend is not high. It really baffles me when you actually asked for what kinda car he drives in your very first question. But anyway, I know it’s a question so here’s my answer. I drive a modified BMX (it’s not a typo, I really do mean BMX) with a double front hook suspension and a metallic body, a light body alloy and a metallic chain. And yeah, I got a black bicycle chain bracelet to go with it too. And you could stop reading now if you want since I guess BMW is the answer you were hoping for from the start. But still please do me a favor, continue reading, I don’t write all this for waste ;) ]

2) on the first date with me, what would you do? Where would you take me? -->

[First date? Hmm… I guess I’d take you to Starbucks, or maybe Coffee Bean for coffee. If you can’t take coffee then it’ll be Dome. Since it’s a first date, I won’t take much of your time. 30 minutes or 45 minutes max. If it turns out to be a good date, 30 minutes is enough, otherwise, 30 minutes is long. Incase you think I’m cheap; I just don’t bring people to somewhere fancy on a first date. I don’t buy my way into a girl, that’s insulting to a girl, don’t you think? As a friend, Coffee Bean is good enough. And we’d go Dutch with that too.]

3) when you meet a girl, what attributes do you take into account and what strikes you frenzy? -->

[When I first meet a girl, I’d see what kinda first question she’d asks. If her first question is "what kinda car you drive?" then I guess I know what’s her true intention or at least I know how she base her judgment on man. There’s an old adage "a woman’s body is her destiny" so if I were to ask a girl I first met "what cup size is your bra?" do you think I could get away with it? You judge a man with the size of his car (wallet) so I guess me judging a girl with the size of her breast is just as fair. *grin*

Ok, back to the question. What strikes me frenzy about a girl? Can hold up her hair with a pencil. Have a spirit of independence but doesn’t make a man of her life feel unnecessary. Are sexy and smart at the same time – for example, doing a crossword puzzle wearing a pair of flirty pajamas (with a pencil holding up her hair *grin). And like what you said earlier, high self-esteem. Bubbly helps too. And no girl power stuffs.]

4) i like rap, without searching the net, tell me what is slick rick and doug e fresh? -->

[How would you know if I’m (or all the others for that matter) not going to search the net and get the answers? I don’t fancy rap and I don’t fancy hip hop, so I really do not know. Mommy taught me to be honest, especially to girls ;). And btw, how does this related to you "screening" for a friend? Forgive me if this sounds rude but isn’t this a bit superficial? I admit it’s an interesting question but it’s just seems… superficial to me. Well, maybe you have your own reasons. Rock on! *grin*]

5) if you were given a chance to dress me up, how would that be? -->

[Hmm… playing dress up. You are one naughty girl *chuckle*. First I’d tied up your hair into 2 buns on each side, like sailormoon. There’d be make up, Loreal Sheer Cashmere for the perfect foundation and to hide your flaws *wink*. Then striking red blushes on both cheeks. Blue eye liner on the underside of the eyes with white on the upper side. And then red lipstick like how the traditional Japanese women like to put. Small lips are cute. Like a small version of a piggy nose… what a sight.

Dress sense… we start from below. Shoes will be a pair of silver color construction boots (like phua chu kang’s but silver not yellow) but cut it off from the ankle’s length. We don’t want to hide your lovely legs *wink*. Then a pair of black fishnet with a knee length bell shape skirt, something like an umbrella (not sure what you woman call that). The shirt will be a green sleeveless blouse with big pink dots on it. And for good measures, we’ll throw in some sparkles on your eyes for extra "electricity". Btw, there are no undergarments included. We’ll go commando with this *grin*

Now that’s how I would dress you up. In fact, all women show dress up like that. I mean women these days are boring. Black mini skirt and white baby tube and that’s it. *sigh*]

6) in just one word, what best describes you? And why.. -->

[A-genius-who-got-nothing-better-to-do-than-replying-to-this-kinda-questions. Technically, that’s one word. So why am I a genius who got nothing better to do than replying to this kinda question? Well, I guess I really do have nothing better to do. But people do like to say that I am sweet (they tasted my before), sensitive (I read cleo), charming and everything nice. I’m not trying to brag but what they say do make sense. I AM all that *chuckle*]

