Most of people are afraid when it comes to a word called 'Change'. To change their way of life after so many years is kind of hard for some people.. especially when they are already in the comfort zone. To some, uncertainties are often associated with change.. making it harder for people to change.

When I was in college, I had a subject call Business Process Reengineering. It’s about reengineering the business processes (obviously). One of the biggest obstacles for the reengineering process was the reluctance to change from the executives and employees.

The subject taught us that, in order for the whole reengineering process to work, you have to convince the employees/executives that the change is for the best. Some employees will object and refuse because the change may be good for the company in whole but it’s harmful to the welfare of the affected employees, namely the people who rejected the change in the first place.

Change is easy if you know where you’ll end up in the end but hard if you are not sure how it’s going to affect you. And if someone is happy with the way they already are, would they want to change? I doubt it. Unless you can guarantee that after the change they will be much happier, I don’t think anyone will take what others say seriously. People change when they are suffering; people change when they are miserable. But people do not change when they are happy or when they are content. Unless there is a reason to change and a reason worth changing, not many will take a chance on change. To some extent, changing away from what a person used to believe is an admission of mistake/wrong. In other words, for a person to change, he first has to acknowledge that he was wrong all along. But some (most?) people’s ego will not allow such admission as it would be seen as a sign of weakness (or at least that’s what they think). Until you can accept the fact that you have been doing the wrong things all along, it is impossible for you to change. Before you can fix your flaws, you have to own up to it first.

And the truth is, no one in the world can change anyone except for the person itself. You can tell a person how life can be better if s/he would just take a change but ultimately, it’s still the person’s decision whether s/he wants to change or not. No matter what you tell the person, in the end, it’s up to his own interpretation if such change is good or not. What you think is good for a person...; the person might not share the same thought as yours. All you can do is to voice your opinion, tell them what you think and leave it for them to decide whether they want to take your advice and do something with it.

As long as you are happy, do whatever you want. We learn as we grow, that’s the nature’s way of survival. They who doesn’t learn as they grow, then it’s their choice. Let them burn and hopefully, they’ll learn what’s best for them. We all learn the hard way.

Some people do not take advice. They have such big ego that they think they are better than everyone. They believe what they do is the right thing and everything else is wrong. People like this will only change after they have been burned. But those who keep on doing the same thing even after getting burned… well, they deserve it.

This is an excerpt from an episode of Lost.

Locke: "What do you suppose is in that cocoon, Charlie?"
Charlie: "I don't know, a-a butterfly, I guess?"
Locke: "No, it's much more beautiful than that. That's a moth cocoon. It's ironic butterflies get all the attention, but moths spin silk. They're stronger, they're faster"
Charlie: "That's wonderful, but"
Locke (pointing at the cocoon): You see this little hole? This moth's just about to emerge. It's in there right now, struggling; it's digging its way through the thick hide of the cocoon. Now, I could help it: take my knife, gently widen the opening, and the moth would be free. But it would be too weak to survive. Struggle is nature's way of strengthening it."

Sometimes, what may seem like an innocent sincere attempt to help a person might actually do more harm than good. There are times when we should help a person and there are times too when we should just stand back and watch them get-on on their own; even if it means seeing them making decisions that you know is a mistake. You don’t raise a child by wrapping him in cotton wools, you let him bounce around.

We all learn from scars. Tough love.

hmmm.. let me predict some part of the phsycology game here...
at some stage, people tend to stay alone yet need to gain some attention.. it is not really alone wannabe... it is just too tired with same old thing.. it need something new and fresh to provoke its interest to create a brand new smile. just like a little kitty that found itself a brand new basket to lay itself, it will stay away from its home for awhile. after sometime, when it recall the old place, it will eventually try its best to walk all the way back just to drop by. after a short drop by, it will walk further distance to get another new basket again to lay itself for another time. because there's always another basket that makes it feel attracted and afraid no more with the human around it. sometimes it will wanna stay away from human, sometimes it wanted to stick to brand new and interesting human. so can be say lonely kitty wannabe, at the same time love attention when it wink wink its tail...wavy groovy... bleh~~~
happy days ahead..

You know what, I smiled while reading this. It’s funny that you used kitty as the protagonist here. To a certain extent in a psychological level, women are very much similar to kitties.

Women love excitement. They love something interesting. The reason why this kitty of yours never stay put is because she needs excitement, something fresh, something new. And like all women who think/know that she is beautiful, she will never have to worry about anything because she knows there’s always another "basket" just around the corner. Even if the basket is interesting at first, but if the basket keeps staying the same, eventually, the kitty will find it boring and will walk out to look for a new and more interesting basket. Pretty much like women if you ask me. If everything becomes a routine, sooner rather than later, she will just be on the lookout for another "basket". Routine and boring stuffs do not create emotions, and we all know women can't live without fulfilling their emotional needs. Ever wonder why women prefer to watch soap operas with alot of tears instead of investigative shows that have cars blowing up? Ever wonder how a woman can go to the cinema NINE times to watch Titanic? And that movie is 3 hours long.

Kitties are different. If you try to get a kitty to come and sit on your lap by tapping your lap (to signal to the kitty), she will not come to you. But if you act like you do not care and continue watching the papers, eventually, she will slowly sneak up to you and sit nicely on your lap. Kitties and women love attention, but when they get it, they act snobbish. But if you don’t care for them, they will in turn try to get your attention instead. That is why guys who try too hard will hardly get a girl but instead, those who hardly try will usually get the girl. Women want a guy who doesn’t want her and they do not want a guy who wants her. Makes no sense, but that is women in general. But it actually makes sense if you see into the psychological structure of a woman. They way women and men think are totally different. Men expect women to think like them and women expect men to think like them. It’s a no win. So, the moral of the story is; get a cat and practice on the kitty. There's a reason why alot of guys hate kitties and why women seem to prefer kitties in general.

When a man says he wants to be alone, he really means he wants to be alone. But when a woman says she wants to be alone, only God knows what she really means. If a woman says she wants to be alone and the guy say "ok, I’ll leave you alone" and then the girl will think "he doesn’t care for me" or "you stupid ass, I ask you to leave me alone and you REALLY leave me alone. If I ask you to jump of KLCC, then you really going to jump izzit??!?!?!" Hehe, this is fun.

And you have a happy weekend too :)

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still hvnt finish writing bout women eh?

Well, I’m not sure who you are but if you are someone who had known me for a while, then you should know that I’ll never be finish writing about women :)

It’s like an interest of some sort. Some people love to talk about cars and some women love to talk about fashion. But me, I love to write about women. They are interesting, intriguing and fascinating. There are times when they are lovely, sensitive and adorable but yet sometimes they can be a pain in the ass.

It’s like eating Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa in Kampung Baru. It’s hot like heck but it’s tasty like heck too. You know that the more you eat, the hotter it’ll get but you just can’t stop yourself from eating coz it’s just so tasty. Just like women, they can drive you crazy but life is not as exciting as when it is with women around.

Will I ever stop writing about women? Sure, when I turn gay. Well, someone actually believed I was gay once. Haha. But will I ever turn gay? I don’t think so. Between the ladies and the guys, I’d take the ladies in a heartbeat.

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Robert Frost: Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both,
And be one traveler, long I stood,
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as far for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh! I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

Nice. I posted this poem in this blog a while ago. One of my favorite. And you got good taste there ;)

By: Ben Harper [But the one sang by Blind Boys of Alabama sounds much nicer]

Battered and torn
Still I can see the light
Tattered and worn
But I must kneel to fight

Friend of mine
What can’t you spare?
I know some times
It gets cold in there

When my legs no longer carry
And the warm wind chills my bones
I reach for Mother Mary
And I shall not walk alone

Hope is alive
While we're apart
Only tears
Speak from my heart
Break the chains
That hold us down
And we shall be
Forever bound

When I'm tired and weary
And a long way from home
I reach for Mother Mary
And I shall not walk alone

Beauty that
We left behind
How shall we
Tomorrow find

Set aside
Our weight in sin
So that we
Can live again

This is a quick one. Just finished watching the first episode of Lost, a TV series and I really have to say this. It is one of the best show that I've seen in a long long time. It is the kinda show that will make you stick ur butt on the seat and watch for an hour without having the need to go to the bathroom. I mean, even if you have to go to the bathroom, you'll rather wait till the show finishes first. And you will not even feel that an hour has just passed by.

Ok, now me back to the second episode.

Sex and the City – Season 1 @ Episode 2 - Models and Mortals

[These are quotes from the episode. In bracket and bold = yours truly, everything else = the quotes. The reason why i skipped the first/pilot episode is because I lazy wanna watch again. And btw, in this episode, you can actually see nipples and the sound of women moaning while doing it. And they do use alot of the F-word. We need shows like this in this country]

Modelizers are a particular breed. They're a step beyond womanizers... who will sleep with just about anything in a skirt. Modelizers are obsessed not with women, but with models... [What do they call guys who are obsessed with pretty looking girls in general? Shallow? Or a facializer? But I do know men who would practically sleep with anything in a skirt. There is womanizer but why isn’t there "manizer?"]

