a funny story
My mum told me a story the other day. And I thought it was very funny. Remember that not long ago where I mentioned that I would like to teach a girl how to use the mouse? She’s really pretty. Ok, that’s not that funny part but it’s the first part of the story.
Now is the second part. Few months ago, my mom’s friend’s son got married. He is only 19 I think. You guess it. It was an accident. From what I heard, the girl’s family did not want the girl to have an abortion, so the boy (he is 19, I can’t get myself to call him a guy) has got no choice but to marry her.
Ok, now’s the funny part. After getting married for a few months, the boy went to see Joey (the one whom I wanted to teach how to use the mouse, Joey is not her real name). He actually told Joey that it was her fault that he ended up getting married. Apparently, the boy was initially going after Joey but got rejected. So he went to look for a “pelampung” and ended up impregnating a girl (his wife).
The fact that teenagers nowadays are getting pregnant so easily really amaze me. Recently, the papers were publishing news about how young mothers shouldn’t be drafted into the National Service program. They just finished SPM and are only 18 but yet they already have a few months old kid! I mean, if you really want to have fun, at least use some protections. I can bet that the boy doesn’t love his wife and vice versa. It was a mistake. And it wouldn’t be fair for the child. The child would be born into a loveless family. They are just too young to become parents.
I agree that both of them have to take responsible for their actions but on a different perspective, parents and government are to be held responsible too. Parents in Asia are too conservative to discuss sex with their children. In our culture, sex is taboo. Our government reserved a 20 million budget for the anti-smoking campaign but for sexual protection and prevention programs they hardly did anything. They say sex education will be introduced into the school syllabus but after so many years, there’s still nothing.
People these days are really naïve. They believe that if they can pull out in time, they’ll be fine. Come on. If it really works, Durex would be bankrupt by now.
At the end of the day, young mothers would eventually be single mothers (not all, but the possibility is high). We can’t keep treating sex as taboo; it will just do more harm than good. If you can’t stop them from having sex, at least educate them.
*btw, Joey knows how to operate a mouse. Just incase if any of you didn’t get my bad sense of humor.
posted by [ noodlez ] | [ 1:19 PM
] 
4 Comments:
Indeed you are right on some point. Sex education is needed badly in our country. But then again, I strongly do not agree the boy and the girl to get married just because the girl is pregnant. No way...this would not help at all, a family without love would not last, soon or later they will separate. Divorced % is getting higher everyday and all is because people getting married just for the sake of getting married. I bet they do not understand what marriage is all about. Sometime I just don't understand what parents think? There should be some other way to solve the "pregnant" problem beside getting married. The underlying beliefs, which is the traditional culture is definately unchangeable in a day or two by you and me.
By
Anonymous, at August 2, 2004 at 4:51 PM
I believe the solution to the “pregnant” problem that you were referring to is abortion. Correct me if I’m wrong for I couldn’t think of anything else. The only reason why I didn’t mention it is because it might create some controversy. Don’t get me wrong, I do not endorse abortion but if I were to choose between abortions and bringing a child into a loveless family, I would take the former.
As for why the parents would push their kids into shotgun marriages, I believe it’s because of the culture. If you break it, you buy it. To them, if their pregnant daughter had an abortion, she would have become damaged goods. And society plays a part in this too. In the eyes of society, damaged goods will always be damaged goods no matter how good a person she is. They would hardly give her a chance, if at all.
And when they got divorced and become single mothers, society again shut them off and shuns them. The likelihood for them to get married again is low for one, society will not give them the chance and two, they would have lost faith in men by then. And even if they do get married again, I don’t think it would be of love. It would just probably be of financial reasons and convenience. And again, they would hold out in a loveless marriage, but at least this time around the kids have already grown up.
By
noodlez, at August 2, 2004 at 7:08 PM
Yes, indeed you got the right answer to my solution. Abortion is not a bad thing to do if after you analyse the future of yourself and the child. When marriage failed, subsequently it will lead to a lot of problem not only to the couple, the child, their family but it will affect the community. An unhealthy community would greatly affect the people. When we see all those crimes on the newspaper, what can we tell? Most criminal came from a broken family or single parenthood whereby they are not taken good care, love is important to a child for without love a child would not learn to love when he/she grown up. But then again, I'm not saying all those kids who try out sex and got pregnant should go for abortion, their parents should counsel them before they make any decision. I believe when the girl got pregnant, both the boy and the girl are panic, not sure what to do. At this point of time, I believe it would be a lot more better if their parents can think about their child future rather than trying to figure out a solution to cover up the case. If I were the girl's father/mother, I would have ask my girl that whether she wants to get married or not, whether she is ready to be a mother or not, whether she think the boy would be a good husband or not, whether she think her future would be bright if she would to marry the boy. I would want her to think about all this, rather than pushing them to get married.
By
Anonymous, at August 3, 2004 at 5:41 PM
if it's my daughter, i'll ask her if she wants to marri the guy and then i'll ask the guy if he wants to marry my daughter. if either one says no, then there's nothing else to do. but if both of them say yes, and agree to get married, i'll ask them to sign a prenup in favor of my daughter. no prenup, no marriage.
if it's my son, i'll do the same, ask both of them if they want to get married and then sign a prenup in favor of the girl if they do decide to get married. at least the child's future is secure.
By
noodlez, at August 4, 2004 at 11:04 AM
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