7) what do you think of homo marriages? -->

[On a more serious note: I don’t see anything wrong with homo marriages but under 1 condition. They should not have kids or I mean adopt one. The general populations in this world are not ready yet in accepting the reality of same sex marriage. If they (gay/lesbian) were to get a kid, their kid will have to go thru a dreadful experience growing up. They’ll get teased and laughed at school, kids are innocent, and they speak the truth. A kid raised by 2 men will most probably grow up not being able to relate to women and vice versa. A kid needs the best of both worlds. Same sex marriage, yes. Same sex marriage with kids, no.]

8) Are you a filial son? if so, how so? -->

[Whether I am a filial son or not, my parents know best. So why don’t you come on over and ask them yourselves? If a prodigal son was to tell you that he is a filial son, then how would you know which is true? I know you could always give him the benefits of the doubt but should you? So as for whether I am a filial son or not, I don’t think I am the best person to answer that question coz the answer from me for that question will always be a sincere true yes :)]

9) why should i choose you to be my friend? -->

[I’m not going to give you a "because…" I bet you are a smart girl or at least you do sound like one so I’m pretty sure you know what is best for you. What I personally think is, everyone should choose me to be their friend *wink* Not for I am better than anyone but for I am just as good as anyone. And since the fact that I am pretty bored these days, I could really use a friend to amuse me *grin* But I really doubt it that you’d read till this far. You’ve probably deleted this after you saw the word BMX. Or like the line "you had me at hello" in Jerry McGuire, for this particular version it would be "I lost you at BMX"]

10) what does the meaning underlying this "i do the best i know how, the very best i can...and i mean to keep on doing it to the end....if the end brings me out all right, what is said against me will not amount to anything...if the end brings me out wrong, ten angels swearing i was right would not make no difference? -->

[No regrets. At the end of the day, you have only yourself to answer to. Do what that pleases you, not what that pleases others. Angels swearing, devils smiling do not mean a shit. When you triumph, it’s yours. When you fall, it’s yours too. Everything is yours and yours only. Btw, nice one :)]

...thank you for your patience...i truely appreciate it and you'll be rewarded with my friendship if that is what you're looking for....

you will hear from me if i'm interested, if not... please do not regret what you did/said...live without regrets!

~as water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man~

[A reflection of face on water is obvious but a man’s heart? You never know]

****************************************************************************************

There is this one thing that I do like about this girl. Her live life with no regrets attitude. I’m not sure if she really does live by it or just saying it but it’s kinda interesting. And I do believe one thing that people who really do live life without regrets are generally very happy people.

And btw, people who do not believe in regrets are not ignorant. Here’s a quote from Laura Wolfe that I REALLY like. I only stumble upon this quote recently but I’ve been saying the exact same thing for a long long time now :)

"I do not believe in regret because I cannot change what has already happened. But what I can do is learn."

Saw this on the telly, again. Eve’s Diary. Before you start judging me, let me get this clear, I didn’t watch the show because I am a sissy; I just watch the show because I am captivated by the host, Cleo. Man, she is cute especially when she talks. It’s a mandarin show and my mandarin sucks so it does prove that I didn’t watch the show because of the show but because of the host.

But anyway, today’s show is about chivalry. Or in mandarin "fung tau" (I guess). So is chivalry dead these days? A lot of women on the show do seem to agree with it that most men these days aren’t really that much of a gentleman anymore. And sad to say, I do have to agree with them.

There aren’t anymore "ladies first" these days or it’s getting less and less. You don’t see guys opening a door for a girl anymore. The best a guy would do is to just walk first, push the door hard enough so that the girl behind him will have enough time to walk thru that door before it closes. You don’t see them holding the door for girls to walk past first. But to be fair, girls do play a factor in the death of chivalry.

As a girl, if you were happen to walk thru a door at the same time with a guy and he stops and open the door for you, what would you think? Yes, you’d say thanks and just walk but deep inside you might just think "losers" or "you aren’t going to impress me with that" or "I bet you open a lot of doors for women". And truth is, some girls even give out a cold stare or worse, a "what the hell do you think you are doing?" kinda look. So how do you expect a guy to be polite or nice when women aren’t giving them their due credits for being nice in the first place?