As if we didn't have enough problems. – [Carrie complaining that models are a problem for regular women to get men. Can’t really blame her for complaining. Models do set a high standard for regular women to follow. We men are often being bombarded with images of girls in perfect body with the most gorgeous looking face. So it’s not really a man’s fault to be wanting for a beautiful girl. Look at all those ads that say a girl can lose 80 inches in one week, or gel that can make your breast go up 3 cup sizes in 3 days, or make up powder that will gives you flawless skin. It gives men the impression that, ALL women can look pretty with little effort. So if you think men are being impossible for wanting women to always look beautiful as a model, then go blame the media and ask them to stop promoting impossible standard of beauty. And until that day, I still want a good face]

They're (models) stupid and lazy and should be shot on sight. [I forgot who said this]

The advantages given to models and to beautiful women in general... are so unfair, it makes me puke. Cute doesn't cut it in this town. What's cute compared to supermodel? [This is really true. Beautiful women really have it made in this world. But there are still those who would go for cute girls. Those who think that they do not stand a chance with a supermodel. Men got to be sensible sometimes. If he thinks he can’t get a supermodel, then he got to change his preference. If a guy knows he can go for a supermodel, will he settle with a cute one? Of coz not. But one thing that most guys do not know is that, looks in general does not carry much weigh with women. Ugly man can still get beautiful women. Sure supermodels won’t go long term with a below-average looking guy and no money but if he excels in certain other areas, he might just get laid for the night. And what more can a guy like that ask for than having the bragging right to saying "I f**ked a supermodel". Priceless ;)]

What I wanna know is... when did all the men get together and decide... that they would only get it up for giraffes with big breasts? [Men decides that when they first saw a giraffe with big breast. Don’t blame men for being shallow and wants long legs and big breast. You women are the one who proved to us men that it is possible for a woman to have a body figure like Barbie]

We should just admit that we live in a culture... that promotes impossible standards of beauty. Except men think they're possible. [Yeah, I really have to agree with this. Like I said earlier, we men really think that women being beautiful are no hard work. Women have all sorts of stuffs to make them beautiful. And who promotes those impossible standards of beauty in the first place anyway? Women did. So men are not being shallow here, we are just being realistic. I mean if those ads can make it look so easy to be beautiful, then it shouldn't be a problem, right? Hehe]

[And from my observation in the discussion about models between this 4 girls, I think it’s safe to say that, all women in this world has got at least one thing that they hate about themselves physically]

If models could cause otherwise rational individuals... to crumble in their presence, exactly how powerful was beauty? [Very powerful. Beauty can trigger a man’s imagination. And depending on what kinda imagination, it can release a wave of liquid fire of lust or medically, we call it testosterone. And testosterone is known to cause men to stop thinking rationally. And when men are not thinking rationally… things happen]

There are two types of guys that fall for beautiful women. Either they're slime-balls that are just out to get laid... or they fall in love with you instantly. It's pathetic. [TRUE!!! But i wouldn’t call it love thou, infatuation or obsession maybe. But I do confess that, before the age of 21, whenever I see a pretty lady, in my mind, it’s either I wanna jump in bed with her or I am totally in love with her at first sight]

A modelizer: Why f**k the girl in the skirt... if you can f**k the girl in the ad for the skirt?

A model: Being beautiful is such a power. You can get whatever you want. [And nothing is truer than that. Beauty is like a recyclable blank cheque. You just got to know which bank to cash it and you can cash it again and again until the bank runs out of money and at which point, you find another bank]

It's not like models don't have brains. They have them. They just don't need to use them. Most guys just think you're dumb, but I'm really very literary. I read. I'll sit down and read a whole magazine from cover to cover. [I like this one. Funny]

My friends think I'm shallow. Sometimes I think they're right. Other times I think, "Hey, I'm f**king a model." [Yeah, if you are sleeping with a model, do you mind what other thinks of you? I don’t think so]

Carrie: She (Samantha) was one of the only people I knew who thought that proximity to beauty...made her feel more attractive. [But amazingly, in this country… every time I see a bunch of girls together, there will always be 1 pretty girl surrounded by a few not-so-pretty girls. I hardly see a group of girls where they are all gorgeous]

Carrie: I thought I had come to terms with my looks the year I turned 30... when I realized that I no longer had the energy to be completely superficial. [So if you want to find a wife, take your pick from the 28 and above. Biologically and psychologically, women below the age of 28 are not yet ready for marriage. You want a marriage that last, not a marriage that ends in dumps]

A modelizer: It's amazing what you'll do to be with these models. I've gotta retire soon. They keep me from getting work done, they make me f**k up my life. Look at me! I'm an old man at 34. [He did look like crap when he say that. And he is not even that good looking]

Mr. Big: But I've been thinking about your article about men who date models.

Carrie: What about them?

Mr. Big: First of all, there are so many goddamn gorgeous women in this city.

Carrie: What an amazing observation.

Mr. Big: But the thing is this. After a while... you just wanna be with the one that makes you laugh. Know what I mean? [At the end of the day, pretty face is common. Sure we men want someone who looks good but ultimately, we just want someone who can make us laugh, someone with a good heart, someone with substance and not just all superficial. And nicely put by Mr. Big]

[We want a model who is a mortal]

I take back my words when I say Green Day’s performance was the best at the 47th Grammy. It was actually the tribute performance for Janis Joplin performed by Joss Stone and Melissa Etheridge singing Cry Baby and Piece of My Heart that was the best. Green Day stands second but still they rock.

Joss Stone sang Cry Baby and Melissa sang Piece of My Heart (this is a song for women and it’s really good). I know Joss is only 17 but I am not sure who she is or what kind of connections she has got. During the 47th Grammy, she got to do a tribute to Janis Joplin with the respected Melissa Etheridge. And at the Brits Awards 2005, she got to sing duet with Robbie Williams singing Angels. And by the way, Robbie Williams’s Angels was voted the best song for the past 25 years in Britain.

Joss can sing, that’s for sure and with a unique voice too. And she is one lucky girl. Lucky because she got to sing with Robbie. And not just any songs, she got to sing Angels! And for some strange reasons, Joss prefers to sing barefooted. She didn't wear any shoes at the Grammy and she took off her heels in the middle of singing at the Brits Awards.

Btw, Jessica Simpson’s rendition of Angels sucks big time! She butchered the song! And she’s ugly. And Nick should divorce her. And her father is a pervert. What kind of father who would say this about her own daughter, "She just is sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she's sexy in both. She's got double Ds! You can't cover those suckers up!"

[This is one of the letters featured in "Dear Thelma" on last Sunday’s The Star newspaper. Was actually planning to post this on Monday but had to postpone it because of Green Day and Avril]

[Bold and bracket = me, yours truly. Everything else = the letter]

I have been dating A for more than a year. He is very kind and treats me well. I know he loves and cares for me but the only thing is, he is not telling the truth about himself. [How the heck is he treating you well when he is lying to you? How can he be a kind person if he lies? If he really loves and cares for you, would he had lie to you? Ask yourself, will you lie to the one you love and care? Stop making excuses for yourself. He may care and love you but NOT ENOUGH to actually tell you the truth about himself. What good is a guy like him? No good... except as crocodile food (it rhymes)]

After eight months of our relationship, he told me that he was actually younger than me. [For all that 8 months, you have been living with a lie. He looks at you everyday for 8 months consciously knowing that he is lying to you. I don’t think he care that much for you if he can lie to your face for 8 months and still able to live with it]

It does not matter to me whether he is younger or not, but the fact is that he cheated me. He also lied about where he lived and his parents’ occupation. [The fact is, you have been with a make-belief guy. He is not the guy that you think you are in love with. You are in love with a guy that was made up. Yeah, you got cheated and he cheated on you. And what did you just said earlier? Something about "he loves and cares for you?" Well, I think it’s not too much for me to suggest that he could most probably had cheated too when he says he loves you. Bummer]

Recently, I saw his resume and found out that he had no diploma, just a certificate. All this while, he told me he had a diploma. [I wonder why the heck didn’t he just tell you that he had a master degree or something like that. At least that would sound better than a diploma. He is a liar and he is a very un-ambitious liar. It’s bad enough to be a liar but to be an un-ambitious liar, now that’s really bad]

He said he was so sorry and promised not to tell lies again. The reason why he did this was that he was ashamed of himself. [If you had really believed that he is sorry and will never tell lies again, you wouldn’t have written this letter. You know you can’t trust him anymore even if you want to. There is no salvation left for the both of you. Cut it loose. And tell me, do you want a guy who is ashamed to be who he is? A guy who got no self-worth and self-appreciation that he would rather make up stories about himself and be someone that he is not? Why the heck do you still want him? And if you tell me "it’s because I love him" then I’m going to slap you (kidding). But I’ll tell you why at the end of this]

