Got this one from a friend’s blog. Pretty darn interesting.

Today, in Malaysia, there is no longer just the Chinese. Along the way, the Chinese people divided beyond dialects and religious faith. We now have denomination within the Chinese. The major three groups are Regular, Cina, and Ah Beng.
The Regular group is the minority, making up less than 20% of the Chinese people. This group has the following characteristics:

1. Speaks English as the first language.
2. Thinks the world owes them a living.
3. uses the Internet more than the other two groups combined.
4. Loves the iPod and/or IKEA.
5. Watches one or more of the following TV series: "Sex And The City", "Friends", or "CSI."
6. Thinks that the Regular group is way larger than it is and makes fun of the other groups, particularly the Ah Beng group. Why? Because it's fun.

Recent studies have also shown that there is a growing splinter group within the Regular group known as the CPWTTANC group. (CPWTTANC is short for Chinese People Who Think They Are Not Chinese.) This growing subgroup are considered elitist by some and are found making statements like "I wish I were in the U.S." or "This never happened when I was studying in Australia." They also tend to speak with an unidentifiable accent. The women may also prefer to date white men from foreign countries with the excuse that local men just "don't understand me" and have the secret desire to be taken away to the U.S. to live in a sitcom.

The second Chinese group, Cina make up approximately 55% of the Chinese community. (Cina is derived from the Malay word Cina which means Chinese and is pronounced "chee-na". And you will have to say it in a condescending tone for effect.) This group is considered mainstream and contribute to the numbers that reflect development in the country. They are the masses in context of the Chinese community. In other words, if you want to sell something to the masses of Chinese people, the Cina is it.

The Cina are identified by the following traits:

1. Speaks Mandarin or Cantonese as the first language.
2. Generally quiet, self-effacing, and obliging but are actually shrewd and calculative.
3. Sees Taiwan as the place to be.
4. More likely to forward chain email to people in their address book.
5. Goes to Halo Caf=E9 or Wow Wow Caf=E9 BY CHOICE at least three times a year.
6. Has Astro hardwired to Wah Lai Toi.
7. Calls a music video an MTV instead of music video.
8. Knows all the dim sum dishes by name.
9. Seventy percent of lighting at home generated by flourescent lights.

The last group are known as the Ah Bengs. This term was probably made up by the Regulars in the early 80s during the cultural invasion that saw the mass import of music and movies from countries like Hong Kong, Taiwan, and to some extent, Japan. This phenomenon saw the more open-minded and runaway members of the Cina group defect into Ah Bengs and its feminine equivalent, Ah Lian. They just took their Alan Tam and Anita Mui a little too seriously.
Perhaps the most made-fun-of group not only by its own Chinese people but by people of other races, the Ah Bengs are often seen as people living on the edge and have more flamboyant tastes.

One may identify the Ah Beng by these tell-tale signs:

1. Built-in visual self-defense mechanism that keeps people away from them.
2. Have enough amplifiers in their one car to power speakers for six cars.
3. Hair not in their original colour.
4. Volume of voice is automatically five decibels higher than everyone else.
5. Excessive use of the phrase "Kan Ni Na Bu Ciao Chee Bai". (Although, to be fair, some members of the Regular group have been reported to use the phrase on a daily basis as well.)
6. Once a fan of one of the following groups: Vengaboys, Dr Bombay, Aqua, or the Cheeky Girls.
7. Their Proton car does not look like a Proton car due to modifications.
8. For the Ah Lians, have at least one bag fashioned after a furry animal complete with the head.

Anyone who disagrees with this ?

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Well, let see how much of each I am made of. We’ll start from the above.

The regular: Score – 2.5 out of 6 = 42%

1. I don’t speak English as my first language. (0)
2. I don’t think the world owes me a living but I do think the world owe me something, don’t know what yet. Still in the discovery process. (0.5)
3. I think I use the internet just as much as the other 2 groups. I wouldn’t say that I use more than the 2 groups combined. (0.5)
4. Like IKEA but not really iPod. (0.5)
5. Friends and CSI, yes. Sex and the city, no. (2/3)
6. Don’t think the regular group is larger. And don’t make fun of the other 2 groups. But do think that the other 2 groups are amusing as they are. (1/3)

The Cina: Score – 3.5 out of 9 = 39%

1. Me speaks Cantonese as me first language. (1)
2. I am INDEED quiet, self-effacing, and obliging but I am NEITHER shrewd nor calculative. (0.5)
3. Don’t see Taiwan as the place to be except for when it comes to girls. Japan might be a good place too *grin* (0.5)
4. NEVER forwarded any chain mails to anyone before. (0)
5. Don’t know what is Halo Caf or Wow Caf. (0)
6. No Astro, no Wah Lai Toi. (0)
7. I call a music video a music video. I am actually still wondering how someone could call a music video as MTV. MTV is a brand. (0)
8. I only know “ha kau” and “siu mai”. And “pau” if you consider that as dim sum too. (0.5)
9. House is powered by fluorescent lights. (1)

Ah Beng: Score - 3 out of 8 = 37.5%

1. Built-in visual self-defense mechanism that keeps people away from them – Well, I think I look approachable. Strangers do tend to come at me sometimes, but still looking for that one hottie to sweep me off my feet *laugh* (1/3)
2. Erm… me BMX cannot fit any speakers (0)
3. Yeah, hair not in original color anymore. Heck, even my new grown hair isn’t pure black anymore (1)
4. Volume of voice is automatically five decibels higher than everyone else – Yeah, voice do tend to get higher as I speak but that was last time, now better (0.5)
5. Never use the phrase "Kan Ni Na Bu Ciao Chee Bai" ever. Most frequent usage of swear words are “fuck” in English and Cantonese and penis in Cantonese *laugh* (0.5)
6. Used to like Vengaboys and Dr Bombay. Still like Aqua but never liked Cheeky Girls (2/3)
7. Erm… does a modified BMX counts? (0)
8. Me no ah lian, so it doesn’t applies (0)

The conclusion, I am 35.44% of a Regular, 32.91% of a Cina and 31.64% of an Ah Beng. But I am not sure if I should be happy because I am so diversified or sad because I am 1/3 of an ah beng *laugh*