I remember offering a seat for a girl in LRT, well, actually it was an empty seat so I told her to take it and what I get in return is a “don’t you think I can’t stand?” kinda look. I think she’s a feminist. It was actually quite scary since I was just trying to be nice so I wasn’t expecting anything hostile from her. And since then, I stop offering anyone seats or anything for that matter, except for less able people and pregnant women.

Side story: Yeah, pregnant woman. Sometimes I really cannot differentiate between big tummy women and pregnant women. If I offer her a seat and she’s not pregnant, then it would be insulting to her. But if she’s really pregnant then I’d be a jackass for not offering my seat. That is why I always believe that pregnant women should wear a tag or something. Just to avoid the embarrassment. I’ve been in this situation a few times and it seriously sucks. To give or not to give. So what I’ll usually do is I’ll just stand up and walk away to another side. If she wants to seat, she seats.

Ok, back to main story, another reason why most men these days aren’t really a gentleman is because of the culture. Most of the viewers of the show that gave their opinions actually pin pointed Malaysian man to be impolite or “mou fung tou” (in Cantonese, means no fung tou, dunno how to explain in English). Chivalry exists mostly in the west and Europe. And the fact that chivalry is tightly linked to knights in shinning armor explains a lot why westerner are more of a gentleman that us Malaysian. Malaysian history does not have knights in shinning armor; we only have pahlawan in kain sarong.

In Malaysia, you see a lot of guys who swear in front of girls, Chinese especially. And I don’t mean swearing at the girls, I mean a bunch of guys talking in foul language in the presence of a lady. That is seriously rude. I used to be a very nice guy, I hardly swear *laugh*. Well, I do swear but if you compare it to the others, I am like a baby swearing. But I mixed too much with Chinese after my secondary that I sometimes wonder is it really ok to swear in front of a lady? I don’t see any girl saying anything about it; they just treat it as nothing. But I am proud to say that I never swear in front of a lady but I do swear when around guys, it’s a guy thing *grin*. My swearing stops automatically when a girl is in the area. Not because I am trying to put up a nice act but I just can’t get myself to swear in the presence of a lady.

I remember once opening the door of a cab for a lady friend and there was a pleasant surprise look on her face. At first I thought maybe it’s because I’m too damn good looking that morning *laugh* but then I realize that it’s actually because there are hardly any man who do that anymore. And the fact that I’m just a friend to her makes it even more than just a nice gesture. If it was a date then she would have expected it but if a guy does it out of the blue then it would mean something. Another way to sweep a lady off her feet *grin*

Another reason why chivalry seems to be fading is because men are learning from their mistakes. Look at history, Chinese especially. How many kingdoms and dynasties have fallen because of woman? Women are devious by nature (before anyone flame me, think hard). You never know what’s in a woman’s mind. If a guy is too nice to a lady, there’s a big probability that she would use him or take him for granted. Not that they want to but they just can’t help it. That is one of the reasons women do not really like sissies or nice guys in general because if they were to be given a nice guy, they know that in the end, she will end up using him and she will feel guilty about it. But she can’t help it. It’s like a struggle within, they can’t resist taking advantage of a nice guy (who offered himself to be taken advantage of) but at the same time she doesn’t want to take advantage of him because she knows there will be guilt to deal with later on. But like always, goodness hardly put up a fight. She’ll just end up taking advantage of the nice guy, thus making chivalry fading even faster. Women, such interesting creature *chuckle*

And one of the most famous excuse women use to justify the action of taking advantage of a nice guy is "he asked for it". Well baby, whatever makes you sleep better at night *grin*

A caller called in and says that men do not act chivalry anymore because of societies view. She said that if a guy was to open a door for his wife, then others might see it as the guy is afraid of his wife or queen control or something like that. Personally, I think it’s stupid but it does carry some truth in it. Be too nice to a girl and other might just think you are a sissy. Carry all her shopping bags and others will think that you are “whipped”. There are just no winning in this.

