Comment was initially posted on “comment response #5” Posted by: Umpossible

dood take a chill pill....J O K I N G ! ! ! hence the *MWAHAHAHAHAHA*...hrmm you always got a lot to say huh :)

Yeah, I know you were joking :) And yes, I do have a lot to say coz that’s what makes me adorable *laugh*

got this email from an ahmoi. Her account has been deleted so I can't post the link but still if anyone is interested, you can email her thru jesshjx@yahoo.com. Too bad I don't have the habit of taking pictures of myself naked, otherwise i might consider joining *laugh*

Hi! dear all guys & gals, I'm Jess, thanks all yrs mails! I don't like to make long story, as u wish to know about me : 34B, 25, 34, 49kgs, self-employ, bi-sexual gals, hobby :nothing is better than having sexual, looking for new guy/gals sexual partner, must be someone can keep in secret,,Not money concern.

There're too many mails I've received, it's really tired & waste time for me to read all..! To make it easy for me do the filtering, I'll do a competition, I, my lovely partners Geena, SexyLing & Asiaman will be judges to do selection. Wanna join our 'party' , u got to take our attention & make us lust.. Guys/Gals, send yr dick/pussy pic & sexual act. pic with yr partner u had before & describe yr stuff.. .. Just send yr pics in, u'll have the chance..! Those selected, will immeadiate invited to join our 'party'...

Those without attachment, I got to say sorry & I won't reply anymore.

* P.S : Hi ! Mikexx, you're extremely good, when r you free ?

Kiss & Suck . . ..

Jess

Got these few articles from Saturday's The Star newspaper.

Very interesting read, especially the last one. I laughed out loud while reading that. My mom thought I was crazy laughing while reading the papers. It’s ok not to read the first 2, nothing too interesting but the last one is a must read.

Merdeka! To laugh at ourselves?

Designer labels, a Catch-22

Adventures in dating

I've changed my pseudo name from perfect-delirium to noodlez. Just incase if there's confusion.

.: food for soul... and noodlez do sound quite nice together *chuckle*

Comment was initially posted on “me new skin” Posted by: Anonymous

yes dearie its very very nice... :p

life's just SCUM. whether they like it or not, you will always be you who won't be hiding for shits that upset you or insult you! it is their choice to click here, their choice for reading this. yell u not, blame u not.

most of the times, i dun care about what shit other did, but just dun get me involve or even suspect me. atleast a word sorry will cool me down. i will be sole responsible and expected whatever shit reaction that is going to happen for what i just posted. i remain my right to say i am saying the fact. i am not creating stories like u people. i am not hiding any shit for anyone nor exploding any shit for anyone coz if that is non of my freaking business, i would just won't waste my bloody remaining time for those shits. kinda hate it so much when my insanity being challenge. it can stay for ages. this is my piece of shit. i have my right to screw whichever bitcs or whichever busterd. i never play with names althought i have so much right like others did to me in their blog, yet i never did. do not force me or challenge my will to do it. yes it will makes no difference to anyone if i do so, if so, then just who are u to bother what i write here. fark off and screw yourself. let me enjoy my remaining time with what i want and not what pissing me off. yeah right i make noise over small matter, coz a small matter to anyone can be a huge insult to sumone!

by the way, anyone feel so sweet to be roasted? i just did. receive a sms *u will be roasted* sound threatening but just sweet to me.

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Err... sorry, this was pissing me way too much and gets me way outta ur subject... hehehe...

Wait, the blog you referring to is whose? Mine or someone else? Are you really sure you do not write a blog? What you said sounds like something that you would post in your blog or a comment on someone’s blog.

I’m not sure who you referring to in your comment but does it makes any difference for you to post it here (unless you already posted it there)? I am not saying you couldn’t but will the intended viewers be seeing it? You know what I think, I think it’s either you do have a blog or you are messing with one of your friend’s blog.

Btw, the SMS you received, why don’t you report it to the police? Just for the fun of it. Tell the cops that you are being threaten and you are scared that he/she might harm you. The cops might not file charges or anything but it might be fun having the police paying the sender of the SMS a visit *evil grin*

And thanks for the compliment. And the dearie thing too *wink*

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Comment was initially posted on “women & self-esteem” Posted by: Anonymous

applicable to gals only or both gender? how to relate self esteem to egoness and arrogant? how to define the defferetiation between an arguement?
why makes a life so difficult? aren't it better to leave it as it is and and bother less? life won't be that long anyway.

[why makes a life so difficult? aren't it better to leave it as it is and and bother less? life won't be that long anyway.] True. Life is not that long anyway but if a person is unhappy because of all the wrong things he/she has been doing without knowing that it’s wrong, don’t you think that it would be better to “bother” about it and change?

I believe in the “bother less” principle but that only applies to the outside world. I couldn’t care less if some girls want to marry some old pig. But I do care about myself, how I feel and the people close to me. If I am being unhappy, should I leave it as it is? If I have been ending up with bitches all my life, should I continue to go with bitches? Some people keep doing the wrong things without even knowing it, so do you think it’s better to just leave them the way they are? I know you might argue that if a person doesn’t even know he is doing the wrong thing then he’s not worth changing anyway. But we all need guidance. I’d prefer to have someone or anyone to correct me if I am wrong rather than leaving me sinking deeper with my mistakes.

Self esteem applies to both genders but in my opinion, self esteem is more important to woman than to man. Self-esteem makes a girl attractive just as how confidence is attractive in a man. Low self-esteem woman will stay in a dysfunctional relationship because she believes that is all she deserves to have. Low self-esteem man on the other hand would hardly even get a girl to begin with so there’s no harm done for him (except for him being lonely).

Ego is a man’s biggest enemy. A little ego is good but having too much and he’ll turn out to be an ego-maniac which is not good. Self-esteem is how you see yourself and ego is how you see others. Man with big ego will hardly agree with anyone else and he couldn’t care less what other thinks.

People who are arrogant and egoistic are actually people who are insecure. Wanting to be better than others or think they are better than others is the product of insecurity. I mean, what else could be the reason on why some people are just so arrogant? Arrogant people project their values to others by bragging (among other things). They show off to others what they are capable of with the main intention of letting others know that he/she is better than anyone else.

If a person thinks he/she is really that good, does he/she really need to be arrogant about it? If you believe that you are as good a person as anyone else, you’ll be confident. If you think that you are better than everyone else, you will be arrogant.

A man who is really good at something has got nothing to prove to the world because he believes the world is smart enough to notice it. On the other hand, a man will be arrogant because he doesn’t believe the world is smart enough to notice him so he has to show it off to them to be noticed, or in short, he is insecure.

Well, at least that's what i think *grin*

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Comment was initially posted on “comment response #4” Posted by: Umpossible

LOL..it's termed plagarism my dear...tsk tskk don't you know you have to cite other people's works mwahahahahha....*sighs* don't I just hate uni :P...cite this reference that BLAH!!! *bangs head on table*...can't wait to get out of here!! :D then I can be a menace to society *jumps for joy* :P

Now let get this straight. I did not plagiarize Sarah’s work. Instead there’s nothing for me to plagiarize. What I took from her was merely a sentence or 2 that everyone would use in their everyday life. In fact, I could have just denied it and say that it was a pure coincidence and still get away with it because those sentences were common. There’s nothing unique or exclusive in her sentences so there’s no need for me to cite it and I did not plagiarize anything.

I admit that I got the idea to write “is this all too late?” from her song but that doesn’t mean I plagiarized anything from Sarah. The fact is, anyone could have come up with those sentences, so do they need to cite Sarah every time they say “truth be told I've tried my best” or “and the cost was so much more than I could bear”.

“Light moves faster than sound” This you should cite because someone else discovered this fact/finding.

There’s this line “Baby you're all that I want” in Bryan Adam’s song, Heaven. So do I need to cite him whenever I tell that to a girl or write it in a letter? Citation only works when there’s a fact or finding behind it.

I am not going defensive here but I just do not like people accusing me for something that I did not do. For you to say that I plagiarized someone’s work, now that is a strong accusation. But i'm going to give you the benefits of the doubt here and assume that you are just being funny *grin*

Comment was initially posted on “comment response #3” Posted by: Anonymous

Hehe... I do not wish to own a blog. I prefer to "blow" someone else's instead... :p

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I finally overcame my mental obsession. I've been living a double life for a while, trading in a lot of my personality for the compromise the other end doesn't even appreciate. I decided to take it back. I realize people are just different, I can't forever be a faceless, selfless person to satisfy other's mental needs. I don't know exactly how, but it happened one morning this past year. And in that, I think I finally find part of myself back.

I guess deep down, I'm not the kind who express their feelings comfortably to others, maybe even close ones.

I love the rain. It's a luxurious life moment, might be sadly alone, or happily romantic, nevertheless self-conscious of the beauty of the moment. I love the sound of rain gently tapping on glass, the sound it makes as it trickles off of the roof, gurgles its way through the gutter and down to the ground. Something about it is just soothing to me on so many levels. Memories of going camping, sleeping in tents and hearing the gentle tapping of rain pelting the roof of the tent, memories of running through puddles for the sheer joy of getting muddy.