Sometimes, I blame myself because the difference between us makes him feel ashamed of himself. I come from a well-educated and established family. [Girl, you are suffering from low self-esteem right now. My guess is that you weren’t like this before but you got this way only after you have been with him. This liar boyfriend of yours is knocking your self-esteem down. Why would you blame yourself just because he is ashamed of himself? And the sad thing is, you are from a well-educated and established family but you are behaving like you are from a broken home. You have a guy that only makes you feel bad about yourself. If you are to continue with such mental thought, then the both of you will make a perfect match. A perfect match made in screwed-up heaven]

I persuaded him to continue his studies because, without a degree, we can’t get married, and I really love him with all my heart. [Are you on some kind of drugs? And you know drugs are bad, right? You want to get married to a guy who lie, a guy who has low self-esteem, a guy who is ashamed of himself, a guy who does not appreciate who he is, a guy who is ashamed of his own parents?!?!?!?!?!?! What kind of husband is he going to be? And above all, what kind of father will he be? You do not love him with all your heart; you have got freaking low self-esteem that you do not think you will get anyone better. But the truth is, you CAN get someone better]

I really don’t know what I should do to make him tell the truth. What have I done wrong? [For crying out loud and for my love of chocolate, you did nothing wrong! The only thing that you are doing wrong now is actually still being with him. This is not love. You have been with him for more than a year, and you got to know that he is younger than you after 8 months (the first big lie, I’m sure there are countless other lies in between). My guess is, on the 9th month, you found out he lied about where he lived. On the 10th month, you found out that he lied about his parents. On the 11th month, you saw his resume and you got to know his is an un-ambitious liar. And now after more than a year, you write this letter. It is obvious that deep down, you know that he is not going to stop lying. Otherwise, why would you write this letter? Stop lying to yourself, this guy is not going to change. His self-esteem is so low that he can’t be saved. He hates being himself, and "--HOW IN THE WORLD CAN HE LOVE YOU WHEN HE DOESN’T EVEN LOVE HIMSELF?--" Wake up girl, you are well-educated, and you have a loving family. Why do you want a piece of crap like him? (I have a creepy feeling that I am talking like a girl right now *shiver*)]

[One possible reason why you still want him is because like all women, you like changing a guy. A broken, hopeless guy that you want to turn into a good one. If you watch Sex and the City, you will know that, even Carrie Bradshaw says that you can never change a man. So stop hoping that he will change because HE WILL NOT CHANGE. He WILL ONLY CONTINUE TO LIE]

[Another possible reason is that, you have low self-esteem and self-worth. Only a low self-esteem woman will stay with a guy like him. How much you rate him is how you rate yourself. He is a worthless-un-ambitious-liar and you want him, so what does that makes you? A girl who wants a worthless-un-ambitious-liar to be her husband, that’s what you are right now. To be honest, you are actually degrading yourself by still wanting to be with him. Love is not blind and love is not stupid. We are the one who are blind and stupid. We use love to justify everything, bad and good. Love in its own right is a good thing. Love is a chemical biological human body reaction that gives us the sensation of warmth, serenity, happiness, euphoria and bliss. It’s not supposed to induce misery and suffering. Love does not hurt. But when you say love hurts, you are giving love a bad name. When you are happy, that’s love. When you are sad, that’s love taking a crap. When you are sad for an extended period, that’s a sign that love is having a serious crap problem and you should go see a doctor fast. *WARNING: Caffeine Overdose. I actually impressed myself with what I’ve just wrote. Haha*]

[And ask yourself; will your parents be happy for you if they know the guy you are with is such a worthless-liar? Don’t do this for yourself, do this for your family, for the people you love and those who love you. Will they be happy for you or will they be sad for you? And do you want them to be sad for you? I am sure you can find someone better, so why do you want to keep on suffering in a misery that you truly do not deserve]

[This guy is not worth it. He is not what you want. You are not going to be happy with him. And there is no future for the both of you. And don’t even think about getting married and having kids. It’s bad enough that you are suffering right now, so do not put your kids thru the misery. They do not deserve it. If you really want to get married with him, promise that you’ll never have any kids, not even adopted ones. Just go get a cat. No dogs. Dogs deserve better. Or better still, go get a chimpanzee]

[I know I shouldn’t have bothered about this. But once in a while, it’s good to give some charity advice. It’s good for the soul and for my blood pressure. Btw, me not going to send this. I know what I wrote here is a little too harsh (me still learning how to be tactful, but me is slow learner so what to do ... sigh), so perhaps letting her burn is the best way to go. And I can move on writing silly advice like this when I feel charitable ;)]

I used to not like her because she dissed Christina once (and Britney too). But then slowly she starts to grow on me. And she can really sing live. This was her performance at the Tonight Show with Jay Leno with her song "Nobody's Home".

This is Avril's best look ever. I have always had a thing for women with this style of hair. They just look really really nice. Alexa Vega once had this style too and she is gorgeous! And Avril's eyes too. I really like those eyes. Not because her eyes are special or anything but the black mascara is REALLY cool. For some strange reasons, I kinda really have a thing for defined eyes. No matter how a girl puts her make up on, as long as she knows how to "highlight" her eyes, it'd be good enough.

Avril has my admiration because for one she can really sing live (at least to me) and she can plays the guitar and sing at the same time. Something like Michelle Branch. If Michelle is to get slighty thinner, she would be darn gorgeous. She has a little of an oriental look in her.

Enjoy.

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That's a hottie right there! Now the problem is to find a local version of her.

They won the best modern rock album of the year. And got nominated for a total of 7 Grammies. Now that’s something for a punk rock band. And take into consideration that the title of their album is "American Idiot". Try doing that in this country. Btw, the quality of the capture is not really that good because I have to turn off the video acceleration or otherwise, I can't capture anything.

To be honest, Green Day should have won the best album of the year or at least they should have won more than just one Grammy. The reason being is that the album was too political. It's actually really good, but it's a victim of the very state of affairs the band is bitching about. Imagine the whining from the right if an album called "American Idiot" made a huge Grammy impact. The nominations were as far as they would dare go. The one that Green Day actually won was a gimme. And the fact that Ray Charles had passed away and as we all know, all this award ceremony people like to give award to people who have passed away.

I still strongly believe American Idiot should have won album of the year and record of the year. American Idiot was by far the best album I listened to this year. Musically and lyrically outstanding. Punk grows up.

Record of the Year:
"Let's Get It Started" - The Black Eyed Peas
"Here We Go Again" - Ray Charles and Norah Jones (the winner)
"American Idiot" - Green Day
"Heaven" - Los Lonely Boys
"Yeah!" - Usher featuring Lil Jon and Ludacris

Ray Charles won because he got sympathy votes. Black Eyed Pea do not stand a chance. Los Lonely Boys are ok but still not good enough to make an impact. As for Usher, well... all this hip hop stuffs really need to stop. There is no originality and creativity in hip hop and rap. They can't sing, most of them can't play an instrument, and the vast majority don't even know how to read sheet music.

Album of the Year:
"Genius Loves Company" - Ray Charles and Various Artists (the winner)
"American Idiot" - Green Day
"The Diary of Alicia Keys" - Alicia Keys
"Confessions" - Usher
"The College Dropout" - Kanye West

4 R&B/Hip Hop/Blues up against Punk Rock. 4 black people up against a group of white punks. People who nominated Green Day for this category knows that Green Day should have won hands down. They could have just nominate another black R&B singer for this category and take out Green Day. If it wasn't for the political constraint and the fact that Ray Charles passed away, this award should have gone to Green Day. American Idiot made an impact more and bigger than anyone else. The originality in it is impressive to say the least. Jesus of Suburbia, the 2nd track in the album is a PHENOMENAL experimental-5-sub-songs-9-minutes track that will blow you away. American Idiot is a rock opera!!!

I'm not being biased because I love Green Day but you can't go wrong when even the masses are agreeing with me that Green Day should have won. Green Day beat each and everyone of them on the Billboard Top 200 Album list week in and week out.

Green Day lost 3 awards to U2 and 2 awards to Ray Charles and another one is a producer's award. And since when U2 is a rock band!??!? I am pretty sure that U2 won because 1. "American Idiot" could not be allowed to make an impact for the fear of repercussion from the "politically correct" and 2. for the fact that Bono from U2 is a Goodwill ambassador (whatever) for some international body (can't remember)

"My main problem with a lot of the other artists that are talking about politics is that they aren't declaring themselves as opposite to what they see," Armstrong says. "They're the equivalent of moderate candidates." [Enough said. They all talk the talk but never walk the walk]

Their second single "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" has been No.1 on the Billboard Modern Rock chart for 18 out of 19 weeks (and currently standing at No.3 in the Billboard Top 200). And their album "American Idiot" has been on the top 10 of the Billboard Top 200 Album list for as long as I can remember (Currently standing at no 3). And it's a Punk Rock album!!, not some hip-hop or rap crap.