My personal opinion on this is that, chivalry is still very much alive, at least there’s still someone like me *laugh*. Chivalry should be use accordingly. Just like everything else, too much of something is not really a good thing. There’s a thin line in being a gentleman and being a sucker. The true art is knowing which is which. There’s still hope in chivalry, the only problem is that there’s not many man left who knows how to differentiate from being a true gentleman and a hopeless sucker.

The next time a guy is being nice to you, be nice back to him.

Comment was initially posted on “sept cleo review, my style” Posted by: Anonymous

you sound like a rather philosophical dude. Do you hail to my claim?

Do I get any price for it if I do hail your claim? *wink*

Philosophical may be an overstatement, although I do like stuffs like that. But I do think that I’m a misunderstood genius. Nobody thinks I’m a genius *sob* (got this one from Calvin *grin*)

And since I’m at it, here’s another philosophy from Calvin:

"Mom and dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in. But every time I do, they tell me to stop it."

You just got to love a kid like him *grin*

Saw this show on the telly yesterday, Eve’s Diary. Hosted by a girl name Cleo. I really have to say she is really cute and bubbly. But anyway, the content of show was about girls making the first move in relationship. Meaning girls doing the initiation.

All of the viewers they interviewed said that it’s ok for girls to initiate things first except for this one girl. This particular girl said that things should be as the way it was that men should do the initiation first. I can really tell that this girl has got low self-esteem. She’s a little plus size and not really what you’d call attractive. So I guess I could see where she’s coming from with her opinion. (I meant that in a good way)

But then again, for those who actually said that they agree that it’s ok for women to initiate things first, I really doubt it that they would actually go and DO IT. Women are really good in knowing what to say to make them look good but not doing what they say they would. They talk the talk but the hardly walk the walk *grin*

The only reason why women would prefer to have guys going after them rather than the other way round is because they are scared. They are scared of rejections. In being in the receiving end of numerous courtship attempts from guys, women have the choice to “choose”. If she doesn’t like this one, reject, if she thinks this one might have some potentials then she’d continue giving mixed signals to keep him around (mixed signals is a very powerful tool coz she could always blame it on the guy for misunderstanding when a girl decides to cut him off) and continue doing so until she finally finds her man that she wants.

But if a girl were to does the chasing first, then she’d lose all her powers. She’d be vulnerable to rejections. It’d be like walking on thin ice. And women don’t handle rejections well. The best a woman would do is to drop subtle hints at the guy and hopes that he “get it” but chances are, the guy might just be confused. Like I said, mixed signals are like a double edge sword. It could be good news and it could be bad news. Men are easily confused creature and we CAN'T read mind. And in general, men tend to fall for the [keeping-you-for-stand-by] (see above) mixed signals rather than the [legit-really-interested] mixed signals. The legit mixed signals are often rather shy and more subtle compared to the other kind of mixed signals which are more often direct and bold

If a girl really likes a guy, then just go for it. Rejection is part of the game. You don’t play tennis and not expect to be hit by the ball at least once. Actually, what’s the big deal in getting rejected? It doesn’t mean you are not good or anything. It's just that he doesn't find you interesting enough but that's his choice. You buy Pokemon instead of Digimon because you don’t find Digimon to be interesting enough for you but is Digimon going to cry because of your choice? No, because they know there are bound to be someone who knows how to appreciate Digimon. And there are bound to be someone who would appreciate you and find you interesting for who you are. You just need to keep trying (or holding on). Do not let this kinda rejections bring you down. It ain't worth it.

Same goes to guys who cry and beg and stuffs after being rejected by a girl. By doing all these sissy stuffs, the girl would actually lose all respect she has for you. If you were to take it like a man and be gentleman enough in accepting her decision, at least she would have had more respect for you. You’ve already lost the girl; you don’t want to lose your dignity and pride with it too.

The truth is, a lot of guys want to be chased for a change. Women these days are more empowered than ever so what’s wrong with taking charge for a change (and I mean that once a while not forever). Guy loves girl to send them flowers and then call him out and buy him dinner out of the blue. Sweep the guy's feet for a change. Reserve the roles for one night. Men love that.

