[Got this from a site that I go to everyday. The original source of this article was actually on some newspaper, I think it’s the Daily Telegraph in UK, not really sure about it but that’s not important. When I finish reading this, there was a surge of emotions going thru my body. I can’t describe it by words but it made me felt so proud and happy for the guy in the article. It’s like reading an inspirational story and this is truly one heck of an inspirational story. May be a bit weird but it’s good. Almost as inspirational as Shawshank Redemption but in a totally different way]

A Slovak man trapped in his car under an avalanche freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.

Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains.

He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out.

But as he dug with his hands, he realised the snow would fill his car before he managed to break through.

He had 60 half-litre bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realised he could urinate on the snow to melt it, local media reported.

He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. It was hard and now my kidneys and liver hurt. But I’m glad the beer I took on holiday turned out to be useful and I managed to get out of there."

Parts of Europe have this week been hit by the heaviest snowfalls since 1941, with some places registering more than ten feet of snow in 24 hours.

[This is a comment by some guy and it was nicely put]
Only a male would think of this to save himself.

[This article just came in a few days after I finished my previous post. It’s written by the same guy who wrote the book Sex-Ploytation. Most of his stuffs emphasize more on women. He doesn’t really "attack" much on men for being suckers but more on women for lacking in integrity. Read the book Sex-Ploytation and you’ll see why] [There’s basically 3 teachings out there. First one is all about changing the men’s view point on the whole dating thing and teaching them how to avoid/spot self-serving bitches and know how to look for the good one. The second one is about pointing out how women are actually manipulating men to get what they want. The truth is, most women are manipulative by nature, and they just don’t realize it. The third one is about knowing how women work and exploiting it. It’s not unethical; it’s just a matter of how one uses such information]

[In bracket and bold = me, everything else = not me]

[P/S: melle, don’t bother reading. This is even longer than my previous one]

There's an old joke that goes: Good girls say, "No;" bad girls ask, "When?"
It's the classic dichotomy for the male psyche -- madonna vs. whore, Mary Ann vs. Ginger, housewife vs. ho, homebody vs. party girl. Which of the two is better?

As men, we're instantly aroused by the Pamela Andersons of the world, but inside we know we could never tame -- much less trust -- a female like this. Instinctively we seek out more normal, down-to-earth women when we're thinking of marriage and children.

Still, it's a problem that never goes away. We want the best of both worlds: a princess on the street and a whore in the bedroom [Crispy on the outside, crunchy on the inside, Ferrero Rocher] Someone who is nice and treats us with respect, yet who acts like a wildcat in heat between the sheets. So just what are the advantages and disadvantages of dating bad girls and good girls? And is it possible to somehow combine the two types into one perfect woman? [Combine, no. Make one yourself, yes]

First, let's look at some of the qualities embodied by the Bad Girl:

The goods on the bad girl

She's fun
She can party all night, drink herself into a stupor and still get up the next day and be ready for more. She'll laugh and flirt, and make you feel like a man. [Well, there’s actually many more ways to make a man feel like a man and I don’t mean anything sexual]

She's exciting
Bad girls are walking adrenaline rushes. For her, life is a roller coaster ride, and it'll get your blood singing just to be along for the trip. Bad girls never have time for introspection or depression -- they're too busy grabbing the world by the horns. [I wouldn’t say this is a bad thing nor would I say it’s a good thing. For the short term of course it’s a good thing cause they just don’t worry that much about anything but the bad thing is, girls like these often distant themselves from reality and when reality finally hits them, they’d be like 41 and living with 20 cats]

She craves sex
The bad girl loves men and makes no bones about it. She's more than happy to fulfill any fantasy you can dream up. She's the kind who will tear up the sheets while she's screaming out her seventh orgasm in a row (you'll feel like you're the king of the sexual world). And you won't have to deal with any head games -- she's more than happy to seduce you 24/7. [Joey would say "ohhh… you are perfect"]

She's eye candy
Bad girls are usually very attractive with jaw-dropping figures -- the ultimate "hot babes." They know how to walk the walk and strut their stuff. They get off on being the center of male attention. A bad girl loves plunging necklines, bare midriffs, high heels, skirts hemmed at mid-thigh, strapless anything, and sexy lingerie (if she wears any underwear at all). [I think this is just me, but girls in sexy clothes isn’t really that much attractive. If her face doesn’t go with the whole package it just doesn’t matter. Take Shu Qi for instant, she got nice body but her face just doesn’t measure up]