Kinda makes me philosophical. One raindrop falling from the sky, billions of other raindrops but one little raindrop made me stop and look. It trickles down the windshield, leaving a meandering path, at points it meets up with other raindrops, travels with them for a while and eventually goes its own way again, sometimes it stops in one place and holds steady for a while before continuing on. A lifetime lived in the blink of an eye. Then I look up toward the sky, and realize, maybe... just maybe.... we're all just raindrops on the cosmic car windshield.

Right now, I'm more of hearing the night ticker by, like a gurl on a strange island. I need to talk to myself to have myself back to me.

[Hehe... I do not wish to own a blog. I prefer to "blow" someone else's instead... :p] I bet you've been "blowing" off alot of other people's blog, haven't you? *grin*

I bet you’d like the song “rhythm of the falling rain”. A very cute old song but I’m not who’s the original singer.

I really like the way you put things into perspective. You make simple things sound so complicated and meaningful. I guess that’s the thing with most women (I meant that in a good way). Try telling the raindrop story to a guy and he’d probably scratch his head. Not that he is insensitive but guys are just like that. They see rain as rain and nothing else.

Let’s say a guy wins a prize, he’d be thinking to spend it but if a lady was to win it, she’s be thinking more about the validation of her win. She’d feel that she has proved to the world that she can do it, that she is capable. Men compete for the prize, women compete for the validation.

But still your piece was nice *grin*

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Comment was initially posted on “comment response #2” Posted by: Anonymous

Your poem may suck but it's from your heart
May jingle and jangle but it's a brand new start
Great to see that you're quite alright
Don't leave to waste all your great might

I try to reply it back with a poem but I just suck. I just can’t come up with a poem on the fly. But it’s really nice of you. I really do appreciate it. Thanks.
Nothing makes my day better than someone affirming that my poem suck *grin*

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Comment was initially posted on “is this all too late?” Posted by: Umpossible

hey i love that song :P... Miss McLachlan rocks :P...thought you said you wrote everything yourself...hahahaha "paraphrasing" right? teeheehee :P ah welz..just wanted to applaud you for your great taste in music :P

toodles for now :P

Shhhh… you know I know enough la. Do you really have to bust me on this? But well, technically I did wrote everything myself. I was the one who typed it out :p But frankly, I used to hate Sarah McLachlan because I find her songs too slow for my liking but for some weird reasons I’m starting to like her now. Maybe I’m getting old, or perhaps I had too much of punk and ska that now I’ll just settle for serenity…

I spent almost a whole day changing the template. I actually got the template from a site but I am not going to give the original author any credits since I practically have to change almost all of the settings. So I am making this MINE *laugh*

I know you all could care less about it but at least do me a little a favor, tell me you like it. Lie to me if you have too. Tell me that what I did was worth it *cute puppy face*

Swimming: My eyes turn green because I can’t swim. I envy them for they can swim like a fish and glide thru water with ease. But I don’t understand the whole bodysuit thing. Who cares about aerodynamic? Swimming is supposed to be a spectators sport but there’s nothing to see when they cover up their whole body. Not that I got anything to lose since most of the women swimmers have got “not nice” body. Their shoulders are way too wide and they got no breast (flat chest I mean). I suppose female viewers are at lost since they didn’t get to see Ian Thorpe’s body because of the full body suit. Michael Phelps is good but he is too thin compared to Thorpe. They should bring back the old days where men swimmers only wear a trunk and female swimmers should only wear a 2-piece bikini *laugh*.

Volleyball: Female volleyball players really do have nice legs. Long and straight. But female volleyball is kind of boring. They hardly return a spike so most of the time they’ll just be trading points or blocking a spike hoping it will go in. Men volleyball is much better since you got to see longer rally more often. But really, female volleyball players really do have nice legs. It kinda reminds me of Mero Attack (not sure of the spelling). That show was really cool; I mean where else do you get to see “servis piring terbang”.

Weightlifting: Not sure which category but on this particular event, China won the gold medal. This China guy was the last lifter and during that last lift, he injured his back but he already won the event earlier. So he was helped to the dressing room by some guys and was lying down on the floor with agony in his face. And you know what our TV1 commentator said? He (the commentator) said that the China-man was lying there to relax after finishing the event. And then he saw the China-man crying so he assumes that he was crying because of joy. I mean, how blind can he (the commentator) be? The China-man injured his back and it was damn obvious that he was crying in pain and not tears of joy. Our local TV commentators really suck. And I hate it when they commentate on a soccer match. They got no idea what they’re talking about.

Fencing: This sport is actually meaningless. You score a point when you poke your opponent and who gets to poke his/her opponent 15 times will be the winner. They should change it to slashing instead of poking. Make it a first blood match. Whoever slashes their opponent to bleed first will be the winner. That would be much more interesting to watch. Those fencing swords are better suited for slashing than poking so use it the way as it should. Otherwise it’s a boring sport.

Diving: China rules, they practically swept all the gold medals. But too bad during one of the synchronized diving events, one of the China-man screwed up and messed up the whole thing. They were already leading but ended up in last place because of it. And then there’s this Newberry couple from Australia. The wife won the women diving event but the husband suck big time. He couldn’t even get to the top 8 for the 3-meter springboard event. 2 of our women diving representatives didn’t made it thru the first round. I kinda like Leung Mun Yee. She’s cute but too bad she didn’t do well. Maybe next time *grin*

This is the final installment of the “William looking for sex partner” story.

Part 1 – sigh… what can I say
Part 2 – open comment response
Part 3 – follow up response
Part 4 – william looking for sex partner – part four
Part 5 - william looking for sex partner – part five
Part 6 - william looking for sex partner – part six

Comment was initially posted on “william looking for sex partner – part six” Posted by: Anonymous.

End of an epic saga...

Charming Guy says:
you know .. i dont think i want to fuck you anymore ..
Me says: huh
Me says: how come???
Charming Guy says: you too good already ...
Me says: hahaha
Charming Guy says: dont really spoil you ..

Does he just show some conscience? Well, maybe he prefers bad girls or maybe he’s just trying some reverse psychology thing. But anyway I wish him luck in his marriage and hopefully he won’t get a daughter. What comes around goes around.

Comment was initially posted on “comment response #1” Posted by: Anonymous

Are you sure that if give you choose again, you will take her. If in that case, thing is not too late yet. Cause she still single so r u, you may just ask her to give you a 2nd chance. Who knows, she is happy to hear from you. Well, that is no guarantee on you won't get any worse than now (if she has been your gf), im sure you know how complecated in Love relationship. Otherwise, there will be nobody suffer because of "love". Good Luck!!

Things are a little too late now. She is single in terms of marriage but she’s with someone now. And I just don’t think I’ll ever snatch a girl from another guy. Not that I can’t but I won’t *grin*. She knew that I had a crush on her but it’s just too bad that things happened at the wrong time. If only we could have met under different circumstances, perhaps I’d be writing a happy story instead of a sad one *sigh* I don’t need luck, I just need a 7 with high self-esteem (numbers higher than 7 are welcomed too *laugh*)

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Comment was initially posted on “women & self-esteem” Posted by: Anonymous

pain pain pain pain. kampai cheers stout cheers. pain killer doesn't goes well with kampai and stout, make my tummy cramp, met my roomate in chilled out, then i met merv, then back to my table, merv gone, roomie still with her friends, ahhhh i spotted some one.. dam.. he really has the look.. so pleasant looking, i stare and stare, he try to pretend cocky at first, then he came over and ask, hi, something worng with my hair? why are u staring?

why not? good and nice looking thing are meant for display. wear ur mask next time if u dun like it, coz u r equipt with such a good looking face. both smile and cheers. he has a pair of very chinese eyes, and nicely pithced nose, reasonably complexion, average height and nice body built, not too muscular nor skinny, just yumie.

unfortunately, can't stay long, friend leaving, so now drunk srunk mind and high hi heat.

[then he came over and ask, hi, something worng with my hair? why are u staring?] That was cool.

[good and nice looking thing are meant for display] Exactly. The next time when I stare at some girls and they give me “you are a pervert” kinda stare, I’m going to ask them to go wrap themselves up in a ‘jubah’ (those black clothes Arab women use to wear, covering 99.9% of the body) Don’t wear tight fitting clothes if you hate getting stared. God gives me eyes so that I could admire his creations *wink*

Maybe you should start your own blog or something. I’m pretty sure you have a lot to say or rant.

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Comment was initially posted on “is this all too late?” Posted by: Anonymous

This is a great song.. :)

"Love's Divine"

........

click here for the full lyric of the song (the bottom comment)

Thanks *grin*

Try this song, Alias – More than words can say. If you are as old as I am (I’m still young btw), I’m sure you might have heard of it one time or another. A really nice old song and you might just like it. I first heard of it when I was in F2 or F3.

Comment was initially posted on “is this all too late?” Posted by: Anonymous.