Btw, I read this one in CLEO, if a girl asks a guy out (1 on 1, boy and girl only), is that a statement of intent? Does that mean the girl is interested in the guy? I mean, can’t a girl ask a guy out just for fun? Maybe for coffee or movie, as friends and nothing serious? Does it really have to mean that if a girl asked a guy out then the girl must have a crush on him or a little infatuated? Is it true that only when a girl is interested in a guy that only then she would ask a guy out for movie of coffee? (subtle hint perhaps?)

Back to main story, but then there’s actually a danger in women making the first move thou. Guys suck at rejecting women. If a girl likes him, then chances are he’ll be happy in jumping in but then after a while it will all turn sour because he doesn’t really like her in the first place. It all happens because most guys aren’t really good at rejecting (or should I say, rejecting a good proposition). And the fact that a girl is presenting herself in a silver platter makes it even harder to resist the temptation of the moment.

So my personal opinion is that, women should go and chase guys too but don’t take rejection personally. It’s just part of the game. Guys get rejected too (even more). Some guys got burned really badly but that doesn’t seem to stop them from trying. If you like a guy, go after him or let him know. And if he rejects you then so what? It doesn’t mean a shit. It’s his choice and there’s nothing you can do about it. If he rejects you in a manly polite way, then you (still) got a new friend (given that you can get over him) and if he did it the jackass way then he ain’t a keeper anyway. It’s a win-win.

Sometimes a person needs to go thru 99 rejections before finding the “good” one. Don’t take rejections personally, enjoy it.

Today in The Star there are a few articles dedicated for Pretty Boy or SNAG (Sensitive New Age Guy). Those few articles are Day of the Clean Man, Men and Skincare, What women want, Do real men wear make up? and Make up for men.

Truth is, I agree with most of the things said in the articles. Men these days do not wash their face with just soap and water anymore. There’s a whole range of facial products and stuffs. Some guys even pluck their eyebrows, had manicure, spa and etc. But the line has to be drawn somewhere.

In the “Do real men wear make up?” and “Make up for men” articles, it actually teaches guys how to put on MAKE UP. They even have lip balm (or something like that), eye liner (EYE LINER!!!), “complexion illuminator” and a “fortifying nail-smoothing highlighter”. Imagine finding all these inside a man’s HANDBAG. Heck, imagine a guy carrying a HANDBAG.

Everyone wants to look good. Facial products are acceptable. It’s just like shampoo for your hair; soap for your body so there’s nothing wrong in getting something for your face. Getting your eyebrow plucked is fine too; it’s just like cutting your hair and the same goes to having a manicure. You just want to keep it nice and clean instead of biting your nails with your teeth.

But putting on make up is seriously way too much. If you have oily skin, then wash it regularly and it’ll look just fine. If you have flaky skin, wash it with moisturizer or anything. If you have dry lips then drink more water. You don’t need to carry a lip balm. You don’t need to go to the washroom to powder your nose like women do.

I really think the whole metrosexual thing is going overboard now. Women want guys who look neat and tidy, but not someone who takes longer to get ready for a night out than women. And what’s with the Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG) thing? Just because he is metrosexual, does that make him a sensitive man? It’s like saying all beautiful women are nice. Women couldn’t care less if a guy have good complexion, attitude is what that counts.

And I’m going to say something that most women are going to disagree with me but between sensitive and attitude, women are more attracted to man with attitude than sensitive man. Consciously, women will not agree with me but subconsciously, that’s what been happening in the world. Women SAY they want a sensitive guy (women above 35, yes) but they are attracted to guy with attitude instead. Guys with attitude can be sensitive but sensitive guys are hardly with any (useful) attitude if at all.

But I do want to make a generalization here, my personal generalization. All pretty boys who have this really clean cut look are actually not really man. I mean those with REALLY good skin complexion, perfect eyebrows, shinny lips and everything. They look gay seriously. Pretty boys look gay.

You don’t want to be a boy; you want to be a man. And a man does not wear make up or eyeliner or powder his nose. A man does not need perfect complexion (Loreal Sheer Cashmere *laugh*). Healthy and clean skin is more than enough; you do not have to close up the pores or shit like that. A man without scars is not a man.