And at the time of writing this, the closest to Green Day is Usher's Confession at No.10 where Green Day's American Idiot is at No.3 and Ray Charles's album is not even in the top 20. Green Day should have won, they truly do deserve it.


Far left: Their unofficial fourth member, Jason White.
In the middle (front): The man himself, Billie Joe Armstrong
In the middle (back): The wackiest one, well, most drummers are “abnormal”, Tre Cool
Far right: The baddest rock and roll bass player in the world, Mike Dirnt


At the end of the show.


Nice pyro


Split second capture right after the final big blast.


Another shot of the pyro scene.

Bottomline: Green Day should have swept the Grammies!

Btw, they got a standing ovation for this performance. And obviously the best Live performance at the 47th Annual Grammy.

[This is NOT mine. Someone else wrote it but me like it]

Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It's definitely the most annoying day of the year.

This day needs to get the hell over with and pass.
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass.
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week.

Guys act all sweet but soon it will fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Because I think love is a bunch of shit.

So there's my story... what can I say
Love bites ass... SCREW VALENTINE'S DAY!

[Written by a guy. Bracket and bold = me, everything else = the guy]

Women often talk about wanting a man who is "mature." Does that simply mean they are looking for an older man?

Now, what I'm about to say might sound a little weird, but go with me here. One of the problems I think us guys are facing is that we don't have good "role models" or good "mature guy friends" to help us learn how to be better men.

I think that most of us grow up but never learn how to be mature. One of the qualities that women are intensely attracted to is maturity in men.

If you ask a beautiful young woman what her biggest frustration is with men her age, she'll almost always respond with something like, "Men my age are so immature," or "Men my age are just stupid." [Women always stick to the fact that they reach puberty faster than men thus making them more mature. That is crap. Men and women think differently and that does not make one less mature than the other. If men with their "boys will always be boys" thingy make them immature then what makes women with their vanity? Naïve and immature? And not to mention vain?]

[Men and women behave differently thru certain age. Men in the early 20s are much more into fun and excitement with less commitment. It’s all about girls, alcohol, sports in the 20s and when they reach their early 30s, they start to think about having a family, a stable career that will put their kids thru college and stuffs like that. Women in general are more attracted to older guys because older guys give them a sense of stability, commitment, security and money (yeah, money)]

[Women on the other hand are pretty much the same. In their early 20s women care more about their looks than anything else. It’s all about the new trends, the new dress, new hairdo, the new lipstick, new LV bags, and new Prada limited edition crocodile leather shoes. But when they reach early 30s or late 20s, their good looks begin to diminish and they realize that they can no longer depends on their looks to get thru life thus making them more "reasonable" than when they were younger. Women who say that men their age are immature are very much immature themselves. Just because a man acts in a certain way that you do not fancy doesn’t mean he is immature. Just because I know something you don’t doesn’t mean you are stupid]

[Men are attracted to younger women only for one thing; their beauty and nothing else. Anyone who says that older men and younger women are a better match because their maturity level is more compatible is crap. "--Psychical maturity does not equal mental maturity--". The only reason why women are often with older men is because they complement each other with their needs. Women find stability and security (and money) from older men and older men get their ego boost for having a younger woman. It’s just that simple. All those maturity crap is just... well, plain crap]

[A simple scenario: let’s say you have a guy friend age 30 years old and you ask him to choose between a girl age 22 and another girl his age, 30. Both are decent looking meaning not ugly. Most guys would go for the girl age 22. And most of them would not even ask about the personality because men in general like to make snap judgment based on appearance. Pretty = sure, ugly = no. And also the fact that man and woman like to stereotype. If a girl is not married by the age of 30, then she must have some issues. This is not just male stereotype, even girls think the same. That is why men prefer to go for younger women]

Attractive young women who can have any guy they want are attracted to a particular set of qualities that are usually present in mature men. Sometimes these men are older, but not always.

[If all women were to think like one of my friends then the only girls that I’ll ever stand a chance are girls between the age of 17 and 20. To most people I’m pretty much a slack since I do not have a 9 to 5 job so I’m not going to say that I am mature nor am I immature. As a compromise, I am just different. The stereotype from society is just not right. And sometimes, it’s not just stereotype, it’s an excuse. Some women prefer older men not because of his maturity but because older men have got more money than younger ones. Are women going to say that they prefer older man because they have more money? Of course not, so they give you the whole maturity crap as a cover up. Remember; never take what women say at face value. There could be a possibility that they might be saying what they mean but most of the time; you just got to look deeper. Like I said earlier, younger women care a lot about their looks and to sustain their good looks and appearance, money is vital and younger men can’t provide such financial package. Women who really want a mature guy would never say they want older men or look exclusively for older men because they know they could very well find their mature guy in the form of a younger man]

[In my personal opinion, the best age for a girl to get married is at 28. And don’t stereotype against younger men. Just keep an open mind for possibility. You never know what you’ll get. 7 young immature ones doesn’t mean all young ones are immature. When I was 16, my teacher asked me at what age I want to get married. I said 25. And now I have 1 year and 10 months to get a wife. Haha]

[If it wasn’t for free always-available sex, do you think your guy would still want you? What do you have to offer other than your looks and what all women already have? What do you bring to the table? If you take off your face, your boobs and your ability to have sex, what else do you have? And are men attracted to those? Now you understand why men tend to cheat after marriage. Because you have nothing else to offer other than the superficial stuffs. As the year goes by, you are not looking as good as you used to and your "assets" start to run out of shape. And other than that, what else do you have? Sometimes it’s not entirely a guy’s fault if he strays but it’s always easier for you to blame a guy for everything]

Got this from a site.

I've got a little situation here. I've been dating Parker for three months now and things have been going fine except for this one phone conversation the other night that threw me for a loop. It revolved around her ex-boyfriend, who she still sees on a regular basis. (They run a business together.) Anyway, she wanted to know if I felt comfortable with that situation. The conversation then somehow shifted to the topic of cheating. She asked me how I felt about it, and whether I would ever take a girlfriend back if she cheated on me.

Well, I told her that I wouldn't think twice about ditching that person since I wouldn't want to be with someone who was a backstabber. Parker was very upset with this response. She then said that if I happened to cheat on her, she would take me back since she's a forgiving person, and that I should see the good in people like she does.

I sensed some anger in her tone when she asked if I believe that people can change. I told her that I wouldn't want to take on the task of changing anyone and that I'm not a therapist. This angered her further. She also said that things sometimes happen and that people make mistakes, especially under the influence of alcohol. Then I asked if she had done anything with her ex since we started dating, and her response was, "Tonight?" (Meaning as opposed to all the other nights!) I thought this was very strange. Then I asked if she still has feelings for this guy and she said that there are no sparks between them, but that she still finds him very attractive.

Then Parker confessed that her ex had asked her to stay over at his place about a week ago, but that he offered her his bed while he would sleep on the couch. To make the story a little more interesting, he said that he respects what she has with me and wouldn't put her in a position where she would have to say no to him. And oh, she said he's a very "physical" person.

Then she told me that she didn't sleep over at his house that night after all. I had a gut feeling that something happened between them and told her so. I requested some time to myself to think about all this and she began to cry, but she really didn't put up much of a fight after I basically accused her of being a cheater. But she told me that I took everything the wrong way because she just wanted to know how I felt about cheating. She then told me to take as much time as I needed.

I really like this story for there are things to learn here. First lesson, never take what women say at face value. On the surface, she seems to be just wanted to know how the guy felt about cheating but the truth is, she wants to set the guy up.

My theory is that, the girl Parker has cheated and felt "a little" guilty for it. When she asked that question she is laying a strategy to back herself up. If you ask a guy what does he thinks about cheating, you either get an answer of "I hate girls who cheat and I would never be with a girl who cheated on me" or "we all make mistakes and I’m willing to take another chance with her". If the guy says "I hate girls who cheat..." then the girl will going to argue that people make mistakes and that people can change (like what Parker did) and if the guy says "we all make mistakes..." then the guy is STUPID.

It’s a no win situation when a girl asks this kind of questions. If you say "we all make mistakes..." then you are lying to yourself. If you really mean that then you seriously have some big issues with your self-esteem. Cheat me once, shame on you. Cheat me twice shame on me. If she can cheat on you once, then she can cheat on you again. Why take a chance on a girl like her when you can go and find someone who would not cheat on you? You may love the girl so much to willing to take another chance on her after she cheated on you but ask yourself, is this the kind of girl you want to be with? A girl that you know might just cheat on you again and again and again and again (multiply that with infinity)

And if you say "I hate girls who cheat..." then you are making yourself seem insecure. Just like Parker and the rest of the women population, they will put you on defensive. They will say that you should "see the good in people like they do". They will try to make you feel like a bad person because you do not give people a second chance. Sure there are some people who deserve a second chance but in this case, there is no second chance. Relationship is based on trust, and once a trust is broken, it’s broken. Just like glass, once broken, it’s broken. No matter how you try to piece it back, there will still always be cracks and it’s just a matter of time before it shatters again. Why stay with a girl that you have to worry every night if she is going to cheat on you again when you can find a new one or perhaps a better girl.