[I just got this from the pilot episode of Sex and the City. If a girl is interesting, she’s not beautiful. If a girl is beautiful, she’s not interesting. This actually makes sense in a way. If a girl is pretty, she doesn’t have to be interesting because she can just get by with her prettiness. And apparently, to most women, being interesting is too much work and much harder than making up their face for 5 hours. And for those lacking in the look department, they have to make it up with good personality or in other word, be interesting. If only women would put in more effort in being more interesting]

[Pretty face is common. So in order to set yourself apart from the rest of the pretty faces, you should be an interesting pretty face and not just another pretty face. Normal guys settle for pretty face, Mr. Big settle for interesting pretty face, I settle for interesting pretty face]

She ups your status
When you have a stunner like this on your arm, all other men are jealous and women are intrigued, and immediately your stud rating soars into the stratosphere. You'll be the stuff of legends when you regale your buddies with tales from your bedroom. [Trophy girlfriend/wife/whatever. When a guy is young, he wants this but when he wants have a wife and settle down, this would go down on the priority list. Unless he just wants to parade his wife around, and amazingly, there are women who are willing to do just that, be paraded]

The bads on the bad girl

She's untrustworthy
All men want her and she knows it, and she's definitely a serial flirter. Because she's such a sexual animal, she's apt to seduce anyone who strikes her fancy, so you shouldn't expect a bad girl to be loyal. [If she can flirt with you, what makes you think she won’t to the same to other guys behind your back? What comes around goes around. If you think that she’ll change because she’s with you and that you could be the one she wants, well that’s very sweet but that’s wishful thinking. Serial flirter seeks attention as a form of validation and the attention from you alone will never be enough]

She's dangerous
She's the type who will go 100 in a 30 mph zone just because she likes the rush. She may be into drugs or excessive alcohol consumption. She's spontaneous, unpredictable and wild. [Spontaneous, unpredictable and wild are actually good, only if she does it 30 in a 30 mph zone]

She makes a bad partner
Bad girls are extremely self-obsessed and selfish. They think about one person: themselves. They're extravagant and will spend their last dime on themselves. They don't settle down comfortably. For these reasons, they usually make lousy wives and mothers, and rarely survive lifelong relationships. [Pretty much the same with the descriptions of the bad boys that I mentioned in my previous post. If you want a meaningful lasting relationship, go for the homebodies or girls over 28. Men have reflect on their life at the age of 40 but for women, it happens sooner because as we all know, men’s value tend to appreciate over time but women, it works the other way round. Girls tend to be more stable and "reasonable" around the age of 28, they calm down a bit at this age. Although there are girls who give up on love all together after they hit 30, mostly they are the kinda girls who never learn. They just kept falling for the wrong guy (bad boys, jerk, assholes) and just give up on love all together at one point, and just settle with toy boys]

She is expensive
No low-maintenance here -- from day one she'll be looting your wallet for expensive meals, trips and jewelry. The typical bad girl sets a very high price on the use of her vagina, and if you don't want to cough up the cash, there'll be plenty of guys panting in the wings to pay her price. [Yeah, the way he put it may be rude but then again, if it’s all polite and politically correct, no one would give a shit, would they?]

The goods on the good girl

She's wholesome and nice
A good girl is rarely bitchy or "empowered." She's pleasant to be around and has a positive attitude toward life. She'll go out of her way to help you or take care of you when you're sick, and when problems arise, she'll discuss them calmly, instead of flying into a rage or screaming at you just because you're a "man." [They (women) say men are from Mars and women are from Venus. If that’s the case, then give me a girl from Mars (and cue the song from Ash)]

She's a clean slate
With her limited sexual experience, a good girl doesn't have a lot of men to compare you to and won't expect you to be a world-class lover. [But that doesn’t mean a guy should not try to be the lover of her life]

She's unlikely to cheat on you
Good girls tend to be homebodies, not party girls. Because she doesn't present herself in the same sexually-alluring manner that a bad girl does, you won't have to worry about a lot of other guys coming on to her. A good girl wants to find the one true love of her life and stay with him until death do them part, instead of seducing half the male population before she gets too old. [I like the last sentence. This is actually what you get to see with the girls in Sex and the City, seducing half of the male population before they get old. The truth is, a man loves to be seduced by girls but if the guy wants a good one to keep, he would prefer it that the girl is the one whom he seduced on his own, not a girl who seduced him. In short, for short term, a guy loves girls coming to him, but for the long term, a guy would prefer to go on the hunt. Most of the time, a guy would not stay long with a girl who come on to him first. I got a long theory on this but since I’m not gonna win any prize for my theories other than a box of chocolate ice-cream (which I got to buy myself), I might as well save my energy on this]