Warning: This Is Long

Bought CLEO the other day. Started buying it few months ago since I got nothing better to read. At first I find the magazine to be really amusing. I practically treated it as a joke book, I read it for laugh (it’s seriously funny from a guy’s perspective or at least from my personal perspective). But I do have to say that some of the advices are really good except for those advices that have some feminist agenda to it.

It cost only RM 5.70 which is a lot cheaper than my FHM. But one thing about CLEO is the amount of advertisements; I think more than half of the magazine pages are pure ads. Women really have it good. They’ve got a whole bunch of products that they can choose from. They even have fruity flavored nail polish. I mean who cares how the nail polish smells, you just wanna remove the polish.

The second page, Lancome Juicy Tube ads, I really like the lips. The color, the shinny watery look. I really like the ad’s description [Lips look plump and good enough to eat]… really makes me wonder how it feels to “eat” it… hmmmm

Most of the users that CLEO asked for opinions and reviews are actually not pretty. I mean they look average. Maybe because this is a woman’s magazine so in order to keep the general women readers’ self-esteem in check, they refrain from publishing pretty girls. Page 46, lima lima pun tak lawa. Page 47, itu pun tak lawa. Page 54, also tak lawa, the third one kira ok la (2 stars). And Anna Sui, sigh, no need cakap.

And look at page 62, one of the reasons why I say women have it good in this world. With a few years more in the advancement of make up, I think there will not be a single ugly woman left in this world anymore. Look at the original pictures and the after-make-up picture. This is why I don’t really fancy women with make-up in general. It kinda makes me feel being cheated in a way *laugh* I prefer girls more with natural look, but then again, if a girl is not pretty, I guess make up is the only way to go.

If the Loreal Sheer Cashmere really works as good as how it looks on Natalie Imbruglia, I would seriously recommend it to any women. Her skin is seriously FLAWLESS. At it looks alluring, the velvet skin… it makes you feel like touching it. It might work if you want a guy to touch you *wink*

The next page to the Loreal Sheer Cashmere ad is the XIXILI ad, a lingerie brand. There’s this 2 female models in bra and panty. And both models have got small breast *chuckle* I guess this is smart from XIXILI, if they were to get big boob models, then it would probably deter Malaysian women from buying it since in general, Malaysian women have got relatively small breast *chuckle* You need to make the women feel good about themselves if you want them to buy your stuffs. Nice work XIXILI *grin*

I really love those stuffs on page 80 but too bad I’m not a girl. I just got this thing for fancy stuffs.

Maybelline Water Shine 3D Glitters, not nice, not in the ad at least. Lancome Juicy Tube looks better.

Page 102, users’ opinions, none pretty. Page 104, users’ opinions (men), satu pun tak handsome.

Page 117, exactly what I was saying earlier, Soshio’s Fruity Wipe Off. Who cares about fragrance when you just want to wipe of your nail polish. And those Vitamin E, Moisturizer and Protein, if you don’t want to damage you nails, then don’t polish. And the fact is, not all women actually look good with nail polish. Nail polish works best if you got a nice sharp pointy fingers and nails. If you’ve got short meaty fingers, why draw attentions to it?

Page 123, Wet ‘N’ Wild Moisture Rich Lipstick, not nice. Not shinny at all. The color cacat. And again, if a girl doesn’t have a nice shape lips, don’t use a striking color lipstick, skin color lipstick with a little contrast is good enough.

Page 133, I used to like Ruby Lin a lot, but lately I think she’s got a little plump on the face, or what they call baby fat. I like her better before.

Page 149, Extra Wrigley’s Chewing Gum. The blueberry one is REALLY nice.

