Got this from a site.

I've got a little situation here. I've been dating Parker for three months now and things have been going fine except for this one phone conversation the other night that threw me for a loop. It revolved around her ex-boyfriend, who she still sees on a regular basis. (They run a business together.) Anyway, she wanted to know if I felt comfortable with that situation. The conversation then somehow shifted to the topic of cheating. She asked me how I felt about it, and whether I would ever take a girlfriend back if she cheated on me.

Well, I told her that I wouldn't think twice about ditching that person since I wouldn't want to be with someone who was a backstabber. Parker was very upset with this response. She then said that if I happened to cheat on her, she would take me back since she's a forgiving person, and that I should see the good in people like she does.

I sensed some anger in her tone when she asked if I believe that people can change. I told her that I wouldn't want to take on the task of changing anyone and that I'm not a therapist. This angered her further. She also said that things sometimes happen and that people make mistakes, especially under the influence of alcohol. Then I asked if she had done anything with her ex since we started dating, and her response was, "Tonight?" (Meaning as opposed to all the other nights!) I thought this was very strange. Then I asked if she still has feelings for this guy and she said that there are no sparks between them, but that she still finds him very attractive.

Then Parker confessed that her ex had asked her to stay over at his place about a week ago, but that he offered her his bed while he would sleep on the couch. To make the story a little more interesting, he said that he respects what she has with me and wouldn't put her in a position where she would have to say no to him. And oh, she said he's a very "physical" person.

Then she told me that she didn't sleep over at his house that night after all. I had a gut feeling that something happened between them and told her so. I requested some time to myself to think about all this and she began to cry, but she really didn't put up much of a fight after I basically accused her of being a cheater. But she told me that I took everything the wrong way because she just wanted to know how I felt about cheating. She then told me to take as much time as I needed.

I really like this story for there are things to learn here. First lesson, never take what women say at face value. On the surface, she seems to be just wanted to know how the guy felt about cheating but the truth is, she wants to set the guy up.

My theory is that, the girl Parker has cheated and felt "a little" guilty for it. When she asked that question she is laying a strategy to back herself up. If you ask a guy what does he thinks about cheating, you either get an answer of "I hate girls who cheat and I would never be with a girl who cheated on me" or "we all make mistakes and I’m willing to take another chance with her". If the guy says "I hate girls who cheat..." then the girl will going to argue that people make mistakes and that people can change (like what Parker did) and if the guy says "we all make mistakes..." then the guy is STUPID.

It’s a no win situation when a girl asks this kind of questions. If you say "we all make mistakes..." then you are lying to yourself. If you really mean that then you seriously have some big issues with your self-esteem. Cheat me once, shame on you. Cheat me twice shame on me. If she can cheat on you once, then she can cheat on you again. Why take a chance on a girl like her when you can go and find someone who would not cheat on you? You may love the girl so much to willing to take another chance on her after she cheated on you but ask yourself, is this the kind of girl you want to be with? A girl that you know might just cheat on you again and again and again and again (multiply that with infinity)

And if you say "I hate girls who cheat..." then you are making yourself seem insecure. Just like Parker and the rest of the women population, they will put you on defensive. They will say that you should "see the good in people like they do". They will try to make you feel like a bad person because you do not give people a second chance. Sure there are some people who deserve a second chance but in this case, there is no second chance. Relationship is based on trust, and once a trust is broken, it’s broken. Just like glass, once broken, it’s broken. No matter how you try to piece it back, there will still always be cracks and it’s just a matter of time before it shatters again. Why stay with a girl that you have to worry every night if she is going to cheat on you again when you can find a new one or perhaps a better girl.

Parker’s main agenda is trying to get the guy to say or agree with her that people make mistakes. If the guy agrees with this, then that means Parker is off the hook. Parker will then tell the guy that she "accidentally" cheated on him and there is NO WAY the guy can blame Parker or be mad at her because the guy has agreed with the notion that "we all make mistakes". Most of the time, women do not ask something serious like this for just the sake of asking. They have an agenda. Either they think you are cheating or they are cheating. Nothing else.

I personally believe that most women do not lie because they don’t like living with the emotional guilt. But then again, they can’t always tell the truth because sometimes telling the truth is not the best way to go (or because it’s not beneficial for them to do so). So women came up with a new language, a woman language. As long as they can justify the things they say, it’s not a lie and they won’t have any guilt.

Parker said she "did not sleep over at the guy’s place" and that is in woman language. In English, it means she left at 3 a.m. Parker asked "what do you think about cheating" and in English it means "I have cheated on you and before I tell you that I’ve cheated on you, I want you to tell me that you will forgive people who cheat. And when I finally tell you that I’ve cheated, you cannot be mad at me. And if you get mad at me, I’m going to turn the table on you and make YOU the BAD PERSON for LYING to me when you say you’ll forgive people who cheat". And in the end if such scenario happens, the guy would end up as the person who has to apologize and not the girl. Yeah, girls are really smart and men are idiots.

Never take what women say at face value. If you think something is wrong then something is definitely wrong. If you sense that there is more than what it seems to be then chances are, there is definitely something more.

In the philosophy of balance, yin and yang, we all have both masculine and feminine sides. In man, masculine is more dominant whereas in women it’s the feminine side. The reason why women’s "sixth sense" and instinct are so accurate is because of the feminine side. Women have the ability to sense things. If a guy is acting like someone he’s not, women know that. If a guy is lack of confidence but act like he’s full of confidence, a woman can see right thru it. If a guy is intimidated but acts cool, a woman can "smell" his fear. If a man has an agenda (trying to get her into bed), women know it before he even utters a word. That is why women are good manipulator because their instincts are so good.

Men could actually have such instincts too but because most men are so full of male ego, it in turn suppressed their feminine side. If you look at guys who are a total gentleman, you can somehow feel that there is a little feminine side to him. Guys like these are different than most guys because they have a mix of masculinity and femininity whereas most guys are just full of masculinity. I said this before, act like a "sissy" at the right time and you’ll score big points with the girls. You can’t act manly all the time; there are times where you got to act a little "unmanly". Not saying that you should cry watching Titanic but... you know what I mean.