Parker’s main agenda is trying to get the guy to say or agree with her that people make mistakes. If the guy agrees with this, then that means Parker is off the hook. Parker will then tell the guy that she "accidentally" cheated on him and there is NO WAY the guy can blame Parker or be mad at her because the guy has agreed with the notion that "we all make mistakes". Most of the time, women do not ask something serious like this for just the sake of asking. They have an agenda. Either they think you are cheating or they are cheating. Nothing else.

I personally believe that most women do not lie because they don’t like living with the emotional guilt. But then again, they can’t always tell the truth because sometimes telling the truth is not the best way to go (or because it’s not beneficial for them to do so). So women came up with a new language, a woman language. As long as they can justify the things they say, it’s not a lie and they won’t have any guilt.

Parker said she "did not sleep over at the guy’s place" and that is in woman language. In English, it means she left at 3 a.m. Parker asked "what do you think about cheating" and in English it means "I have cheated on you and before I tell you that I’ve cheated on you, I want you to tell me that you will forgive people who cheat. And when I finally tell you that I’ve cheated, you cannot be mad at me. And if you get mad at me, I’m going to turn the table on you and make YOU the BAD PERSON for LYING to me when you say you’ll forgive people who cheat". And in the end if such scenario happens, the guy would end up as the person who has to apologize and not the girl. Yeah, girls are really smart and men are idiots.

Never take what women say at face value. If you think something is wrong then something is definitely wrong. If you sense that there is more than what it seems to be then chances are, there is definitely something more.

In the philosophy of balance, yin and yang, we all have both masculine and feminine sides. In man, masculine is more dominant whereas in women it’s the feminine side. The reason why women’s "sixth sense" and instinct are so accurate is because of the feminine side. Women have the ability to sense things. If a guy is acting like someone he’s not, women know that. If a guy is lack of confidence but act like he’s full of confidence, a woman can see right thru it. If a guy is intimidated but acts cool, a woman can "smell" his fear. If a man has an agenda (trying to get her into bed), women know it before he even utters a word. That is why women are good manipulator because their instincts are so good.

Men could actually have such instincts too but because most men are so full of male ego, it in turn suppressed their feminine side. If you look at guys who are a total gentleman, you can somehow feel that there is a little feminine side to him. Guys like these are different than most guys because they have a mix of masculinity and femininity whereas most guys are just full of masculinity. I said this before, act like a "sissy" at the right time and you’ll score big points with the girls. You can’t act manly all the time; there are times where you got to act a little "unmanly". Not saying that you should cry watching Titanic but... you know what I mean.

I haven’t really got the book yet but there’s an article based this particular book in this month’s CLEO. The book I’m talking about is the infamous "He’s just not that into you". After I finished reading this article, I couldn’t help but to feel that women do not really play fair. In fact, they don’t. Life lesson no.7: women never fight fair.

In brackets and bold = the article, everything else = yours truly.

This is the excerpt from the article.
[Why didn’t he ask you out on a second date? These sad little words have littered conversations among women across the globe. Well now come the definite answer: He’s. Just. Not. That. Into. You. Simple. Hard to hear, I know. But it’s he truth and surely we can handle the truth, we say. If only he’d say what he really thinks? But you see, he’s saying it. By not making any contact with you, could his message be any clearer?]

Two words come to mind after I finished this paragraph. Double standard. This is EXACTLY the same with women who are not that into a man. They never tell it to the guy face to face but instead, women expect us men to read their "signs" and just "get it". And now they expect men to tell them what he really thinks when women are not doing it themselves? One thing I’ve learn with women is, never take what they say at face value. Sure you can take what they said and take it to court and still win but other than that, you will never, and I say NEVER, going to win if you take what a woman says at face value (me not applying this in general, but more specifically to certain context when dealing with women). Women will say anything as long as she feels that it is the right things to say at that moment, and it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. Women are emotional beings, and judgments are not best made with emotions. Women have no problem "lying" if they FEEL that it’s the right thing to do. As long as they have a "REASON" to justify it.

Women have their own language. When we man say no, we mean no. But when a woman says no, it means something else.

[... I wished guys would stop playing games and tell me the truth. Turns out, they were telling the truth all along. I just didn’t want to hear it]

Honestly, I get a feeling that this guy (writer of the book) has been reading some of stuffs that I’ve been reading. This is exactly the same thing being said about women. It’s like he took stuffs that were actually meant for guys and used it for women. That is why I wasn’t really that eager to get the book coz from the review, it’s practically what I’ve already know. The difference here is that, it’s for women instead for men.

The article and the book also said that men do not appreciate being chase and they like to do the chasing. Very true. I think I’ve touched on this in one of my previous post. Some guys say that they like being chased but they don’t really mean what they say. I agree with this but the book doesn’t really explain why men say they like to be chased but doesn’t really mean it. I got an explanation on this but I don’t have enough motivation to actually write it all out. Ask me out and maybe we’ll talk it over coffee ;)

You really like a guy, but he doesn’t really like you to go out with your friends. He doesn’t like you going out late. He makes you change who you are. Sure you love him but ask yourself, is he the one you want to be with? The author made the exact same point I’ve known for years. It doesn’t really matter how much you love a person, we all know love is blind, but ask yourself rationally, is he the kinda guy that you really want to be with? Last time, I used to look at a pretty girl and my mind will go into overdrive and think how to get her and imagining how life would be with her. Even thou she might have some flaws, I still tell myself that I can live with it no matter how big is the flaw because I was SO smitten by her beauty (I was young then)

But now, it doesn’t matter how much I might have like her in the beginning or at first impression. The first question I ask is, does she have what it takes for me to be happy? Is this just for temporary fun or am I going to keep her for the long haul? Having a pretty girl besides me is one thing but having a pretty and with substance (and all those good face, brains, heart stuffs) lady is a whole new other world.

[Deep down in the psyche of most men, he’s the one who’s supposed to chase. And deep down in the psyche of most women, she’s the one who’s supposed to be chased] This in a psychological level is true. But holding on to this theory without understanding it doesn’t really make any difference. We all know women want a nice guy but they always fall for the bad boys. We know this for a fact but do you know why? If you know why, then you can make a difference. But if you do not know why, then be a bad boy and hopefully you’ll get a girl.

Another thing I like about this book is the issue about women making excused for themselves. Women are the kings and queens of making excuses for themselves. Period. If your self-esteem is dropping after you got into a relationship, trust me, you are with the wrong person. No matter how much you love him, he is not for you. But if you are with him not because of love or happiness but for some other reason (financial, convenience) then I pity you and the guy. Or perhaps people like this do deserve to be together. One wants to use, another is willing to be used. A match made in screwed-up heaven. Hehe.

I am coming to a conclusion; this book is actually based on stuffs that were meant for guys in the first place. The author ripped it and repackages it for the female audience. The similarity is too much for a coincidence. But the author just got the stuffs from the "mainstream" source.

But then again, women like to read and feel good for a while. And after that, they’ll go back to their old self. This practically means that everything I ever wrote is actually going to waste. I’ve stop trying to "save" others, I now let them burn in their own flame. But at least I know myself that I’ve tried. And that’s more than enough for me.

I like the book (not that I’ve actually read it yet) but I still think that it’s a rip-off. Maybe it’s a coincidence. I don’t know. And not to mention the double standard in it too. If you want a guy to be honest to you, do the same to him too. And don't give me that crap that you do not want to hurt his feelings by being honest and telling him the truth. Any girls who say they can't be honest because they are scared that it might hurt the guy's feelings is a girl full of crap. She is just taking the easy way out and that says alot about her personality and guys should be able to see that and just get over it. There are girls worth dying for and they are girls that do not even deserve a thought, not even a second.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

[He didn’t want you but someone some day soon will]

Happy Chinese New Year. May everyone of you have a good year.

Ying Yang is balance of everything, one can't exist without another. Young cannot exist without old. How would u know it's young with there is no old age?

By nature, when a baby is born, can you tell he/she has a good heart or rotten heart? What then determine the permanent lable of the heart if it wasn't a choice he/she made?

I got a feeling that you did not read what I wrote in respond to the first “yin yang” post. Or maybe you just glanced thru it. I’ve said that yin and yang is only a philosophy of balance. If there is white, then there has to be black. If there is young, then there has to be old. But it doesn’t mean it can be applied to everything. You are growing old now by the minutes, so the question is, can you go in reverse and grow back young?

When a baby is born, he/she has a clean heart. Good or rotten, it all depends on the choice he/she made. I agree to some extent. But let me ask you something. Before you were old enough to make any decision, who made all the decisions for you? Who decides what you should eat? Who decides which school you go to? Who decides what you should do and what you shouldn’t do? Obviously your guardians. I am not saying that one shouldn’t be held responsible for how one turns out to be but social conditioning at the early stage plays a crucial role.