Page 155, Charlize Theron is seriously not pretty at all. Take off her make up and you will see. She’d probably make a child cry without her makeup. Kate Hudson looks really pale in this shot, not nice but still she’s one of my favorites. I really like her bubbly personality. Jessica Alba rocks, I kinda like her shot in this one, especially the eyes. The kinda eyes where you darken the under side of the eyes (don’t know what they call in women language)

Page 177, even Marigold posted an ad in CLEO. Very impressive *laugh*

Page 184 – 188, the male model is seriously not good looking. Except for the fact he is a mat salleh who I think lives in Asia or Malaysia, he is seriously not “tasty”. His skin is way too pale and I think he’s gay (no, it doesn’t takes one to know one).

Page 190 – 192, not bad, facial product for guys.

Page 193, I seriously like this ad a lot. Brylcream (out-of-bed) Wax Stick. The ad actually objectifies women in a way but still it gets published in a women magazine. I guess they need to put something in for the male readers.

Page 204, NO!!!, one night with Jennifer Lopez is not the ultimate male fantasy. Her ass is WAY TOO BIG that it makes you wonder if it’s real, and who wants to be with a girl who gets married (and divorced) faster than a F1 car finishing a lap?

Page 211, Belinda Lee, she is really attractive, think if I can get into the cup with her? Hmmm… no harm fantasizing thou *laugh*

Page 213, like I said, some women without make up is not a pretty sight, celebrities included. Look at Britney Spears, she looks… ordinary, plain, average, like her music.

Page 216, now this is what I call beauty. Michelle Reis.

Page 242 – 247, 5 ways to melt his heart

1. Wear the color of love, pink. I do agree with this, women in pink are actually kinda nice. It makes them look kinda submissive in a way. But still that depends on the outfit. What the magazine suggests is actually very cool, tube top with miniskirt, nice match!
   
2. Wear a sexy scent. It suggested Chic by Carolina Herrera but I don’t know about that since I never smell it before. But personally, Ralph Lauren’s Romance is seriously very very nice. And Tommy Girl too. Others are nice as well but only a few that can really make a man’s heart skip a beat with just the smell. You don’t want it to just smell nice; you want it to “electrocute” a man’s heart.
   
3. Smile a lot. Very true but then again, some people just aren’t made to smile.
   
4. Be body confident. There’s actually a very thin line between being body confident and being a slut. Overdo it and you’ll probably cheapen yourself. Faking body confident and you’ll look like a robotic doll trying to flirt. Not everyone can flaunt those curves, even if they have killer curves.
   
5. Bat those lashes. Volumising the lashes are cool. But only if you know how to play with the eyes. Eyes speak a thousand languages. Side story: when I was small, I have this habit of looking people directly into the eyes regardless what they are doing, strangers included. I’d probably win a staring competition back then. Kinda freaked them out but I just can’t help it. But now, I look somewhere else *grin* Personally, dreamy eyes melt the heart every time.

Page 252 - 255, seriously, she might have the lips of Jennifer Gardner but get real. She’s not attractive at all. If they put her in a guy’s magazine I think they’ll get slammed from the readers. But on the other hand, maybe it’s different with women, they’d probably prefer to look at models less good looking than them so that they can say “if she can be a model, so could I”. Confidence booster I guess.

Page 260, ["I was so ready to get out of my wedding dress. For the whole reception I was like, when do we get to go upstairs?" – Jessica Simpson admits the sole thing on her mind during her wedding was losing her virginity] Need I say more? Ok, I don’t need to say more but I want to say more *laugh* She has this whole naïve thing going on with her that to a point where it actually annoys you. Girls who are a little innocent and naïve is adorable but too much is repulsive.

Page 263, man, now I can learn about periods too. Maybe I’d turn out to be a very sensitive man in the future *laugh*

Page 268, want to feel sexually charged, bursting with energy and flushed with confidence? Yoga is the answer (according to the article). I doubt it that it would works but at least you learn how to be physically more flexible which is not a bad thing *wink*

Page 272, 5 blatant lies about men.

1. We all have secret nick-names for our willies like Captain Action. Yeah, it’s a lie, not all have secret nick names for their willies, some isn’t a secret anymore *laugh*
   
2. Our orgasm is more important than yours. Yes, a lie. Men do care about women’s orgasm. The fact that men can orgasm easily makes it less important to us. Getting women to hit the peak is an art. An art all men should master, so women’s orgasm is more important.
3. We would all screw around if there was zero chance we’d get caught. Sorry to say guys, but this is not a lie. If there were zero chance of getting caught, then what’s the harm of screwing around? Not that anyone would know. I think there’s a slight problem with the sentence thou but still, if zero chance, I’d screw around but too bad that’s not the case.
   