Dream on my friend till the seas run dry
Or till the beating organ has depleted its sighs
Then through the sands of time of time of time
A new heart is energetised.
Let's celebrate my friend when you are done
With moaning and groaning and droning
For a new day has just begun :)

I suck in writing poem
But still I need to reply you
You could see how I suck at it
When I just rhymed poem with you
I wish that I could stop moaning and groaning
Not that I like it but I needed something to rhyme with drowning.
Man, I really suck big time in poem-ing

We shall celebrate for it’s a new dawn
A new day has begun and I know it’s a good one
And thanks to you, I’ve just written a sucky one :)

Since there aren’t many comments, I guess I’ll just reply them thru an individual post. I don’t really get many readers around here so this is the least I could do to show my gratitude *smile*

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Comment was initially posted on “is it too late now?” Posted by: Anonymous.

cannot say that it is too late. It's part of fate. When she ready that time, you don't. Then she give up on you. Only lately you realise that, it is painful than what you thought earlier on. Well, i think. If let you have the power to turn the time again, you still will choose to let her go. Then why you still ask yourself "is it too late?" or not.

Very well said *grin*. Some things you can’t see until it’s too late. It turns out more painful than I earlier thought it would. But if I were to choose again, I’d take her coz I’m sure it couldn’t get any worse than now *wink*

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Comment was initially posted on “women & self-esteem” Posted by: птица (Ptiza) Odelay

How about a 5 with killer flexibility?

Now that’s a tough one *scratching head*. But I guess that depends on the situation. If I’m looking for a long term relationship, I’d go for the 7 with high self-esteem. If I’m looking for someone to look good with, I’d go for the 10 with low self-esteem. But if I want some out-of-the-world hot, steamy, uninhibited raw passion of ultimate bliss, I guess I’d go for the 5 with killer flexibility. Different problems call for different solutions *wink*

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Comment was initially posted on “is it too late now?” Posted by: Soo Chin

copy from which chinese drama one ?

Soo chin, I am being sad here and all you do is patronize me. I wrote everything myself and you say I copied it from some Chinese soap operas. *sigh* Me very the disappointed *grin*. But still you are a good friend and a good person, otherwise Mr. K wouldn’t have held his love for you for so long, right? *laugh*

Comment was initially posted on “demons revisited”. Posted by: Anonymous.

"I give alot
I take alot
It's nothing new to me"

I'm torn. I've been teared apart, my heart has been ripped out, now i'm a walking corpse. I can hardly eat or sleep, took 3 sleeping pills last night and forced myself to sleep. This morning when i woke up, i stood infront of mirror for more than 10 minutes. I was observing myself. My eyes are read, my face is pale, i look dead. And i thought to myself, "Is this me?"

Saw my ex with another girl the other day, and i know the girl. She's my best friend. Atleast i thought, she was my best friend. I am such a fool. I am so stupid. After all the efforts and time i've wasted, all i get in return is betrayal. How long have they been lying to me? I wonder. If it wasn't me proposed the idea of breaking up, he would have date us both at the same time? How am i supposed to believe in love now? Just when i thought my life was getting better, suddenly it hit me again. I wonder, how many times must i take this? I can hardly stand this anymore. Why does the one i love always hurt me? Was i not being sincere enough? Was it all my fautls..? I'm questioning myself, i don't believe in love anymore. I feel so ashamed of myself.

Instead of asking yourself “is this me?” you should ask “is this all worth it?” I know I am in no position to judge but I really don’t think it is worth it to feel like crap just because of a guy (a useless guy in your case). It’s ok to be sad and wallow in it for a while but just try not to wallow in it for too long. It hurts you inner-self.

What is love? I do not know. Do I believe in love? Maybe, maybe not but who cares? But I do believe in happiness and that’s for sure. Will love make me happy? Yes. Do I need love to be happy? No. You don’t really need love to be happy. In our society these days, love is as good as a promise made by a Malaysian politician. It looks and sounds good but whether it is really that good or not, it’s hard to judge.

[Why does the one i love always hurt me? Was i not being sincere enough? Was it all my fautls..? I'm questioning myself, i don't believe in love anymore. I feel so ashamed of myself.] Why don’t you think that perhaps it wasn’t your fault at all? Why question yourself only and not the guy? So you really think that everything happens because you weren’t good enough and that you are to blame for everything? You proposed for the break up so you did made the right decision. Shit happens. You just got to learn how to deal with it, it’s not easy but it’s sure worth a try.

I came across this article recently. It’s actually on how to identify high self-esteem women and how to deal with them. But I’ve taken it out of its original context because the point I am trying to make here is not to teach people how to identify high self-esteem women but is to illustrate the distinction between high and low self-esteem women.

The article is long even after I’ve taken out all the unnecessary stuffs so if you have any problem understanding it, READ IT AGAIN. Read it until you have the full understanding of what the article says. Make sure you get the meaning of each word, check the dictionary if you have too (I did that). Personally, I believe this article to be very true and important and that everyone should read it.

All this while I find that women with confidence to be very attractive. Not that it’s not true but I realized that I have been using the wrong word all along. It should have been self-esteem instead of confidence. And come to think of it, women with high self-esteem are actually better than women with high confidence in most cases. High confidence women could sometimes turn out to be a bitchy feminist who can’t lose but women with high self-esteem on the other hand are actually very nice. One can fake confidence but not self-esteem.

I’m not being judgmental here but I do believe that some women really should be aware on why they are doing all the wrong things every time. Why they always do things that are against their own best interest. They always say that they want a nice guy but when presented with an option between a nice guy and an asshole, they are more likely to go for the asshole.

Not that by merely reading an article it would change anything but for those who have kids, at least it could come as some help for their daughters (and sons) to have a healthy self-esteem.

Here’s the .:.article.:.

Read this after you finish reading the article first.

The only drawback of Daddy’s Girls is that they are hard to please. They expect to be treated like princess like how her father used to treat her. They might even throw unreasonable tantrums out of the blue. They drive guys crazy with frustrations. Most guys will bow down to it and admit defeat when it wasn’t even his fault to begin with. Daddy’s Girl wants a guy like daddy. Treat them right like daddy do and bust them on their unreasonable behaviors just like daddy would. There’s actually another way in dealing with Daddy’s Girl according to the article but for safety reasons I decided to omit it.

I vouch for each and every word on the article. It’s true in every sense especially the last paragraph. Btw, I got no sisters incase if you think that I made a comparison between the article and my sisters. I vouch for the article based on what I know and what I’ve seen. I’ve seen a lot of examples on girls doing things that they shouldn’t have and I couldn’t really figure out why. This article is not the answer but at least it gives a better understanding (on why some girls always do things against their best interest).

Between a 10 with low self-esteem and a 7 with high self-esteem, I’d take the 7 any day.

This is the lyric of the song Alone by Heart. Pretty much sums up everything from my shitty moment. Especially the last 2 lines… *long long sigh*

I hear the ticking of the clock
I'm laying here, the room's pitch dark
I wonder where you are tonight
No answer on the telephone
And the night goes by so very slow
Oh I hope that it won't end though

Till now I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone

You don't know how long I have wanted
To touch your lips and hold you tight
You don't know how long I have waited
And I was going to tell you tonight

But the secret is still my own
And my love for you is still unknown

p/s: this is a really good song.

Comment originated from "william looking for sex partner - part six"

yeah, i think you are right. thks dearie.
*hehehe... i heard u like ppl call you that... LOL*

Yeah, I kind of miss that *grin* Thanks. You’ve just made my day a whole lot better. Have a nice weekend.

Comment originated from "the demons within" post.

well.. i guess i has been putting myself into restriction for too long.

from dad saying u have to u should study good good... for brighter future.. bla bla bla..

mom say u should know ways to clean here n there so that u won't be in a mess....

lecturer say this and that....

i restrict myself from doing lotsa thing just to follow people restriction towards what i wanna do... i think i have propose long time ago that i am going to do.. i think most probably, it is about time i put and leave all the restrictions that i am baring now and heading towards what i wanna do.

i do not wish to think too much about how other feel or how other will be disappointed with what am i going to do, i do not want to know will they blame themself or will they hate me... i do not think i have the energy to tolerance with others restrictions... i want to walk my way .. i want to show off... with what i can do... i do not want to care if they will blame themself or they will be sad or they will feel disappointed.. i don care anymore... i hope i will feel better by that way... people judge my dids saying what i has been doing all this while is just because i want to be the champion, so i guess everyone will feel better if i say now i am losing all and i am a loser... let them feel great with it.. because i know, no matter what i do, people just will never understand me...

well recently i have taken lots of pics, lots of video clips, and recorded my own stories... file by file i zipped it... i hope... when the days that people finally want to have the intention to now me will find out from there.. i don't think i want to wait for too long.. i just ... well.. i do not want to know what happen if i do this or what is the consequences if i do other things.. i am too tired to think and think..

i do not want to care i do not want to clarified anything else.. i am tired of explaining and listening and being understanding.. i am sick of life... too tired.. yeah.. i should be resting by now or sooner...

yet, i still have a hope... hope everyone has a better tomolo , a tomolo that they really wants it...

by the way, i did the almost the last thing that i need to do.. cut off those that i should, so that someone else could remain a better connectios with, with me in between, things will be sour sooner or later.. makes the small thing big, pissed the one off... and i did it :) chat with a friend about that.. feel great and luckily that friend support my did... feel glad.. :)

well... i am off today .. having my mc... and from tomolo onwards, my two weeks notification to resign activated...

from then .. i will have my time.. in my room, fully utilise my brain cells, squezzing my mentallity... well.. hmm... what else..

wtf.. this not my final blog... so why do i sound like i am... no i am not... this is not my final day... i still have long way to go... kehahahahah....

u will never know when or which is the last.... or the best... welll....