The choice a person makes determine the kinda heart he/she has. This could be true. But have you ever wonder why they make the decision they make? Why some people feel no guilt throwing rubbish on the streets and why some people can’t even do something without asking for permission? It’s easy for you to judge a person based on the choice they make, but have you ever ask yourself why they make such choices? Could their upbringing be a factor? Could the friends they have be a factor? If a baby throws his food all over the place, does this make him a bad baby with a rotten heart? Are you going to judge this baby by the choice he made since you say that a choice made determines the permanent label of the heart?

A person’s heart, be it good or rotten is usually set at an early age. If you have good parents or guardians, chances are, you will grow up with a good heart. If you have bad parents, then chances are you will grow up with a rotten heart. We are all born with a clean slate (although there is genetic inheritance in some cases). If you have bad friends, chances are you will grow up with bad attitude and likewise. Like I said before, you are who you surround yourself with.

To some extent, we are a product of our environment. There is a distinct difference between girls from an all girl’s school and a coed school. And same goes with the boys.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

people only choose to hear what they want to hear. people are good at surviving and protecting themselves from harm/hurtful feelings. And there is a big difference between "live with it" and "survive with it".

I agree with this. We all live in our own delusions. I have my delusions and you have yours. But the difference here is between acknowledging someone’s view and brushing it off. If I tell a Christian that Jesus Christ was actually a symbolic story instead of a real person, would he listen to me? No, because he is fixated with his delusion that he would not listen to my utter nonsense (to him at least). If I tell a Muslim that his religion was actually based on a moon-god cult dating back to a couple of thousands years, would he listen me? He could probably hit me if I'm in the wrong place. Not that I want them to agree with me or anything, i could be wrong, but I doubt they will even sit down and let me start voicing my opinions.

People are indeed good at protecting themselves from harmful/hurtful feelings but sometimes, the ways they protect themselves are actually hurtful to someone else.

Live with it means you are happy with everything. Survive with it means you believe that things could be better. And I really want to believe that the world can be a better place. That people can be better.

Is intelligence an impediment to happiness?
The more intelligent one is, the more aware one is of the harsh realities of life. In other words, Ignorance is Bliss. But I don’t think ignorance is bliss. What I believe is that, selective ignorance is the true bliss!

"Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know." - Ernest Hemingway [At least I’m content. But happiness? I’ll find peace first before happiness and I think I now know how to find peace]

Now, instead of saying what I would usually have, I’ll just say "as long as you are happy". Even when I feel that there’s something wrong and I should be a good Sagittarian and voice it out, I just seem to have come to terms that it would be better for me to just say "as long as you are happy" and shut my mouth. This way, I don’t get upset and they are happy with what they are doing. Whether they are going to be happy down the road, who knows? My opinion could be that they are setting themselves up for a major heartache if they continue doing what they do but if they are happy now, why cares so much about the future right? (Me rationalizing to myself so I can have a reason to stop talking or trying to give people advice)

So, to the people of the world, if you are happy with what you are doing now then by all means continue doing it. No matter what people tell you, don’t listen to them. Those people are nuts like me. "As long as you are happy", nothing else matters. If you are happy with a jerk, then go find a jerk. If you find pleasure in being abused and beaten then go find a women-beater. If you feel you are worthless then go find someone who will treat you like dirt. If you can’t live without men then go grab any guy you can get and hoop around from one to another like a monkey. If you think jackasses are cute then do yourself a favor and go find a donkey name jack. You deserve it.

I am tired of doing this. First I lost my motivation and now I’m just plain tired. Women are crazy. Women are out of their minds. Every time I read the papers on the help section, there will always be some letters from some women that just drive me nuts. I see it almost everyday and to be honest, it’s depressing.

My nerves are gone. Why do so many of you women treat a man like he is your man if he is telling you to your face that he ain't your man and don't want you for nothing more than your booty! Obviously you enjoy getting used as a sex toy. You encourage it! You support it! It's exciting to wonder where he is and how you can entice him back to your bed so you can get used some more!

For some reason, the female sex is plagued with low self esteem. Scientists report that a woman’s chief concern within relationships is that of being abandoned. So many women sadly put all their energies into worrying about keeping a man around... plotting, planning, snooping, and manipulating. Without a man (sometimes ANY man), they feel like nothing. I mean, you got to agree with me on this. This whole thing is a fact. Low self-esteem women can’t stand being alone.

Treat yourself with kindness and love. Choose better partners, men that demonstrate on a daily basis their respect and love for you. Accept that you deserve to be treated well, deserve to be loved, and deserve to have in your life and your arms a man that you don't have to chase down or beg for attention and love.

And another disturbing fact is that, a lot of women are darn good in giving excuses to themselves. They rationalize every single bad thing. No matter how obvious things are, they will always take the easy way out and just come up with an excuse and live with it. If a guy hits her, she will just say, "maybe he is having a bad day at the office. He doesn’t mean to hit me". If he slept with another girl, she will say, "maybe that bitch drugged him and took advantage of him. He’s the real victim here, I shouldn’t be mad at him". Research has prove that women lie more compare to men (in general) but one important fact they left out is that women are extremely good in lying to themselves.

I do not know why I am like this. The thing, I shouldn’t have been bothered by it but I am. Whenever I come across women like this, women who got low self-esteem, women who got no self-worth, I get really upset. I’ve learn to keep my mouth shut and just let them burn but my heart still aches. And let me tell you, it seriously doesn’t feel nice.

I think there is more to it in me than me being a typical "I care for everything" Sagittarian. Maybe some psychological matter, maybe my head has got some loose screws. I don’t know but I really want to know why, so I can stop feeling this way. Maybe because I used to have low self-esteem (yeah, I do, otherwise I wouldn’t have got burnt) that I know how it feels and that no one should ever have to go thru that.

Whatever the reason is, I really do hope that the next time I see or read something like this again, I would not feel anything. I really do not want to care anymore. I care for what I should but for crying out loud, please don't make me care for every damn thing.

I saw eve’s diary today on the TV. A woman talk show with a girl host name Cleo. A pretty cute host. And for today’s episode, she’s talking about guys that women hate. I mean, what kinda guys that women don’t like. And for this episode she had a guest. I didn’t really get her name but I think her name is Miss Lee.

On first sight, I already have a good feeling about the guest. She has that vibe that kinda got me attracted and further watching down the show, I was right. I do like that girl. A lot. She is one of the women that if a guy got to be with her, then the guy is one heck of a lucky guy. I mean, of course the guy has to be good in order to be with her but still, I would say the guy is lucky. Women like her are seriously low in supply these days. And I mean seriously low.

I really love the way she look at things. They way she thinks and the answer she gives while answering questions and discussing the topic. And she is pretty too. Not the kinda of pretty where most girls would dye their hair, perm, make up heavily, dress to kill or stuffs like that. She’s just simple. Her hair is simple. She took care of her hair well, nothing fancy, just let it grow and trim it when needed. No coloring, no perm. In fact, I’m pretty sure her hair is in its natural state. The make up was light, and I applaud her choice of lipstick color. Just perfect. And her attire was nice too. Nothing fancy, white jeans and a coat (or something, not sure what they call that). You can actually see that she’s very comfortable with her own skin.

Back to the main topic, men that women hate. One of the type discussed was guy with big ego or in Chinese "da nan ren". And I like the point given by the guest. She said that she’s a very ambitious woman and a go getter and she needs a guy who can keep her feet on the ground while she’s going after what she wants. We all tend get off track and not realize what we are doing and that is why we need someone there to make sure that we do not stray off track.

And then they talk about guys who drink, gamble, and violent. According to her, violent and bad tempered is different. Guy with bad temper might still be able to control himself. He knows he is bad tempered but he too knows how to control it but guys who are violent is different. I don’t know how to really explain the difference because the show was on mandarin and I don’t really know how to convert mandarin to English. But there is a difference between bad temper and being violent. And another thing that I really agree with her is that, NEVER stay with a guy who beat you or beat a woman. This can never happen, no even once. If he beats you once then that’s it. I hate guys who beat women but what hurts me the most is a girl who endures the beatings and still stays in with the guy. The girl was right (the guest, Ms. Lee) by saying that if there’s a first then there will always be a second a third and so forth.

And then a caller called in and says that she hates guy who borrow money from women and then disappear. Then this pretty girl (from now I’ll call her pretty girl coz I can’t be sure if her name is really Ms. Lee or not) ask "have you ever borrow money from a guy?". I actually laughed at this and this actually made me like pretty girl even more. The caller said yes and when pretty girl pushed on and ask "did you pay him back?" the caller cleverly change the spotlight and go back talking about "the guy who borrowed money from her but has yet to pay her back". What I like about her (the leng lui) is the fact that she’s a very reasonable woman. Women often blame guys for almost everything but never on themselves and when she asked that question to the caller, I knew she is different. We human always see the bad in others but never in ourselves. We always think that we are good enough and we don’t think there’s anything wrong with us. And if there’s something wrong, we’ll blame it on everything else.