She's often your best friend
She genuinely enjoys your company and gives back to you as much as she takes. When you're gone, she misses you; when you're at home, she showers you with attention. [A flexible giver. Anita Yuen is a good example. I saw a talk show with Anita and her bf, Chi Lam. Both of them are really like friends, really good friends. Anita is "strong" on the outside (or at least she seems that way to me) but at the same time, she’s this little cute puppy when she’s with Chi Lam]

She's easier on finances
Good girls can rate low on the maintenance scale -- they're much more likely to share dating expenses (just because it's the right thing to do), and if you get married, she'll happily throw her paycheck in with yours to pay the mortgage and bills. [A friend asked me out for a drink the other day so, being the typical me who likes to push every button, I asked "you belanja izzit? later dinner you also belanja rite?" Those who really know me will know that I was just joking, I was just seeing how far I can push it. So, my friend later replied and said I "sek yuen fan". I’m not sure how to translate this but it roughly means "living off a woman or something like that". She could actually be joking too, I don’t know but what I’m sure is that, a lot of girls will give you the face (or the finger) if you ask them to buy you lunch/dinner/whatever even when they were the one who initiated the date. But only an ass will ask for a date and then ask the girl to buy (this actually happens and interestingly, some girls actually comply with it). If the girl asked for the date, you could ask for her to buy, but not that you should, just ask for fun and see how she reacts to it (a good indicator of what kinda person she is) and then split the bill. That’s the better choice, go Dutch]

She makes a good wife & mother
The typical good girl is practical, down-to-earth and nurturing. She loves children. She usually comes from a good family and wants to carry on those family values in her own life. [Nothing much I can say. If you get a good one, chances are, you’ve got a good wife/mother too]

The bads on the good girl

She's about as exciting as vanilla
Since she'd rather stay at home reading a book than go out partying, life with a good girl can be a bit uneventful. [And it’s up to you to put the chocolate into the vanilla and walla, vanilla-chocolate milkshake. Not too much on the chocolate and not too much on the vanilla. Just nice *wink*. The smooth tasting white vanilla with the aphrodisiac chocolate that will just melt the heart and turn it into liquid fire of lust and desire. And I got no idea what the heck I’m talking about but it sounds rather nice thou]

She can be a sexual dud
Good girls are often boring in bed, either from lack of experience or lack of desire. Sex with her is predictable. She rarely inspires lust and will probably wait for her man to initiate lovemaking. This can leave the typical guy very unfulfilled, his gaze straying toward that bad girl over there with the unfettered nipples and the long wraparound legs. [I kinda believe that a girl’s lack of sexual desire/drive is partly related to the performance of the guy. Ask yourself, if you are having fun and enjoy doing something, wouldn’t you be looking forward to it with enthusiasm and raring to go?]

She's fashionably comfortable
She wears her hair pulled back and little make-up. She prefers sweats and tennis shoes to mini skirts and pumps. Oftentimes, you can forget about thong underwear. [Truth is, I kinda prefer pulled back hair with little make-up instead of those who goes the nine mile in make up. But then again, not many girls can pull off the "simple yet elegant" look. So to be safe, just go all out. You don’t want to scare the kids without your make-up. One reason why I don’t fancy make-up is because; almost any girl can look "presentable" after make-up but not every girl can pull the elegant-eye-candy simple look. And again, pretty face is common]

The good to bad…

So the question remains: Which one should you choose? The obvious answer is that the perfect woman would embody the best of both of these types -- the niceness and loyalty of the good girl and the sexual abandon of the bad girl. [The "balanced" girl perhaps?]

While such women may exist naturally out there, it's more likely that, to achieve this ideal, you'll have to train a good girl to be bad (because there's no way a bad girl is going to be good). [Like I said, crooked arrows can’t be straighten but a straight arrow can be "crooked" just the way you want it. And if I may add, there’s no way a bad boy is going to be good too]

How?