To lose all hope is to have freedom and I believe that’s what you are doing now. If you care, you’ll just get disappointed all the time. If you don't care, nothing matters so you are never upset. You feel liberated in a way. Lose all hope now and I am sure soon you’ll come to a point where you’ll start to see things differently. You could never really know what is white until you’ve been thru the darkest of black. For a man to truly live, he has to die once.

We should live to our own expectations and not others. Why put your happiness on other’s hand? When I was young, I always wanted to win. And just winning is not enough because I want more. I want them to recognize my win (the highest level of winning or in Cantonese “sam fok hau fok” *sigh*). So indirectly my happiness was not in my own hands anymore. I am not happy when others do not recognize my win. I am not happy when I lose. I am not happy because I can’t make myself happy on my own. I need the participation of others in order to make myself happy. But now I don’t even care if I win or lose. Heck, I don’t even want to compete anymore.

[well recently i have taken lots of pics, lots of video clips, and recorded my own stories] It sounds like you are documenting your legacy. Why not hire a historian and write it all into a book. It should make an interesting read *grin*

[people just will never understand me... ] You do not need anyone to understand you. At the end of the day, you only have yourself to answer to. You are a great person; we all are in our own way. If others can’t see that then too bad for them because it’s their lost. And who needs a person who doesn’t know how to appreciate good things anyway.

[.. feel great and luckily that friend support my did... feel glad.. :)] Good to hear that. It’s always nice to have someone around. And I too hope that you have a better tomorrow. A tomorrow that you really want *grin*

[u will never know when or which is the last.... or the best... welll....] Exactly, we will never know. There is no such thing as lasting perfection. Most of us, everyday we work our ass off but for what? Yes, we work for a better future, a more stable life, a life with fewer things to worry about. But who could promise us that no shit is going to happen tomorrow? Sometimes it seems things go by too quickly. We are so busy watching out for what's ahead of us that we no longer take the time to enjoy where we are.

What Tyler had created was the shadow of a giant palm made from strategically placed logs. Only now the fingers were too long and the thumb was too short, but he said that at exactly 4:30 PM the hand was perfect. The giant shadow hand was perfect for one minute, and for one perfect minute Tyler had sat in the palm of perfection he’d created himself. Tyler said, “One minute was enough. A person had to work hard for it, but a minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection” – Fight Club, Chapter 3.

I actually thought of not writing anymore on Malaysian Idol but just got a little bored so I’m going to write a couple of things.

I really do not think Jac should be in this competition. She has been singing for 8 years. And she makes her living thru singing so obviously she has got a lot of vocal training and on stage experience. So it’s unfair for the others. I mean, look at some of the other contestants; they are only like 19 or 21. Jac is 25. I know she can sing but seriously, the only reason why she can sing is because she has been doing it for the past 8 years.

And secondly, I have to give it to Vick. I was really impressed. He sang the song like a Malay. I’ve seen a lot of Chinese speaking in Malay and they suck. But he seriously pronounced each and every word they way it’s supposed to. I am not trying to brag but I know a Chinese who speaks good Malay when I see one and Vick is definitely one of them. *I’ve been speaking in Malay for 12 years so just try not to second guess me on this.

As for Paul, he really does suck this time. What do you mean cynical? Let me tell you what is cynical. Cynical is when you are jealous because Vick could sing in Malay, Chinese and English. Not like you who contradict with everything you say.

You said Vick was trying to play to the audience by showing off his ability to sing in Malay. Let’s think about it for a while. This is only the top 10. Does he really need to show off his “singing in Malay song” capability so early? I can bet that even if he sings nonchalantly, he could still get to the top 5. It would have been better to blow everyone away during the top 3 or even the final 2 instead of doing it so early. You keep the best for last.

And remember last week where Jac sang in Malay? Why didn’t you say Jac is being cynical too? And for the Malay contestants who sang in English. Why didn’t you say that they are just “showing off” their capability in singing in English and trying to play to the international audience? Or maybe they are trying to get on your good side, Paul. Yeah, you could even say to the contestants, “you are cynical because you sung in English and you are trying to impress me”.

Paul, you are a nice guy but you can’t just simply call someone cynical. It’s really rude. How could you know what was Vick’s intentions? By calling him cynical, you are actually being prejudice. You are questioning his intentions based solely on your own standpoint. I can really see that Vick was genuinely sincere when he delivers that song and I believe many will agree with me. There was nothing cynical. The only thing cynical are you, Paul, being a prejudice white ass who contradicts with everything you say (sounds like a woman to me *grin*)

p/s: I am not a nice guy so I can call him an ass. Btw, i sent this to 8TV quickie since they don't have a Malaysian Idol email add. We'll see if they reply me *grin*

comment originated from my "she never really liked you" post

i am not sure.. the more i try to think hard the more uncertainties.

the game? fun? happy?sad? crying over it? celebrating it? hate it? sastisfied? angry? hurting me? hurting someone else? shall i bother? shall i think somemore? shall i do a review? shall i regenerate my soul?

about life, i am wondering, why must why shall why should a summary like this to be reality? ain't funny ain't weird, as it is the expected unexpectation. when mention about chain, if u think someone is trap along a chainage, try not to think of escaping, indeed, a chain reaction. I dun need human to understand me or my lines, because i accept the fact that no one can ever understand me. i am not a self destructive person for someone, but i am for myself. if u ever been through, i deserve no right to be commented by you.

i only answer questions that worth the curiosity forwarded to me. if u simply ask, i dun think it worth the value of my answer. when i think it doesn't worth, it won't be a point for me to answer. so why the heck should someone doing something for a pointless something?

however, when i was drunk this morning with my remaining Chivas and Dunhill with a little weed, something happen to shoot and keeps on flashing in my mind:

it takes about 9 months to create my cels and nerves,
it takes 20 years to create my spirit and soul,
it only takes 3 years to sweep my devinity mental strength,
it takes only 3 months to end my crisis,
and finally it need only 3 minutes to stop my breathing.

[so why the heck should someone doing something for a pointless something?] It’s the same answer as to why someone could be self-destructive. You know it’s pointless but you still do it. You know you are going to harm yourself but you still do it. Everyone has their own reason. Nobody understands nobody.

No one can ever understand what another person has been thru. No one has any right to comment because they could never know how it feels to be you or me or anyone else. But it’s better to have been commented by someone, anyone, rather than being ignored. This is not about vanity nor is this about validation. This is about having that one person who cared enough to be there. Not someone who understands, but just someone to be there.

You know what; I think you’ll going to like this book - Heavier Than Heaven: The Biography of Kurt Cobain by Charles R. Cross. You don’t have to be a fan or Nirvana or Kurt to appreciate this book. It’s a story of a smart lovely kid who thought the world is “perfect” but soon realizes it’s an ugly world out there. He seeks solace in his music and drugs. No one could understand him; everyone thinks he is destroying himself but to him, he is just finding peace. And finally, he found peace. May God have mercy on his soul. p/s: if you hated it, let me know, i'll be glad to take it from you

We all have demons in us. We all have dark secrets. And some are worse than others. Nobody is perfect even if they appear to be. We seem to be “perfect” and intact on the outside, but inside we’re about to fall apart. Inside we’re all a little fragile.

Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's deafening. - Buffy Summers.

The kind of love that even as it begins you know is preordained to break your heart and to end like a Greek tragedy – the love of many for Kurt Cobain. And the reason why I let her slipped away.

seriously, i dunno whether should i or should i not continue this. i felt very SAD for his wife. hmm... wat will happen if she eventually somehow found out??? wat would i do IF i m in her shoes??? (*touch wood*) gosh... i dare not even think of the consequences. am i BAD for doing this??? for disclosing his little secret??? for destroying their life??? (*he told me dat he loves his wife very much*)... LIFE'S SUX...

Btw, he promised to send me his wedding photos soon. how soon??? dunnno. but soon...

