I haven’t really got the book yet but there’s an article based this particular book in this month’s CLEO. The book I’m talking about is the infamous "He’s just not that into you". After I finished reading this article, I couldn’t help but to feel that women do not really play fair. In fact, they don’t. Life lesson no.7: women never fight fair.

In brackets and bold = the article, everything else = yours truly.

This is the excerpt from the article.
[Why didn’t he ask you out on a second date? These sad little words have littered conversations among women across the globe. Well now come the definite answer: He’s. Just. Not. That. Into. You. Simple. Hard to hear, I know. But it’s he truth and surely we can handle the truth, we say. If only he’d say what he really thinks? But you see, he’s saying it. By not making any contact with you, could his message be any clearer?]

Two words come to mind after I finished this paragraph. Double standard. This is EXACTLY the same with women who are not that into a man. They never tell it to the guy face to face but instead, women expect us men to read their "signs" and just "get it". And now they expect men to tell them what he really thinks when women are not doing it themselves? One thing I’ve learn with women is, never take what they say at face value. Sure you can take what they said and take it to court and still win but other than that, you will never, and I say NEVER, going to win if you take what a woman says at face value (me not applying this in general, but more specifically to certain context when dealing with women). Women will say anything as long as she feels that it is the right things to say at that moment, and it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. Women are emotional beings, and judgments are not best made with emotions. Women have no problem "lying" if they FEEL that it’s the right thing to do. As long as they have a "REASON" to justify it.

Women have their own language. When we man say no, we mean no. But when a woman says no, it means something else.

[... I wished guys would stop playing games and tell me the truth. Turns out, they were telling the truth all along. I just didn’t want to hear it]

Honestly, I get a feeling that this guy (writer of the book) has been reading some of stuffs that I’ve been reading. This is exactly the same thing being said about women. It’s like he took stuffs that were actually meant for guys and used it for women. That is why I wasn’t really that eager to get the book coz from the review, it’s practically what I’ve already know. The difference here is that, it’s for women instead for men.

The article and the book also said that men do not appreciate being chase and they like to do the chasing. Very true. I think I’ve touched on this in one of my previous post. Some guys say that they like being chased but they don’t really mean what they say. I agree with this but the book doesn’t really explain why men say they like to be chased but doesn’t really mean it. I got an explanation on this but I don’t have enough motivation to actually write it all out. Ask me out and maybe we’ll talk it over coffee ;)

You really like a guy, but he doesn’t really like you to go out with your friends. He doesn’t like you going out late. He makes you change who you are. Sure you love him but ask yourself, is he the one you want to be with? The author made the exact same point I’ve known for years. It doesn’t really matter how much you love a person, we all know love is blind, but ask yourself rationally, is he the kinda guy that you really want to be with? Last time, I used to look at a pretty girl and my mind will go into overdrive and think how to get her and imagining how life would be with her. Even thou she might have some flaws, I still tell myself that I can live with it no matter how big is the flaw because I was SO smitten by her beauty (I was young then)

But now, it doesn’t matter how much I might have like her in the beginning or at first impression. The first question I ask is, does she have what it takes for me to be happy? Is this just for temporary fun or am I going to keep her for the long haul? Having a pretty girl besides me is one thing but having a pretty and with substance (and all those good face, brains, heart stuffs) lady is a whole new other world.

[Deep down in the psyche of most men, he’s the one who’s supposed to chase. And deep down in the psyche of most women, she’s the one who’s supposed to be chased] This in a psychological level is true. But holding on to this theory without understanding it doesn’t really make any difference. We all know women want a nice guy but they always fall for the bad boys. We know this for a fact but do you know why? If you know why, then you can make a difference. But if you do not know why, then be a bad boy and hopefully you’ll get a girl.

Another thing I like about this book is the issue about women making excused for themselves. Women are the kings and queens of making excuses for themselves. Period. If your self-esteem is dropping after you got into a relationship, trust me, you are with the wrong person. No matter how much you love him, he is not for you. But if you are with him not because of love or happiness but for some other reason (financial, convenience) then I pity you and the guy. Or perhaps people like this do deserve to be together. One wants to use, another is willing to be used. A match made in screwed-up heaven. Hehe.

I am coming to a conclusion; this book is actually based on stuffs that were meant for guys in the first place. The author ripped it and repackages it for the female audience. The similarity is too much for a coincidence. But the author just got the stuffs from the "mainstream" source.

But then again, women like to read and feel good for a while. And after that, they’ll go back to their old self. This practically means that everything I ever wrote is actually going to waste. I’ve stop trying to "save" others, I now let them burn in their own flame. But at least I know myself that I’ve tried. And that’s more than enough for me.

I like the book (not that I’ve actually read it yet) but I still think that it’s a rip-off. Maybe it’s a coincidence. I don’t know. And not to mention the double standard in it too. If you want a guy to be honest to you, do the same to him too. And don't give me that crap that you do not want to hurt his feelings by being honest and telling him the truth. Any girls who say they can't be honest because they are scared that it might hurt the guy's feelings is a girl full of crap. She is just taking the easy way out and that says alot about her personality and guys should be able to see that and just get over it. There are girls worth dying for and they are girls that do not even deserve a thought, not even a second.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

[He didn’t want you but someone some day soon will]

Happy Chinese New Year. May everyone of you have a good year.