[Written by a female writer. I just got this today. She does put some nice points but not strong enough. I got a feeling she’s holding back instead of going all out and the whole article is kinda vague especially on the title. It asks why women date average guy? But what kinda women are we talking about here? Hot ones? Old ones? Hot and old? Which?] [Bold and in bracket = me, everything else = her]

For many women, the dating scene is comparable to a buffet: sometimes you luck out and get a variety of beefsteaks and sweet, sweet desserts, and sometimes you're stuck with some limp lettuce and two kinds of macaroni salad. Nonetheless, if you're hungry, you'll clean your plate and ask for more. [This is more apparent in guys. Most men will think that, if he can get a girl that’s good enough and most of the time they are willing to lower their standard because in their opinion, girls get hit a lot more than guys so if a guy can get a (any) girl, he’d happy enough. It’s all about demand] [But Mr. Big will wait for the next round of the buffet when the steak comes out. Mr. Big is never hungry and even if he is, he’ll just walk out and go to another buffet instead of eating and cleaning whatever that’s left on the table] [I might do a Sex and the City episodes review if I feel like it, maybe later after i got the full set]

Similarly, if women are faced with limited dating options, most will settle for what is available, provided the guy in question doesn't have the looks of Quasimodo and the personality of Charles Manson. [This does not apply to a stunning hot 10 or even 9 and 8 for that matter. Pretty girls are never out of options. But if you see a pretty girl age below 30 with an average guy, then it could be only for 3 reasons. One, he is a bad boy and it won’t last. Two, the girl has low self-esteem and it will either last if the guy has got low self-esteem too or the girl will get dumped by the guy if he has more esteem. Girls with low self-esteem are "suffocating". Three, she’s just in it for the money/joyride]

This tendency arises for a variety of reasons, including the arguably greater societal pressure on women to have a significant other in their lives. Let's face it; an unattached man is often viewed as a swinging bachelor, while a single woman is seen as a lonely old maid. [LOL. I like this one. This is actually part of the "knowledge" that some guys use to exploit “lonely old maid” or “maids who think they are old”]

Below are some of the most common scenarios in which women are likely to settle, and how to capitalize on them.

Scenario 1: The buck stop here
Obviously, if there are few other men around, you're bound to become a valuable commodity. It's simply the law of supply and demand applied to relationships. For example, if you're lucky enough to work in a place where women outnumber men 10 to one, the ladies will practically be jumping in your lap. You don't have to be Superman, heck, you don't even have to be the Green Lantern; you just have to be able to smile and string together these six words: "What are you doing after work?" [That is why a guy joining a dance or yoga class is always a good idea. I actually thought of dancing for awhile but me still can’t get myself to do it yet. Maybe I’ll get a lady friend to go with me. At least if I stumble, I get to stumble upon a lady ;)]

Scenario 2: No, that dress doesn't make you look fat
It's no secret that many women have low self-esteem [It’s no secret to a woman but most men would never believe this. Men get intimidated by women all the time and that is why they usually get all nervous around women, especially the hot ones. They would never even have the time to think that the girl might suffer from low self-esteem] Guys also frequently suffer from a lack of self-worth, but arguably not to the same extent, as evidenced by the difference between men's and women's magazines [Men often suffer from lack of confidence in themselves when dealing with women and women often suffer from insecurities about themselves] While men's tend to focus on power, women's focus on looks and presentation. Accordingly, ladies who feel that they have little to offer in the looks department are usually willing to settle for a less-than-perfect man [And I have to say, they often fall trap to some guys who just want nothing more than a fling. They are easy prey and some guys just prey on these kinda women. That is why self-esteem is always important to a woman. Confidence in a woman makes her beautiful, self-esteem is to protect herself] Even if her minor imperfections don't detract from the overall sexy package, she probably irrationally believes that everyone else also focuses on her few extra pounds or the little bump on her nose. [Throw a woman off balance and things will get easier. Just like poker, you don’t really need to have a good hand to win. If the other person folds, you win. Life is a gamble, you win some, and you lose some. And you don’t think getting rejected or a failed relationship is a lost then you will always going to win]