Just forget the whole thing. First, he’s married so if it does broke out, it wouldn’t be nice (for his wife). And second, you are starting to feel “serba salah”. Ignorance is the best policy right now.

p/s: There’s no way on earth that I’m going to use a wedding photo for a defamation campaign (not that I am going to start one anyway *grin*)

First of all, I actually thought for a while whether I should post this or not. There are just way too many explicit words in it. So please read the disclaimer first. Comment originated from the part four post

Name : William Wong
Age : 28 years old
Marital Status : Married (6 months)
Designation : Software Developer
Place of Work : Cyberjaya
Favourite Past time : Play computer games, watch movies, sleep
(if sex can be my usual past time will be good)
Favourite Books : Exotic, Erotic, Japanese sex comics (with English translation) See also http://www.literotica.com
Special Skills : Master in Western style cooking
Sexual Preference : Small size butt girl (but dun do butt), Doggy style, 69
Sexual Fantasy : Having sex in pool
Describe good sex : Good sex must be passionate, lasting and enjoying
Must be kinky, playful and the partner must be supportive

The Last Experience: (Warning for 18 and above only)
Met a 23 years old girl from the Internet (ahmoi.com). We went to Mid Valley. Started to test the girl by slowly holding her hand and see what her response is first. She let me hold her hand. Then I started to be daring a bit to see how her reaction is. Such as stroking her back, get more body contact, wrap my arms around her. She accepted it. Then I know that she is a bit bitchy too. Then we go to makan. I brought her to Chillis. Instead sitting opposite her as what normal ppl does.. I just sit beside her. And find the corner sitting that is not really noticeable. I started to seduce her there. Such as saying that I have book a hotel room in Cititel. Find ways to touch on her laps. Kiss her neck sometimes. Well touching her laps on that time really turn her on. I go to the toilet and then take off my underwear. And when coming back I let her know that I'm not wearing any and show her my underwear. I told her whether she would dare to do the same. She went and took off hers as well. By the time both of us were too hot so we quickly go back to the hotel. She was a bit shy to go in together with me, so I just get the key and tell her the room number. When she got into the room, I began to talk to her. Tell her how sexy she was and then let her have some wine while we talk and I began to got closer to her. Slowly touching her hand, rubbing her laps then kissed her and she responded back. We had a really good kiss then French kisses. Then slowly I began to take off her shirt, kiss her neck and shoulder while I began to untie her bra. Then I move her to the bath room, we bath together, rubbing each other body together with the soap while holding tight each other; spending sometime together there. Then I began to clean her up before we went to the bed. I blindfolded her and began to work on her. I began to kiss her while my hand began to touch her body, rub her body with my gentle touch. Then I began to neck her, kiss her neck, ears and sometimes also suck it while I use my finger to play with her nipples making it hard. Then I kiss and lick further down to her breast while my hand now slips down under her tights rubbing her tights and laps but not touching any part of her pussy. I also play with her nipples using my tongue; circulate my tongue around her nipples. I began to move on top of her and started to suck her breast and nipples and sometimes gentle biting it. I would then go further down kiss and lick her tummy, playing with her belly button touching her tights. I open up her leg. By that time I was exploring her whole body and her pussy wanted me very much and she cannot stand until call me to fuck her now. I began to spread her pussy and began to lick her pussy hard. And began to lick her clit using my tongue and flipping up and down. Then I move into a 69 position with her with she on top and since she is so horny now she allow me to finger fuck her while she continue playing with my cock and sucking it gently. From her body language I can see that she going to cum soon. So I move her and spreading her pussy wide and I began to suck, lick her pussy wildly until she cum and she is the only woman I know that she can ejaculate a lot of pussy juice out. After that, she just let me fuck her in anyway I want. Do you know that you let a woman cum first, it’s much more benefit to a guy. The woman will in return try her best to satisfy your needs and let you fuck her in any position and any way you want her to. They sometimes so pity about you that they have cum and you are not so they will try to do anything to make you feel good also. But she’s so so only. She too rough in blowjob until sometimes I have to stop her. She don’t fuck around very often it’s like a once in a while kind of things for her. Btw she has a bf. She just sometimes likes to fuck around.

How many responded to your mail:
Around 10
 College girl, 21 yrs old, RM300, no kissing, just fucking, no blowjob and only 45 minutes.
 GRO, 23 yrs old, RM 300 .. can fuck anyway you want, blowjob but no butt and 2 hours.
 Another charged RM2000 but she damn pretty. She said she usually get this kind of prices. She a part time model. http://www.friendx.com/cgi-bin/app.cgi?m=Profile&c=ShwProfile&UsrName=khorlixie

********************************************************

LOL... to be continued...

I seriously felt sad for this poor chap and for his wife too.

So he’s a software developer. Must be a very smart guy but he has lost touch of reality. Usually people who are good in programming and stuffs, they are a bit “off” in certain parts of their brain. I am not saying all but most. He surfs too much for porn. And I can bet he loves to watch Japanese porn too. A friend once told me that if a guy loves Japanese porn then that guy must be a little sick (or even a total psycho).

There’s actually a thing with programmers. They aren’t really like any of your average Joe (meaning they aren’t really what you call normal). I mean, they are normal in most sense but their way of thinking is different. Just like graphic designers, they are "different". This William guy has lost touch of reality. At first I thought he was a normal person who believed sharing sexual pleasure but now he is just a wreck.

1. He is married and at the same he is searching for new sex partner. Obviously he is cheating on his wife now. I called him an idiot in my last post, so for this post, I’m going to call him a bastard.

2. At first I thought all the people he had sex with are mutual. Meaning you don’t pay for it. 2 people have fun and that’s it. But now it’s apparent that he PAYS to fulfill his fantasy. To me he is plain stupid. Paying thousands just to get laid? Come on, you can’t be more pathetic than that.

I seriously got nothing more to add. This guy needs help. Casual relationships is acceptable, one night of raw passion is acceptable (it has to be mutual obviously). But paying? William, you are sad and pathetic and you are living a miserable life. Yes, you have your fun on bed but I can tell you this. Your life is EMPTY.

p/s: It would be really “nice” to have his picture. I could start a defamation campaign *evil laugh*

From now on, I’m going to start replying comments (not all, only the worthy ones) with an individual post. Makes things a little more interesting *grin*

This is the continuation from my “sigh… what can I say”, “open comment response” and “follow up response” post. I think I need to give this a name. So I’ll just call it “William: An epic saga of a kinky and horny man in search of the ultimate sexual escapade” or in short “William looking for sex partner” *laugh*. I think this post should be part four by now.

my oh my... the bait is bitten... oooo. Take a look at his reply...

*******************************************************

Hi,

Everyone has their sexual preference. Dont expect me to be like a "bandaraya" that will take anything lying on the ground. Frankly speaking, I'm looking for someone who is exotic that enjoys fine expensive cruisine, romantic moment and of course enjoys sex. I would love most is to know a woman that is daring in expressing her sexual preference and also would sometimes take the lead by telling the men what she want. She also enjoys kinky erotic sex such as having a quicky in the mall changing room, playing sex toys and enjoys sex party.

I think this kind of gal is very hard to find in our country alone. Well, I been having sex before in sunway lagoon surf pools as the water there is quite dark and hardly can see when you deep into the water. I'm actually having it with a girl there .. on top it may just that the 2 of us is like a couple hugging each other but the bottom part we are actually having sex. This is just part of my experience.

If you wanted more i can tell you .. and if really one day we come out .. you can expect that you will be wet all day long and having your senses stimulate erotically.

William

*******************************************************

...to be continued

Ok, now we have a name, William.

Seriously, he seems like a smart guy but at the same time, I got this gut feeling that tells me he is also an idiot. Maybe he’s like William Hung who has high IQ but doesn’t look or act like one.

[Dont expect me to be like a "bandaraya" that will take anything lying on the ground] – He is talking about dignity here. How honorable *rolls eyeballs*. If he doesn’t want be to like “bandaraya” then why don’t he go out and take his pick of women instead of scouring thru the net blindly. To me, he is not “bandaraya” but he is just plain desperate. I could bet that he’ll get hard on if he sees a chicken ass right now (I know that was mean but I just couldn’t help it, sorry *very loud laugh*)

I now seriously believe that this guy has got no respect for women. He treats women like an object or a personal conquest. I know some guys who are into casual relationships but I too know that they treat women with respect and not objectify them. If you want to sleep with someone, go ahead. If you want to change partner, go ahead. But in respect of the women you’ve been with, just please don’t talk about it. People will start to respect you if you do that. At least I know I would (damn, I am good in lying *grin* but I do mean everything I say except maybe for the last line).

This William guy does not believe in monogamy and he believes that the pleasure of sex should be shared. That sounds fine to me. But for him use his sexual escapade with other women to boost himself, that is despicable. It’s like saying, the more girls I sleep with, the more of a man I am (stupid male ego I have to admit). If he is really that good, he doesn’t need to bring up his past experience to boost himself (which means he is not good).

I feel rather sorry for the girls who had been with him. To him they are merely a part of his personal ego-craving conquest. But on another perspective, some girls do actually ask for it (but I’m not saying they deserve it, got difference one ok). Not all girls are good. The reality is, even good girls do bad things.

