Little Johnny has a swearing problem and his father has had enough, so he decides to go to a shrink to solve the problem. He asks the shrink: "My son has a problem with foul language, can you suggest anything?"

The shrink replies, "Well Christmas is coming up, so I say leave a pile of dog poop instead of what he really wants."

The father gets home and Johnny says to him, "When I wake up on Christmas, I want to wake up to a god damn teddy bear. When I go downstairs, I want to see a god damn train circling the god damn tree. And when I go outside, I want to see a god damn bicycle leaning against the god damn garage."

Christmas morning arrives. Johnny wakes up and rolls over a pile of dog poop. Confused, he goes downstairs and sees a big pile of dog poop under the tree. He then goes to look outside and sees another pile of dog poop next to the garage.

The father goes downstairs and asks, "So, what'd Santa leave you?"

Johnny responds, "I think I got a god damn dog but I can't find the son of a b*tch!"