4. We are all bastards. True and false. Not all men are bastards but all men will be a bastard at least once, one time or another.
   
5. We can’t tell the difference between sex and intimacy. True and false. We definitely can tell the difference between sex and intimacy but we just couldn’t care much about it *grin*

Page 274, they gave you websites to research Human Genome Project, Forensic Entomology and Forensic Botany. And also a description to “ping” (a network tool). If you read FHM, they’ll give you websites to see athletes getting knocked on the willies, science gone wrong, tetris for adults and also where to drink the best beer in the world. That’s the thing with guys, we’ll always be boys. We don’t need to act smart by reading Forensic Botany, we’re happy with seeing half-naked women after wining a level in tetris.

Page 276, the guy is really nerd looking. I mean I wear specs too but I don’t look like that (or do I?). And the way he answers those questions (he’s talking about his career, the column is called Career Focus) is boring. I wonder how he is going to get girls. I think he’d probably get a 35 years old lady since they put up less fuss about guys. Or maybe he’d get a girl with “nice personality” *chuckle*

Page 277, Ralph Spritz Blitz Body Spray. The design is really cute, like a water bottle spray. I wonder if it smells as good as it looks.

Page 285, Silky Lips ad. Seriously, those people behind this ad have got some serious issue. Those 3 models are probably going to make the company bankrupt. But then again, that is just from a male’s perspective. Not so good looking girls in a woman magazine might just work. But if they were to put this 3 girls in FHM, I’m going to write to them *laugh* But personally, these 3 models’ lips aren’t suitable for a lip product. Lancome Juicy Tube is still the best.

Page 290 – 291, the books they recommend are seriously boring. But then again, this is coming from a male’s perspective. At least FHM do recommend some interesting books like Computer Waiting Games, ways to combat suicidal tendencies during computer down time.

Page 292, I really think Anne Hathaway to be really annoying. It’s either she’s naïve or she’s really naïve. Or maybe that’s just the way she looks. I don’t know.

Page 295, Gillette for women. The truth is, I only know that women do have hair on their legs after I first saw an ad for hair wax or leg wax (whichever one) *laugh* I mean I never saw any girls with hair on their legs before, so how am I suppose to know?

Page 296 – 297, Kate Hudson. What a sight…

Page 300 – 302, Jon Passavant, the face of Estee Lauder’s Beyond Paradise Men. I really don’t think he’s hot or anything. Just a plain joe to me. Colin Farrell looks much better.

Page 304, 306, 308, 310. I really love reading all these Q&A regarding life, sex, men and medical. You get to laugh *chuckle*

Page 320. A page dedicated for artist. They write in their answers for some questions in their own handwriting. Since I know a little about handwriting stuffs, so I’m going to see what I can read from hers. This month’s artist is Maya Karin.

• Her handwriting show signs of her demanding varieties in her physical activities to satisfy insatiable physical desires. Sexually, she’s often creative and may be demanding as well.
  
• The physical drives are strong and deep. In a more interesting perspective, she’s got strong sex drives
  
• Her handwriting show signs of low self-esteem.
  
• She is secretive but not much.
  
• Her handwriting does indicate the presence of frustrations in areas such as relationships, exercise or sexual activities.
  
• She is blunt. She will be honest and blunt when asked for opinion.
  
• She has the ability to say things in a way that other people would want to hear. Can approach touchy subjects in a nice none invasive way.
  
• Her handwriting does show signs of being a cumulative thinker but it’s not really consistent so I can’t really say for sure.
  
• She could be sarcastic thou but then again, not to the extreme
  
• This is from the overall handwriting style: she’s ruled by judgment, meaning ruled by head and not heart, hardly shows emotions and objective. Withholds emotions.

Btw, this is just my personal interpretation of her handwriting. Her actual personality and what I perceived from her handwriting may vary.