It would probably be wrong for me to advocate preying on girls with little self-esteem, so let me rephrase that: Be kind to women who need positive reinforcement. And you'll get laid. [Remember one thing, the person who wrote this is a female, a woman]

If she's feeling like she's past her prime or she hasn't had a boyfriend in a while, she could be yours. [Hehe. No point if a guy can’t see this. Like playing poker, you got to know how to read women if you want to play your cards right ;)]

Scenario 3: Time's up, toots!
For the majority of women, by about age 30, the ol' biological clock is ticking loudly [See, a girl who agrees with my theory. I guess my feminine side is finally showing up] Around this time, single girls have already watched many of their friends get married, settle down, and start popping out babies. And even if, on the surface, the woman seems reasonably happy with her life as it is, a tiny, nagging voice in the back of her head is telling her that time is running out [Again, you got to know how to read women and their signals. Women who say they are happy being single, they don’t really mean it. They are just putting up a front for deep down, she’s desperately waiting. Most women are insecure one way or another, and we all long to love and be loved no matter what. And women know that as time passes by, she is running out of time. When you get "desperate", you don’t think straight] Those pesky nesting instincts are urging her to find a stable male provider, hook him fast, and start accumulating appliances and furniture as soon as possible. These women are also quite willing to settle for less than Prince Charming if it means eventually settling down. [Another reason why 50% of marriage ends in divorce. Older women got desperate, cincai take one, end up fighting day and night and then divorce and the victim will be the kids. When the nice guys were going after them, they don’t want. Then when they got older, they cincai grab one (it rhymes). So to all the guys out there, if you want to get married, make sure you find the RIGHT ONE. And be wary of girls who would stop at nothing to "con" you into marriage. I’ve seen this a few times. Women are capable of ANYTHING and they DO NOT fight fair]

Steer clear of those appealing nubile young things, who tend to be "me-focused," in favor of more mature mademoiselles. [You want long term then go for the "stable and reasonable" ones. Homebodies or over 28. I’m not being prejudice against younger women but in general, older women tend to be more mature and stable than the younger ones. I know, there are some older women who act like a bitch too but girls over 28 are a safer bet than the younger ones]

Scenario 4: Dry spells = desperation
Like men, women sometimes go through dating dry spells. After several months -- or maybe even years -- of being alone, even Earl the Creepy Custodian may start to look like Brad Pitt. In addition, paranoia kicks in and the typical woman will begin to wonder -- is there something wrong with me? Am I not attractive to men anymore? [Women are insecure one way or another. Period. Play your cards right and you’ll get the jackpot. Again, like poker, learn how to read women, have self-control, play your cards close to yourself and you’ll get the pot on the poker table] As a result, she will begin to loosen her standards and consider dating men that she would have dismissed in the past as too reckless, too stubborn, too short, or simply not "her type." [What comes around, goes around. Live life with no regrets? Yeah, sure, easier said than done. When you are 40 and married to a short, fat, bald, smelly "man", try telling yourself that you did not regret rejecting all those "not my type nice guys" that could have made you so happy for the rest of your life]

These types of women are usually more introverted than most, or just plain shy, which explains why they're single even though they're attractive. You won't usually find them at singles' clubs or bars, unless a more outgoing pal dragged them there, so be prepared to chat 'em up at everyday places like the grocery store or Laundromat. [Honestly, I would prefer this kinda girls. Girls who are beautiful but don’t really think they are hot (although they can if they want to). Not because of low self-esteem but because the way they were brought up. A girl who is nice, beautiful and humble. A girl who never boast or brag but is confident and sure about herself. And she is not a drag. No man wants a girl who is a drag. We understand if you can’t lift the heavy box and need us to help. But if it’s some simple stuff then try doing it yourself first before you jump on it and ask a guy to do it for you. If you can’t do something simple, then how are you supposed to be able to raise kids after you got married? Sure, not all men and women go into relationship with the hope of it to end in marriage but still, a man would want a girl who can take care of herself and him when needed. A man will not hope that there will be a day that a girl would have to take care of him but at the same time, he wants to know that you can take care of him. This makes little sense I know, it took me a good few minutes to form that sentence. It’s basically like, they do not want a girl to do it but they want to know that a girl can do it. And men are not social tools]