And then there was this question from the host that goes "what do you think about good looking guys?" The host says that she would probably not choose good looking guys for some reason (the mandarin was way too fast and my brain didn’t have enough time to decipher it) and then this pretty girl says, "I want good looking guys". She didn’t really mean good looking as in drop dead gorgeous but presentable and easy on the eyes. Which is practically the same with me. I want a girl with a good face and she wants a guy with a good face. Now, if only she thinks I have a good face too. Haha. I’ll test my aunties’ theory and get a few more pounds and then we’ll if I can kill :p

At the end, the host asks, "Has all good men extinct together with the dinosaurs?" and she answered no. Pretty girl said that, you can’t expect too much in looking for a guy. It all has to be natural. Don’t put too much expectations and keep an eye open for possibility and your prince charming will come. Keep a simple expectation and things will fall into place.

And the ending, pretty one says to the host, "There are good men out there because we are all good women". I REALLY love her. Like how Joey would say it, while looking her in the eyes, "Ohh... I love you".

To be really honest, if I know a girl like her, I’d stop at nothing in going after her. I would go out all guns blazing and I never did that before. Well sure she might not be interested in me but what I can say is, even if I got rejected and I crash and burn, she is worth it. She is worth every sweat, blood and pain ;) This shows how much I admire her. And since it’s coming from me, that has to say a lot (yeah, me blowing me own horn :p)

But the thing is, I think she’s around 28. The only chance of finding a girl like her is only possible in women aged around 28 and above. Girls below that age, well... they are still good but I’m still holding out for a girl like her. And based on what I can see, I’m not going to find her at my age so now I’m changing my approach. Instead of finding one, I’m going to make one.

At least I can be happy that I now know for sure there is a girl like her that exists in this world and most importantly, in Malaysia. At least there is still hope for me to get married; otherwise, I might do a George Clooney or Aaron Kwok ;)

[This are my responds to some of the comments on my previous posts]

[crooked arrows can't be straighten but a straight arrow can be "crooked" just the way you want it. And, there's no way a bad boy is going to be good too]

For this statement, I would add on something. People don't change, if there is no way a bad boy is going to be good; the same principle would have apply to "there is no way a good boy to be a bad". Cuz this world exist on "ying-yang" philosophy. If you disagree with it, question is, is it a FACT then "a bad boy can't be a good boy"?

I think you missed out on something. You can change a person’s attitude, the way he acts, the superficial stuffs but you can never change a person’s heart. Not by choice. What I meant by changing a good boy is only changing the way he acts, the superficial stuffs, but his good heart is still intact. I do not condone a good boy turning into a bad guy just to get women. No, that was not what I meant.

What I meant was to have a good guy changing the way he acts around women. Women are attracted to bad guys in general not because they are attracted to his rotten heart but because of the way a bad boy generally acts, the persona. Once a good guy has learned the "way of the bad boys" his good heart is still very much the same. A good guy and a bad boy who act the same but one has a good heart and another has got a rotten heart. Who would you choose?

As for your yin and yang philosophy, it can’t be applied to everything. It’s just a philosophy of balance and I personally don’t think it applies here. From what I believe, yin and yang means that, if there is white, then there has to be black somewhere. It doesn’t mean that if you can do something this way, then you can do it the other way round too. If you were to apply it to everything, then if time is moving forward, that means it could also move backward but it can’t. If I am growing old, then I should too be able to grow younger but can I? Don’t think so ;)

I did not say that a good boy should be a bad boy. The quote you took was taken out of context. What I said in that particular post was changing the way a good boy acts, his persona, his personality and not his heart. A good boy’s heart should always remain good.

Changing the way a person acts is possible. You can learn how to speak softly, speak loudly, how to treat a woman and what to say to a woman. But you can’t change a person’s heart or a person’s internal belief. And I agree that people do not change. People say they change all the time but inside, they are still the same. You can change the outside but you can’t change the inside. That is why a nice guy is the better choice because he has a good inside and the outside; well, you can take your time changing it if you want.

That is why I suggested that, if a girl wants to change a guy then change a nice guy. Don’t change a bad boy because you can’t change his rotten heart. You can make a "chau taufu" from a perfectly fresh "taufu" but can u make a fresh "taufu" from a "chau taufu"? You can change the way both "taufu" look on the serve plate so they both look exactly the same but you can’t change the kind of "taufu" they already are.

Ok, now I feel like eating "taufu-fa"

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I was just wondering...why did he not just poor the alcohol onto the ice?...would of saved a lot of time..prolly would have melted the ice quicker and he wouldn't feel so gross...just a thought :)

1. He’s trapped for 4 days with no food but the 60 bottle of beers. It’s proven that a person can stay alive for a week without food but not without water. So it’s wise for him to drink it and make use of what that’s coming out later.
2. Piss is warm if not hot, especially when it’s mixed with alcohol. Cold water does not melt ice as good as warm water. You care more about the gross part or you care more about surviving?
3. And the most important of all, he IS a man. And no man should waste his beer.

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to some extend, human being prone to think of mistakes more than they realise what is the ingredients that encourage mmistakes to be born. oftenly, we stimulate our god dam brain to think nothign in particular which eventually leads to sorrow, laughter or even paranoids or phobias! briefly speaking, this is being labeled as thinking too much.

Some of it makes some sense and some did not. And I don’t even know how or where to start. You say think nothing in particular and then you say think too much. To think of nothing in particular does not leads to sorrow or laughter or phobias or anything. On the contrary, it’s when you think too much of something in particular that you will get those feelings. If you are thinking of nothing in particular then you shouldn’t be feeling anything because you are practically thinking of something that doesn’t matter.

I believe you have your own reason for saying what you say. So I’m going to respect that. My argument ends here.

[Written by a female writer. I just got this today. She does put some nice points but not strong enough. I got a feeling she’s holding back instead of going all out and the whole article is kinda vague especially on the title. It asks why women date average guy? But what kinda women are we talking about here? Hot ones? Old ones? Hot and old? Which?] [Bold and in bracket = me, everything else = her]

For many women, the dating scene is comparable to a buffet: sometimes you luck out and get a variety of beefsteaks and sweet, sweet desserts, and sometimes you're stuck with some limp lettuce and two kinds of macaroni salad. Nonetheless, if you're hungry, you'll clean your plate and ask for more. [This is more apparent in guys. Most men will think that, if he can get a girl that’s good enough and most of the time they are willing to lower their standard because in their opinion, girls get hit a lot more than guys so if a guy can get a (any) girl, he’d happy enough. It’s all about demand] [But Mr. Big will wait for the next round of the buffet when the steak comes out. Mr. Big is never hungry and even if he is, he’ll just walk out and go to another buffet instead of eating and cleaning whatever that’s left on the table] [I might do a Sex and the City episodes review if I feel like it, maybe later after i got the full set]

Similarly, if women are faced with limited dating options, most will settle for what is available, provided the guy in question doesn't have the looks of Quasimodo and the personality of Charles Manson. [This does not apply to a stunning hot 10 or even 9 and 8 for that matter. Pretty girls are never out of options. But if you see a pretty girl age below 30 with an average guy, then it could be only for 3 reasons. One, he is a bad boy and it won’t last. Two, the girl has low self-esteem and it will either last if the guy has got low self-esteem too or the girl will get dumped by the guy if he has more esteem. Girls with low self-esteem are "suffocating". Three, she’s just in it for the money/joyride]

This tendency arises for a variety of reasons, including the arguably greater societal pressure on women to have a significant other in their lives. Let's face it; an unattached man is often viewed as a swinging bachelor, while a single woman is seen as a lonely old maid. [LOL. I like this one. This is actually part of the "knowledge" that some guys use to exploit “lonely old maid” or “maids who think they are old”]

Below are some of the most common scenarios in which women are likely to settle, and how to capitalize on them.