For the person who posted the comment: Hey, don’t tell him anything about all this ok? Just see how far you could push it first then only break it to him that he has been the leading actor of an “epic saga” *laugh*. I think he’s going to whack me when he find out about this *grin*

One man’s misery is another man’s happiness. It feels good to be bad sometimes (but I am still a very nice person *wink*)

The comment below originated from me “feeling soft hence the crap” post.

Well... i used to think i wanted to get married and have children by the time i was 21 but... i seriously doubt thats gonna happen. i still have three years though, which is one more than you. and i have a back up plan. i have a guy who's willing to marry me by the age of thirty if we both aint married, and if he happens to be married, i have another back up plan for age thirty five.i'm actually facing a similar problem in terms of commitment and all that mooshy shit. cest la vie dearie.. cest la vie.
*haha i'm listening to louis armstrong what a wonderful world... lalala happy happy gay gay.

No offence but don’t you think 21 is a bit too young to be married? Personally, I think girls (and guys for that matter) aged between 18 and 22 are not “ting sing” (I don’t know how to explain this in English, its Cantonese btw) enough to get married. Settling down "till death do us part" at such a young age is a high-risk proposition, don’t you think? I do hope you don’t get married before you are at least 25, for your own good *grin*

Well, glad to hear you’ve got backup plans *grin*. Actually, I did think of such backup plan too. But then I saw this TV show (Ed) where 2 lawyers agreed to marry each other if both of them aren’t married by the age of 35. So when the day comes (both 35 and not yet married), the girl decided not to go along with it. So the guy sued the girl in court (both of them actually signed a pre-marital agreement since they were both law students at that time). So that got me thinking, what if I have a change of heart and don’t want to get married with that girl? What if I am not ready to get married yet? Or maybe by then I would have lost faith in marriage all together.

But I think I’ll make a backup plan for age 70 thou *laugh*. Now the problem is finding a willing taker *sigh*

p/s: it’s been a while since I last saw someone use the word dearie :) And thanks for your compliment you posted on the other comment.

Preface: this whole things started out with my “sigh… what can I say” post. A reader posted a comment. And then I replied to the comment thru my “open response comment” post. And today, the same reader posted another comment and I felt I should put it out as an individual post. So here’s the comment.

http://www.ahmoi.com/pages/index/detail.php?who=mycharmguy
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi,
I'm 28 chinese male currently residing in KL. I believe in sex should be enjoy not only with one partner
but we should enjoy it with multiple partner.

Although, this make create a risk, I never stop practice safe sex.

I'm kinky, horny and experience in making you cry with orgasm and i would loves to have these intimate moment together. You may out that i can really make you
feel satisfy and erotically fill as i am the guy who basically try out most of the kinky and uninmaginable sexual act.

If you are interested, kindly reply this mail together with your contact number?

********************************************************

Whoa... he is trying REAL HARD. Received this twice oredy... LOL!

Ok, this is official. This poor guy is REALLY SAD.

By the sound of it, I don’t think the guy is stupid or anything. He seems pretty smart (trying to be polite) to me but why is he doing all this to himself? I know he is desperate, but why can’t he just go out and hit on some women FOR REAL? I think the chances for him to score if he does it for real are higher than doing it behind the computer. Unless he sucks at hitting on women. That would explain everything.

I seriously laughed when I read the last sentence. After all the things he said, he actually used the word “kindly”. He makes it sounds so innocent.

For the person who posted the comment: Why don’t you play along and ask him to send you his picture. I mean just for the sake of it. Dangle a hope in front of him and he’d probably do anything you say. I am not asking you to meet him or anything of that sort, don’t get me wrong. Just reply him, give him the idea that he might be getting lucky and see how far you could push it. It could be fun. Desperate people will do anything. *laugh* Anyway, that’s just a bad suggestion from me, better to just ignore it.

*got the idea to post this from a friend. And btw, none of the following are my words. I did not write this. I just plagiarized it from somewhere and the title too ;) For safety reasons, read the disclaimer first

A guy from Boston, age 29-35 asked:
How do women feel about casual sex? Could you meet a guy and have sex with him within, say, an hour? I basically want to get it on with every attractive woman I meet. Do women have these "primal" impulses like guys do?

A female student age 18-21 from Denver answered:
Women want to act on primal urges all the time. I certainly want to, but I rarely do it. It would kill my reputation, and it's just not worth it.

A cool mom age 22-25 from San Antonio answered:
Most women don't care for casual sex for a number of reasons. Some don't care for sex that much and only do it in the context of a relationship; some have moral or religious issues; others fear STD's. This doesn't mean we don't have primal impulses; rather, it's that we're more picky about acting on them than men are.

Would I personally meet a guy and have sex with him within an hour? Nowadays, the odds are against it, but I did it a few times when I was younger (18 or so). I'm 25 now, and it would take a mighty good-looking, intelligent, sincere guy whom I feel an irresistible sexual heat with to get me to take it to that point -- and even then I'd probably only let it get to the petting stage. The first thing that would pop into my head is, "I really like this guy... do I really want to screw it up by making myself look like a tramp?"

Ok, the following are my words.
I am not saying all but both answers do boil down to 1 thing. Women do not just sleep with anyone because they are afraid it might ruin their reputation, very true. But if you could take away this particular fear/concern (the reputation thingy) from women, all hell could break lose. It’s all in the mind. Seduce a girl thru her mind and she’ll stick to you forever (ok, that’s an overstatement. Just trying to make it a little more dramatic *laugh*)

Below is the comment response for me “sigh.. what can I say” post. The reason why I am putting this as an individual post is because it wouldn’t do it any justice to put it in a secluded section of a post (and the fact that I don’t feel like writing anything else for today *laugh*)

http://www.ahmoi.com/pages/index/detail.php?who=mycharmguy
--------------------------------------------------------
Hi, i\'m a chinese male who is kinky, sexy, fun loving, daring (in the bed)and sinful. If you are interested in expending your sexual experience or looking for sex partner .. please email me as i can fulfill your lust?
If you just need cash .. i can really pay for your service?
--------------------------------------------------------

Sigh... guys guys... SAD!

Yeah, sad I agree. But at least he is honest and he did not mislead anyone. He has a different kind of belief where he thinks that sex should not be limited to one partner (see his profile below). Did he try to con anyone of their money? No. And truth is, there are actually women out there who have the same belief in casual relationship. You have fun, I have fun. Period. Nothing in between.

I am not saying he is wrong nor am I saying he is right. But at least he did not say something like “send me 012 reload no and I’ll have sex with you”. What he is saying in his profile is that “you have sex with me, I have sex with you”. Trading sex for sex and that seems fair enough to me. Both people sharing the same interest and having fun.

His last sentence is rude, but you have to admit that some women would only do it for the sake of money. Ok, his last sentence is degrading to women and he is objectifying them. He needs to learn how to respect women more. And he is really rude to say such things. But other than that, I think he is just merely looking for women who share the same interest as him.

This is the guy’s profile.

Dont you think that s3x open!

I think that s3x should not be limited to one partner but to have it with multiple partner. If you are the kind of woman have the same interest, feel free to drop me a mail?

~ mycharmguy is seeking Someone who is s3xually active!!. ~

You'll Never Walk Alone - The Liverpool Anthem

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone...
You'll never walk alone

Michael Owen is going to Real Madrid. I could have been sad, but at least there's still Cisse and Baros at the club. And thank God Steven Gerrard didn't go. Anyway, I wish Owen all the best. Perhaps one day he will regret it. *laugh*

With or without Owen, it doesn’t matter. Liverpool will thrive regardless.

Once a reds, always a reds!

Call ME :-)

I staying alone in SS5 Kelana Jaya. I like to get online and get phone number from guys to chat whatever I want. If you wanna meet up or chat on the phone to know me,please send MAXIS Reload 012 to my email or by sending message to me on the button below(for those idiots).Please do include your name, handphone number and the reload number as well.RM30 for talking on anything on phone. RM60 for meet up. Hear from u soon.bye.. p/s:any message without meeting the criterias mentioned above will not be entertained. So,pls dun waste your time.To the guys who did what i had said,thanks and i enjoyed every moments with u. =). To those losers who just hope to gain something by trying to impress me with words, get a life

~ Sweety is seeking Love to talk in phone. ~

link to the profile

I came across this while browsing around ahmoi.com. Seriously, how can some women be so arrogant? From the way she say things, I am sure she is not stupid or uneducated to say the least, but why whore herself? She could have done something better with her brains rather than lowering herself into modern age prostitution?

I know that chances are she’ll just take the reload money and disappear. But what makes her think that this would actually work? True, one or two suckers might just fall for it (suckers who only know how to think with their dickhead) but it’s really sad to know that there’s some women who would actually do this kind of things just to get a few hundred bucks.

And it’s true that most men are suckers for anything sexual no matter how remote the idea is. But for a woman to make money of it is really despicable. I would understand it if she has got no respect for men but at least have some respect for herself. Why make herself cheap? Why promote herself as a sex object for a miserable RM30? Women blame men for objectifying them, but sometimes, it’s the women who objectify themselves.