[There are women who like to boast about themselves so that others will see her as a confident high esteem woman, and most guys would fall for it but Mr. Big sees thru it]

[I really don’t believe in girls who over-wear or under-wear and make up all over. A girl should take care of her appearance but not over do it. Never dress to impress but dress the way you feel comfortable in. I know this is a thin line but some guys can tell the difference. Guys do want the girl to look nice but deep down, they just want you to look nice for yourself. And btw, this kinda thought only applies to gentleman or the balanced man. Bad boys want you to look nice because it ups his status. Nice guys would prefer you not to look nice because they are scared that you might get snatched by someone else]

one more for the road

An important addendum: Surprising though it may be, sometimes the most attractive woman beside you in the checkout aisle is actually single and searching. Occasionally, killer looks in women can deter romance because men find them too intimidating. Ever wonder how that absolutely average schmuck managed to snare that gorgeous dame on his arm? The answer is simple -- he had the guts to go after her and, in the absence of other brave, go-getter type males, she settled for him. The "hottie-with-the-hobbit" scenario happens every day. It can happen to you too. [Yeah, it’s all a matter of place. A hottie in a club or disco is definitely not single but a hottie in a bookstore or a coffee shop might just be the one. You are what you eat. You are who you surround yourself with. If you want a long term a girl, you’ll never gonna get her from a rave party]

So what are you waiting for? You're a decent guy and fantastic femmes have been known to settle. Go for your dream girl and you just might get her. [Easier said then done. I got a feeling that the author is just giving out hope so that guys could still hold on in hoping to finally getting a perfect 10, a crispy on the outside and crunchy on the inside (refer to previous post). But I still believe it’s easier making one than finding one. Girls these days do not really know what men want or what men wish to have. They think being pretty is all that it takes and men will be happy with it. Sure, most men will be happy with a pretty one, but Mr. Big wants more. Mr. Big wants a girl with substance, good personality, attitude and a good heart. Someone who is more than just a pretty face]

[It’s easy to have a lasting relationship, but a happy meaningful lasting relationship, now that’s a whole different story. To have a lasting relationship, just get an "accident" and tied yourself and your spouse with kids for the rest of your life. But for a meaningful lasting relationship, there’s a lot more to it. Communication is important and it’s not just about saying what you think. Openness is good but there is a limit. There are things you should say and there are things you shouldn’t. There’s a difference, a huge difference between knowing something and actually seeing and hearing that something. You know she has been with quite a numbers of guys before you and that’s ok but when you actually hear it from her mouth, things will definitely change. There are thing that guys don’t really want to know]

[Women always say that they want honesty from men, sure, I admire that. Honesty is good. But the question is how much honesty is good before it turns bad? You got to know where to draw the line. Communicating is one thing; knowing how much to say is another thing. There are times when a guy says something, he meant good but he didn’t know that the girl would take it negatively and then the girl will just say "I’m fine" when she is obviously not. Women expect men to read their minds. This is utter nonsense but what can men do about it? Women will not change such attitude so one has to back down. You don’t have to read her mind but learn how to say the right things. Be sensitive, tap into your feminine side (Me teaching guys to be sissies now) and trust me on this, act like a sissy at the right time and you’ll win her heart even more]

[There are things you should say and there are things you shouldn’t say. Where to draw the line? Now, that’s an art. How to perfect such art? Pay me and I’ll tell you. Haha. The truth is, you should actually be able to "feel" it if you are saying the wrong things or whether you should say something. I have a freaking long theory on this one, on how someone can learn how to read situations. Man, it really frustrating right now. I wanted to write it out and describe it but I just can’t seem to explain it in words. Crap]

[An unrelated story. This one is a classic. Saw this while rummaging thru ahmoi.com. Do you think she’ll make me into a bad guy if I tell her that I’m a good boy?]

bad guys collector
i am good...
i like to meet bad guys.
to make them good guy is my duty.
u will not regret knowing me.
:PPP
~ [name concealed in respect of the person’s privacy] is seeking bad guys. ~