Scenario 1: The buck stop here
Obviously, if there are few other men around, you're bound to become a valuable commodity. It's simply the law of supply and demand applied to relationships. For example, if you're lucky enough to work in a place where women outnumber men 10 to one, the ladies will practically be jumping in your lap. You don't have to be Superman, heck, you don't even have to be the Green Lantern; you just have to be able to smile and string together these six words: "What are you doing after work?" [That is why a guy joining a dance or yoga class is always a good idea. I actually thought of dancing for awhile but me still can’t get myself to do it yet. Maybe I’ll get a lady friend to go with me. At least if I stumble, I get to stumble upon a lady ;)]

Scenario 2: No, that dress doesn't make you look fat
It's no secret that many women have low self-esteem [It’s no secret to a woman but most men would never believe this. Men get intimidated by women all the time and that is why they usually get all nervous around women, especially the hot ones. They would never even have the time to think that the girl might suffer from low self-esteem] Guys also frequently suffer from a lack of self-worth, but arguably not to the same extent, as evidenced by the difference between men's and women's magazines [Men often suffer from lack of confidence in themselves when dealing with women and women often suffer from insecurities about themselves] While men's tend to focus on power, women's focus on looks and presentation. Accordingly, ladies who feel that they have little to offer in the looks department are usually willing to settle for a less-than-perfect man [And I have to say, they often fall trap to some guys who just want nothing more than a fling. They are easy prey and some guys just prey on these kinda women. That is why self-esteem is always important to a woman. Confidence in a woman makes her beautiful, self-esteem is to protect herself] Even if her minor imperfections don't detract from the overall sexy package, she probably irrationally believes that everyone else also focuses on her few extra pounds or the little bump on her nose. [Throw a woman off balance and things will get easier. Just like poker, you don’t really need to have a good hand to win. If the other person folds, you win. Life is a gamble, you win some, and you lose some. And you don’t think getting rejected or a failed relationship is a lost then you will always going to win]

It would probably be wrong for me to advocate preying on girls with little self-esteem, so let me rephrase that: Be kind to women who need positive reinforcement. And you'll get laid. [Remember one thing, the person who wrote this is a female, a woman]

If she's feeling like she's past her prime or she hasn't had a boyfriend in a while, she could be yours. [Hehe. No point if a guy can’t see this. Like playing poker, you got to know how to read women if you want to play your cards right ;)]

Scenario 3: Time's up, toots!
For the majority of women, by about age 30, the ol' biological clock is ticking loudly [See, a girl who agrees with my theory. I guess my feminine side is finally showing up] Around this time, single girls have already watched many of their friends get married, settle down, and start popping out babies. And even if, on the surface, the woman seems reasonably happy with her life as it is, a tiny, nagging voice in the back of her head is telling her that time is running out [Again, you got to know how to read women and their signals. Women who say they are happy being single, they don’t really mean it. They are just putting up a front for deep down, she’s desperately waiting. Most women are insecure one way or another, and we all long to love and be loved no matter what. And women know that as time passes by, she is running out of time. When you get "desperate", you don’t think straight] Those pesky nesting instincts are urging her to find a stable male provider, hook him fast, and start accumulating appliances and furniture as soon as possible. These women are also quite willing to settle for less than Prince Charming if it means eventually settling down. [Another reason why 50% of marriage ends in divorce. Older women got desperate, cincai take one, end up fighting day and night and then divorce and the victim will be the kids. When the nice guys were going after them, they don’t want. Then when they got older, they cincai grab one (it rhymes). So to all the guys out there, if you want to get married, make sure you find the RIGHT ONE. And be wary of girls who would stop at nothing to "con" you into marriage. I’ve seen this a few times. Women are capable of ANYTHING and they DO NOT fight fair]

Steer clear of those appealing nubile young things, who tend to be "me-focused," in favor of more mature mademoiselles. [You want long term then go for the "stable and reasonable" ones. Homebodies or over 28. I’m not being prejudice against younger women but in general, older women tend to be more mature and stable than the younger ones. I know, there are some older women who act like a bitch too but girls over 28 are a safer bet than the younger ones]

Scenario 4: Dry spells = desperation
Like men, women sometimes go through dating dry spells. After several months -- or maybe even years -- of being alone, even Earl the Creepy Custodian may start to look like Brad Pitt. In addition, paranoia kicks in and the typical woman will begin to wonder -- is there something wrong with me? Am I not attractive to men anymore? [Women are insecure one way or another. Period. Play your cards right and you’ll get the jackpot. Again, like poker, learn how to read women, have self-control, play your cards close to yourself and you’ll get the pot on the poker table] As a result, she will begin to loosen her standards and consider dating men that she would have dismissed in the past as too reckless, too stubborn, too short, or simply not "her type." [What comes around, goes around. Live life with no regrets? Yeah, sure, easier said than done. When you are 40 and married to a short, fat, bald, smelly "man", try telling yourself that you did not regret rejecting all those "not my type nice guys" that could have made you so happy for the rest of your life]

These types of women are usually more introverted than most, or just plain shy, which explains why they're single even though they're attractive. You won't usually find them at singles' clubs or bars, unless a more outgoing pal dragged them there, so be prepared to chat 'em up at everyday places like the grocery store or Laundromat. [Honestly, I would prefer this kinda girls. Girls who are beautiful but don’t really think they are hot (although they can if they want to). Not because of low self-esteem but because the way they were brought up. A girl who is nice, beautiful and humble. A girl who never boast or brag but is confident and sure about herself. And she is not a drag. No man wants a girl who is a drag. We understand if you can’t lift the heavy box and need us to help. But if it’s some simple stuff then try doing it yourself first before you jump on it and ask a guy to do it for you. If you can’t do something simple, then how are you supposed to be able to raise kids after you got married? Sure, not all men and women go into relationship with the hope of it to end in marriage but still, a man would want a girl who can take care of herself and him when needed. A man will not hope that there will be a day that a girl would have to take care of him but at the same time, he wants to know that you can take care of him. This makes little sense I know, it took me a good few minutes to form that sentence. It’s basically like, they do not want a girl to do it but they want to know that a girl can do it. And men are not social tools]

[There are women who like to boast about themselves so that others will see her as a confident high esteem woman, and most guys would fall for it but Mr. Big sees thru it]

[I really don’t believe in girls who over-wear or under-wear and make up all over. A girl should take care of her appearance but not over do it. Never dress to impress but dress the way you feel comfortable in. I know this is a thin line but some guys can tell the difference. Guys do want the girl to look nice but deep down, they just want you to look nice for yourself. And btw, this kinda thought only applies to gentleman or the balanced man. Bad boys want you to look nice because it ups his status. Nice guys would prefer you not to look nice because they are scared that you might get snatched by someone else]

one more for the road

An important addendum: Surprising though it may be, sometimes the most attractive woman beside you in the checkout aisle is actually single and searching. Occasionally, killer looks in women can deter romance because men find them too intimidating. Ever wonder how that absolutely average schmuck managed to snare that gorgeous dame on his arm? The answer is simple -- he had the guts to go after her and, in the absence of other brave, go-getter type males, she settled for him. The "hottie-with-the-hobbit" scenario happens every day. It can happen to you too. [Yeah, it’s all a matter of place. A hottie in a club or disco is definitely not single but a hottie in a bookstore or a coffee shop might just be the one. You are what you eat. You are who you surround yourself with. If you want a long term a girl, you’ll never gonna get her from a rave party]

So what are you waiting for? You're a decent guy and fantastic femmes have been known to settle. Go for your dream girl and you just might get her. [Easier said then done. I got a feeling that the author is just giving out hope so that guys could still hold on in hoping to finally getting a perfect 10, a crispy on the outside and crunchy on the inside (refer to previous post). But I still believe it’s easier making one than finding one. Girls these days do not really know what men want or what men wish to have. They think being pretty is all that it takes and men will be happy with it. Sure, most men will be happy with a pretty one, but Mr. Big wants more. Mr. Big wants a girl with substance, good personality, attitude and a good heart. Someone who is more than just a pretty face]

[It’s easy to have a lasting relationship, but a happy meaningful lasting relationship, now that’s a whole different story. To have a lasting relationship, just get an "accident" and tied yourself and your spouse with kids for the rest of your life. But for a meaningful lasting relationship, there’s a lot more to it. Communication is important and it’s not just about saying what you think. Openness is good but there is a limit. There are things you should say and there are things you shouldn’t. There’s a difference, a huge difference between knowing something and actually seeing and hearing that something. You know she has been with quite a numbers of guys before you and that’s ok but when you actually hear it from her mouth, things will definitely change. There are thing that guys don’t really want to know]

[Women always say that they want honesty from men, sure, I admire that. Honesty is good. But the question is how much honesty is good before it turns bad? You got to know where to draw the line. Communicating is one thing; knowing how much to say is another thing. There are times when a guy says something, he meant good but he didn’t know that the girl would take it negatively and then the girl will just say "I’m fine" when she is obviously not. Women expect men to read their minds. This is utter nonsense but what can men do about it? Women will not change such attitude so one has to back down. You don’t have to read her mind but learn how to say the right things. Be sensitive, tap into your feminine side (Me teaching guys to be sissies now) and trust me on this, act like a sissy at the right time and you’ll win her heart even more]

[There are things you should say and there are things you shouldn’t say. Where to draw the line? Now, that’s an art. How to perfect such art? Pay me and I’ll tell you. Haha. The truth is, you should actually be able to "feel" it if you are saying the wrong things or whether you should say something. I have a freaking long theory on this one, on how someone can learn how to read situations. Man, it really frustrating right now. I wanted to write it out and describe it but I just can’t seem to explain it in words. Crap]

[An unrelated story. This one is a classic. Saw this while rummaging thru ahmoi.com. Do you think she’ll make me into a bad guy if I tell her that I’m a good boy?]

bad guys collector
i am good...
i like to meet bad guys.
to make them good guy is my duty.
u will not regret knowing me.
:PPP
~ [name concealed in respect of the person’s privacy] is seeking bad guys. ~