This isn’t the first time I saw this. I’ve been on getting a few mails from some girls saying that they offer sex service in return of a RM60 reload coupon. I know this is probably a con job but if they really want to go into prostitution then by all means, do it the honest way. Give what you take. A street prostitute would have been more honest that any of these bitches and sluts (mind me, but these kind of female do not deserve my respect)

Being loser may not be a good thing. But at least it’s better than whoring oneself for a measly hundred. Talk about dignity. Or maybe I shouldn’t for I believe they do not have any to begin with.

p/s: I am not mad. I am just sad

Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

I’m having the same problem too. Nobody thinks I’m a genius. *sigh*

I am actually sticking out my neck here by writing this piece of crap. This crap actually makes me look “soft” and wimpy. But what the hell, as long as I am happy, nothing else matters.

Yesterday I had a chat with a friend. She asked me something and made me reflect on it. Why am I still single? Why am I not getting laid? (Not the exact words but something along the line). I laughed at it but I seriously couldn’t think of any comeback for that. So I just told her that perhaps, maybe I am gay. She asked me shove it and stop with the gay story already (she once believed that I was gay).

So I’ve been thinking. Why am I still single? To say that I can’t get a girl, I don’t think that’s the answer. I may not be the best looking guy but I know I am still capable of “conning” a girl *laugh*. So what’s the problem with me?

So after a few minutes of thinking (I think fast), I believe I’ve come to a conclusion on why I am the way I am now. I’m just worried. Worried that I might actually hurt someone. I am not a bad person nor am I an abusive asshole. I’m just a free spirit. A wild horse that’s hard to hold onto *laugh*. But I personally do believe that I am a very committed person but that is only if someone could get me to commit. True to a wild horse’s nature, he is hard to be tamed, but once you are able to tame him, the horse will stay faithful (I am now comparing myself to a horse, how sweet).

I’m a true Sagittarian. I would never hurt anyone intentionally and I don’t like to be hold down. It’s true that perhaps the one getting hurt might not be the girl but me. But I like said b4, women don’t upset me anymore. So I don’t really care much about myself if I get dumped but I’m worried on how the girl might take it if I happen to dump her? I know how it felt and it ain’t nice. I can’t be a jackass and wait for the girl dump me. That’s even worse.

Look in the papers and everywhere. Women attempting suicide and all when the guy left them. It’s actually quite scary. I seriously don’t think it’s worth it to make yourself suffer just because of a useless-no-good guy that never meant to be. I know that some women actually make themselves suffer just to make themselves feel better (whatever the logic is). It’s reasonable to be sad but making yourself suffer for months is crazy. And I can’t be the reason for a girl’s agony. I just can’t be that person (like I said b4, I am a very nice person ;)

In a relationship, a woman wants commitment, but I am not sure if I can give her that. I just don’t simply commit. When I commit, I commit, when I don’t, I don’t. There’s no in between. I know there are guys who “commit” in a relationship because of the convenience. The convenience of free sex. Even in marriage, some guys got married because they believe they can have sex anytime without paying (which is not really true actually).

So when I say that I am worried that I might hurt someone, I am referring to me commitment (lack of) and me wild horse nature. For me to commit, she has to have values (this is subjective, so I won’t explain). I used to think that, every time I like a girl, she’s the one. I see her as the “perfect” partner and that she is right for me and I want to be with her. But now, I realized that, I may need to go thru 99 failures/rejections before I get to the one. So from then on, every time I like a girl, to me she’s one of the possible 99 unless she can establish her values. I may sound like an ego-maniac but it’s true. You just can’t give someone the benefits of the doubt unless she has established her values in your eyes. And some of you may ask am I good enough to demand such things. Well, that’s her call, not mine. I always believe that I am good enough for anyone, anyone who knows how to appreciate good things *sorry, but I can’t help laughing at myself now. Background sound: laughing*

Someone suggested that I just forget about relationship. Just go out and have fun. Sure, I could do that. No strings attached and everything. But truth it, not all casual relationship is really “casual” especially for women. Some women have no problem with one night of raw uninhibited passion. But most of them tend to regret it after the deed is done. For women, sex is hardly just sex except for some.

So after thinking about it, maybe my friend was right. Perhaps I am indeed gay *laugh*. When I was in form 5, one of my teachers asked me at what age do I want to get married. I said 25. Finish SPM at 17, finish college at 21, work for 2 years (23) and then “pak tor” for 2 years (25) then kahwin. *I am seriously laughing while typing this*. So according to plan, I have 2 years left to find a girl to get married with. Or perhaps, I may not be getting married anytime soon *frown* (no, I am not thinking of marriage, just incase anyone of you didn’t get my bad sense of humor)

In the end, I think I’ve dug a hole so deep that I myself can’t climb up now, not alone at least. Having a good heart and conscience may not be a good thing after all.

Song listening to while typing the last paragraph: Sinead O’Connor – Nothing Compares To You. For some strange reasons, songs like this are growing on me lately. Especially this particular song, it gives out a warm calm soothing sensation.

I added links on the left hand side showing those recently posted comments. It’s for easier browsing in hope that you all can have a more pleasurable experience reading thru my “masterpiece” (for a moment, I thought it was actually quite funny *grin*).

Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the woods one day, when she spies the wolf crouched down behind a bush. Thinking that it would be a laugh and make a bit of change to sneak up on him for once, she creeps over and taps the wolf on his shoulder.

“My, Mister Wolf,” she says with a big smirk on her face, “what big eyes you have. Don’t you want to play?”
“Leave me alone!” the wolf cries, and runs off. Riding Hood trails him for a way, and finds him behind and old oak tree.
“My, Mister Wolf,” she says, “what big ears you have. Don’t you want to play?”
“For God’s sake, please leave me alone!” the beast howls, and runs off into the woods. Riding hood strikes out after him, and discovers him in a patch of stinging nettles.
“My, Mister Wolf,” she says, “what big teeth you have. Don’t you want to play?”
“For Christ’s sake, leave me alone!” the wolf barks in fury. “I’m trying to have a shit!”

Yesterday, a friend gave me a link to an article titled “When Women Cheat”. I read it and then I gave her my opinion on it. And she asked me to write back to the author of the article. And me being someone who got something to say about anything, I wrote back a response and mailed it to the author.

The response is just my personal opinion. I do not write the response because I think the author was wrong or trying to prove something. No. I wrote it because I believe in sharing opinions (and my friend suggested me to). Different people see things in different perspectives. What I perceive as a white may be black to you. So there’s no right or wrong.

So if anyone who does not agree with my writings, feel free to let me know why. Just don’t call me names like chauvinistic bugger, anti-woman-jackass, or things like that without giving me a reason why I deserve to be called such. I am seriously a very nice person actually. Really.

Here’s the link to the article.
And this is my response mail to the article.

The reason why I am not putting this directly on my blog is because it’s kind of long and I don’t want it to mess up me blog’s lovely appearance. *laugh*

Got this from The Star. Last week's paper, not sure which day. Seriously, I laughed when I read this.

I am a 24 years old guy. I work as a clerk and I am also doing a degree at a local university. My problem is that I am too tall, dark, not handsome and shy. These are traits girls don’t normally want in a boyfriend/husband. I sometimes feel really jealous of handsome guys and their girlfriends. People much younger than me already have a partner while I don’t.

I plan to go for a beauty course to improve my looks but will it really work? Can you suggest what I should do?

I also plan to go to a gym to build my muscle but I don’t have the time and more over, it’s quite hard for me to build my muscle because I’m a vegetarian.

Please help me, as I really want to change my looks.

-------------------------------------------

And I thought I was vain, but his guy really tops it. Beauty course?!?!? Come on. I can accept spa and stuffs but beauty course is way over. As for gym and building muscles, yeah, that I can understand since I do that myself. But I don’t really do gym; I just get a couple of dumbbells and play with it. And for the record, I am not that vain. It’s just that I am the kind of guys that can’t get fat no matter how much I eat. I’m just a little too thin for my own good. High metabolisms they say.

This guy was raised by the mentality that good looks count. A handsome guy means nothing. It’s the attitude that counts. People around you see you as how you see yourself. If you think you suck, you suck. If you think you rock, you rock. It shows. For women, yes, good looks count. But for men, good looks mean nothing (ok, a little but not much). It’s the attitude that counts. How often do you see a horse face, a borderline junkie, or a typical Petaling Street “leng chai” with a babe? Very often.

Change your attitude, change the way you look at yourself. Do not ever change your looks. I mean, make yourself presentable, neat, tidy and most importantly, you are comfortable with it. Every morning when you wake up, look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am the man”. Ok, that sounds cheesy but you get the deal. Make yourself believe that you are good enough for anyone. And no, I don’t do that. I don’t have the need to do so.

Physical appearance is only important if you are a woman, but not that important if you are a man. Confidence and self-belief are charming. Really charming. Btw, I am not saying this because I am ugly. On the contrary, I am actually quite tasteful and that’s a reality ;)

It is very important that you look at the world as "your reality", and behave as if this is the case. One way to "build" that reality is to imagine it vividly.

