Most of people are afraid when it comes to a word called 'Change'. To change their way of life after so many years is kind of hard for some people.. especially when they are already in the comfort zone. To some, uncertainties are often associated with change.. making it harder for people to change.

When I was in college, I had a subject call Business Process Reengineering. It’s about reengineering the business processes (obviously). One of the biggest obstacles for the reengineering process was the reluctance to change from the executives and employees.

The subject taught us that, in order for the whole reengineering process to work, you have to convince the employees/executives that the change is for the best. Some employees will object and refuse because the change may be good for the company in whole but it’s harmful to the welfare of the affected employees, namely the people who rejected the change in the first place.

Change is easy if you know where you’ll end up in the end but hard if you are not sure how it’s going to affect you. And if someone is happy with the way they already are, would they want to change? I doubt it. Unless you can guarantee that after the change they will be much happier, I don’t think anyone will take what others say seriously. People change when they are suffering; people change when they are miserable. But people do not change when they are happy or when they are content. Unless there is a reason to change and a reason worth changing, not many will take a chance on change. To some extent, changing away from what a person used to believe is an admission of mistake/wrong. In other words, for a person to change, he first has to acknowledge that he was wrong all along. But some (most?) people’s ego will not allow such admission as it would be seen as a sign of weakness (or at least that’s what they think). Until you can accept the fact that you have been doing the wrong things all along, it is impossible for you to change. Before you can fix your flaws, you have to own up to it first.

And the truth is, no one in the world can change anyone except for the person itself. You can tell a person how life can be better if s/he would just take a change but ultimately, it’s still the person’s decision whether s/he wants to change or not. No matter what you tell the person, in the end, it’s up to his own interpretation if such change is good or not. What you think is good for a person...; the person might not share the same thought as yours. All you can do is to voice your opinion, tell them what you think and leave it for them to decide whether they want to take your advice and do something with it.

As long as you are happy, do whatever you want. We learn as we grow, that’s the nature’s way of survival. They who doesn’t learn as they grow, then it’s their choice. Let them burn and hopefully, they’ll learn what’s best for them. We all learn the hard way.

Some people do not take advice. They have such big ego that they think they are better than everyone. They believe what they do is the right thing and everything else is wrong. People like this will only change after they have been burned. But those who keep on doing the same thing even after getting burned… well, they deserve it.

This is an excerpt from an episode of Lost.

Locke: "What do you suppose is in that cocoon, Charlie?"
Charlie: "I don't know, a-a butterfly, I guess?"
Locke: "No, it's much more beautiful than that. That's a moth cocoon. It's ironic butterflies get all the attention, but moths spin silk. They're stronger, they're faster"
Charlie: "That's wonderful, but"
Locke (pointing at the cocoon): You see this little hole? This moth's just about to emerge. It's in there right now, struggling; it's digging its way through the thick hide of the cocoon. Now, I could help it: take my knife, gently widen the opening, and the moth would be free. But it would be too weak to survive. Struggle is nature's way of strengthening it."

Sometimes, what may seem like an innocent sincere attempt to help a person might actually do more harm than good. There are times when we should help a person and there are times too when we should just stand back and watch them get-on on their own; even if it means seeing them making decisions that you know is a mistake. You don’t raise a child by wrapping him in cotton wools, you let him bounce around.

We all learn from scars. Tough love.