Einstein said that "Imagination is more important than knowledge". And a great marketing genius named Roy Williams once said that our minds are far better suited to imagination than reality.

So ask yourself, “If you could have your life be any way you want, how would that be?” What would happen in your reality? As humans living in modern times, we can live almost any life we want. If only we decide what that life is going to be, and put our full attention on making that our reality.

Here’s a hypothetical story just for the sake of it.

The night before last, I went out with three friends. All guys. We went to a bar, then went to another bar and then another. At the third place, one of my friends saw a girl that he wanted to meet.

She was what you might call a "Hottie". And she had that look on her face that says "I'm pissed, but I know I'm sexy when I'm pissed, so I'm going to stay that way". I looked at my friend, and said, "Let’s go". As my friend and I were walking toward her, he was asking me what he should say to her.

I realized something in that moment:

1. He was in a place mentally that was beyond anything that a cute "pick up line" would fix.
2. He was about to talk to a "professional" when it comes to being approached by men.
3. He needed to learn something, not get the girl.

In the end, he said something to her and she acted stuck up, and we walked away.

But here’s the important part.

It was obvious that he was feeling a little bit uncomfortable about the whole interaction. About approaching a hot, "unapproachable" girl, and then having her "shoot him down". So I said "Now, what's the big deal? Does it matter at all? NO!" Then I said "Let's go talk to someone else".

I think that it's important to realize that your reality is what you make of it.

I have done a lot of "inner work" on my own reality, and I've come to a deep understanding and realization that no woman (or man) can take away my joy and positive outlook on the world unless I give her the power to do so.

So guess what? Women do not upset me anymore.

Use your imagination to create a reality that you want to live in, and then start living there. No one is going to call you up one day and say "Hey, I am granting you permission to live the life you want. So go get it".

You're going to have to create the reality that you want to live in. And then start living it.

*modified from something i read

modified from a song

I never really feel quite right and I don't know why
All I know is there's something wrong
Every time I look at you, you seem so alive
Tell me how do you do it, walk me through it
I'm following every footstep

Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?
All I want is for you to shine,
Shine down on me,
Shine on this life that's burning out

I say a lot of things that sometimes don't come out right
And I act like I don't know why
I guess a reaction is all I was looking for
You looked through me, you really knew me like no one has ever know before

But all I want is for you to shine
Shine down on me, I wanna feel it
Shine on this life that's burning out

I know you got something
Just show me something, something that I never know
It's gonna kill me if you give it away
I just wanna know what's going on in your mind

*where the hell are "YOU"?

My mum told me a story the other day. And I thought it was very funny. Remember that not long ago where I mentioned that I would like to teach a girl how to use the mouse? She’s really pretty. Ok, that’s not that funny part but it’s the first part of the story.

Now is the second part. Few months ago, my mom’s friend’s son got married. He is only 19 I think. You guess it. It was an accident. From what I heard, the girl’s family did not want the girl to have an abortion, so the boy (he is 19, I can’t get myself to call him a guy) has got no choice but to marry her.

Ok, now’s the funny part. After getting married for a few months, the boy went to see Joey (the one whom I wanted to teach how to use the mouse, Joey is not her real name). He actually told Joey that it was her fault that he ended up getting married. Apparently, the boy was initially going after Joey but got rejected. So he went to look for a “pelampung” and ended up impregnating a girl (his wife).

The fact that teenagers nowadays are getting pregnant so easily really amaze me. Recently, the papers were publishing news about how young mothers shouldn’t be drafted into the National Service program. They just finished SPM and are only 18 but yet they already have a few months old kid! I mean, if you really want to have fun, at least use some protections. I can bet that the boy doesn’t love his wife and vice versa. It was a mistake. And it wouldn’t be fair for the child. The child would be born into a loveless family. They are just too young to become parents.

I agree that both of them have to take responsible for their actions but on a different perspective, parents and government are to be held responsible too. Parents in Asia are too conservative to discuss sex with their children. In our culture, sex is taboo. Our government reserved a 20 million budget for the anti-smoking campaign but for sexual protection and prevention programs they hardly did anything. They say sex education will be introduced into the school syllabus but after so many years, there’s still nothing.

People these days are really naïve. They believe that if they can pull out in time, they’ll be fine. Come on. If it really works, Durex would be bankrupt by now.

At the end of the day, young mothers would eventually be single mothers (not all, but the possibility is high). We can’t keep treating sex as taboo; it will just do more harm than good. If you can’t stop them from having sex, at least educate them.

*btw, Joey knows how to operate a mouse. Just incase if any of you didn’t get my bad sense of humor.

I just finished watching the repeat of Malaysian Idol on TV. I missed the live show on Friday on an unavoidable circumstance.

I’m just going to make it ‘short’ and ‘sweet’. I think it’s safe for me to say that the judges are prejudice. I’ll say why. There were 4 non-malays this time. 3 Chinese and 1 Indian. I’ll start with the first Chinese, Keith.

Personally, I think he is good. Roslan said he sucks. And that he is AFRAID that Keith is going to get thru. The implied message is that we Malaysians do not know how to vote. That we vote for the person who does not deserve to go thru (according to Roslan). He is making this statement based on the fact that all Chinese in the previous shows got thru. It actually amazes me that it didn’t dawn on him that perhaps they got thru because they can sing and we Malaysians love them. And Paul said that Keith would be eaten alive if he were to compete in World Idol with Ruben Studdard or Fantasia. And Paul also said that Keith is too happy for his own good (or something like tat). Well, you know what Paul, that’s the pleasant personality that everyone should have. Look at Clay Aiken. Look at George Huff. The Americans adore them because of their happy and pleasant personality.

The second Chinese, Yin. I don’t think she sang badly. She just needs a little coaching. And Roslan said that it would actually be SCARY to see her competing in World Idol. How could someone actually use the word “scary” to describe a person? That is an insult. As a professional (Roslan), he should have at least have a little respect for the contestant (or other human beings for that matter). I wouldn’t mind if he had said that she sung horribly/badly but to say a person is scary is actually a direct assault on her physically. I can understand if he (Roslan) has got no respect for others, but still, have some respect for yourself as a professional and as a human.

This is the interesting part. Up till contestant 10, they were the only 2 contestants that the judges compared them to the World Idol (and shoot them down). Why don’t they take a Malay girl or a Malay guy and judge them what if they were to compete in World Idol? The prejudice is absurd. All the other contestants, even when they sing badly, the judges will still “cushion” it with some good words. But the 2 Chinese? They didn’t get any slack at all. Nothing. I would have actually love to see Keith or Yin refute back and say “at least you see me competing in the World Idol as the Malaysian Idol, and I should say thank you” when the judges compared them with the World Idol.

And Karen Watts. A stand by that got in when another contestant withdrew. She did sing badly but definitely not the worst. But somehow she manage to get the worst title from all the judges. Out of the 4 worst criticized contestants today, 3 of them are Chinese (not sure if Karen is Chinese, but still non-malay). And they say that 8TV did everything they can to bring the best production team to produce Malaysian Idol. Just look at the judges, the best? Just look at the set. Dull and bland.

And Jac, the only Indian girl in the contest. She’s a singer. Had an album. A self-financed album. To me personally, it’s a little unfair to the others. She had more singing experience than the others. She even appeared on Latte @ 8 before. A show directed/produced (whatever, I dunno) by Paul. All the judges love her. And prejudice strikes again. Roslan said that he is afraid that Jac is not going to get thru even thou she is a good singer. What makes him think that Jac is not going to get thru? Because she’s an Indian? Because of her skin color? Roslan, you are opening a can of worms here. You could be starting a racist issue on national TV. We are not America. Malaysia isn’t ready for this kinda “stuff”.

And honestly, Jac might or might not go thru. She has got a good voice. I don’t deny that. But if you actually listen to her sing, u couldn’t comprehend a word out of her mouth. Her singing “Super Woman” on today’s (Friday) show is the equivalent of a doctor’s handwriting. Incomprehensible. The judges knew that. That is why all of them said that they hope she could get thru so she could show Malaysia her true ability because she obviously did not do well on this particular song. Just look at the bias here. Ridiculous. You only get one chance. You snooze, you lose.

The last contestant, Saiful. He too got compared to the World Idol but on a more positive note. And seriously, I really like his voice (except when he sings really LOUD). But can he sing in English? Can you compete in World Idol singing in Malay with an Arabic accent? He pronounces Idol as I-dul. No offence but look at what happen to the Arabic Idol during the last World Idol. She gets nowhere even thou she has a really great voice.

My votes go to Keith, Yin, Saiful and Fahmy.

I know I’ve said before in my previous post where I accuse the show of favoring Malays. And I was wrong. I apologized. But now, I am actually quite pleased with the results for it is fair and just. I don’t think there’s any favoring in term of the voting. I strongly believe that all the contestants that got thru really do deserve it. Chinese is one of the minorities in this country. That shows that all the Chinese and all the other contestants that previously got thru actually deserve it.