Well, this may not be an easy task, because many good girls have been brainwashed by mom, church or school into thinking that "bad" is inherently wrong [Social conditioning] So the trick is to encourage her natural sexuality. Make her comfortable with sex. Romance her. Tell her how sexy she is when she seduces you or fulfills your fantasies -- or how satisfying it is to fulfill hers. Let her understand that great sex between the two of you can create an awesome bond, and that it is -- ultimately -- "good." [All this while, I’ve been emphasizing too much on the man side. Guess now I should start changing women instead of trying to change men. Now, the problem is finding a good one to change. Sigh]

[Oh Lord, give me a girl with a good heart, good brains, and a good face and I’ll take care of the rest. I don’t care if she has got low self-esteem or lack in confidence or whatever (I’m pretty sure I can fix that) cause I know it’s almost impossible to find the perfect one (and this did took me a while to realize). Anything can be fixed except for the heart and the brains and the face (plastic surgery tak kira). Like what Zack Siler said in the movie She’s All That, "I can turn any girl into a prom queen". And now I want my Laney Boggs. I didn’t get my Santarina for Christmas, so now I want my Laney Boggs for CNY. Do you think she’ll fit in an Ang Pow envelope?]

So while bad girls can be exciting, they're usually only worth it in the short term. If you can find a good girl and turn her into a sexual animal, you may just have found the perfect woman. And pretty soon, your good girl may be asking, "When?" [True, bad girls, just like bad boys are only worth it in the short term. But the difference here is that, most guys who go into a relationship with a bad girl knows that it’s not going to last but girls who go into a relationship with a bad boy DO NOT know what she’s getting herself into. Women are illogical. How often you hear a girl saying she wants a good guy but always end up with a jerk/bad boy? Very often. Most women do not know what they want and a nice guy can’t leave it all up to the women to choose who is best for her because she won’t be able to choose what’s best for her. Women think with their heart and the heart isn’t known for making logical or the best decision. It’s up to the nice guy to act up and beat the bad boys at their own game] [It’s proven that a nice guy can be changed, so the next question is, can a good girl be "trained"? We’ll see ;)]

[You don’t always have to go for the knockout stunning girl. A girl with brains and character is all you need, and in my case, a good face too. I’m just a sucker for this, can’t help it, call me shallow but I really can’t help it. I’m ugly but I still want a good face. "lai ha mou siong sek tin ngo yuk" Haha. It’s in canto by the way] [Get a girl with a good core and everything else is just a matter of time. Most guys want a girl that makes him want to be better. Not the girl changing the guy but the guy wants to change FOR the girl. Like a motivation for the guy to be a better man. Same goes the other way round. Get a girl with good values, good brains, good face, and a good heart and make her want to be better for you]

[This article is written by a female writer, Heidi. It talks about nice guys, bad boys, women and self-esteem. And then, as usual, I got my 2 cents to give] [Bold and in bracket = me, not bold and no bracket = not me, meaning it’s the article] [It has been a long time since I last done this; so, anyone who are offended by anything I wrote, I apologize, it’s not my intention to offend anyone in any way. Me still learning how to be tactful, and I’m a slow learner]

There seems to be a mystery among the male species, besides their unending quest of trying to figure women out. Why is it that the nice guys always seem to be single while jerks are the ones whose little black books get filled with magical numbers? It seems to go backwards, doesn't it?
I think it’s safe to say that women like the excitement of the bad boy, but why? [There is no one answer why, they just do. Bad boys create emotions, mostly bad ones. Bad boys are insensitive, emotions. Bad boys are abusive, emotions. Bad boys just go in for the kill, excitement. It doesn’t matter if the emotions are bad, as long as it can trigger any kind of emotions, women are fine with it and they never seem to get enough of it. And I remember reading an article that says; some women need to cry once in a while in order to feel human/alive. Go figure]

There must be more out there to justify why women are left crying their eyes out because their boyfriends hurt them once again. And of course, the girl goes back to the bad boy, while the sweet boy is left in the corner of the bar dipping his olives in and out of his martini. And one thing for sure, in order for a man to develop a backbone and become more of a bad boy, in the hopes of attracting more women, he does have to be badly hurt once. However, there is a lot more to it than that. Observe. [I don’t think getting burn and become more of a bad boy is a bad thing. If done without the bitterness, it could actually be a good thing. Nice guys really need to learn and the best way to start is by getting burned. In order for a man to truly live, he has to die once. So girls, next time when a nice guy is into you and you’re not interested, do him a favor and burn the crap out of him]

Self Esteem Goes A Long Way
It doesn't take a dozen self-help books and men's magazines to tell you how important self-esteem is when it comes to relationships and behavior [Yeah rite!] When it comes down to the enigma of the sweet girl and the bad boy, the man isn't the only one plagued by low self-esteem. The union of this couple can be blamed on lack of self-confidence where both parties are concerned [True]

There are many reasons why men are jerks to begin with. First, they can simply be born to fit the character and their loser behavior can be blamed purely on a genetic disaster and negative social environment. If we have a problem, we'll just have to take it up with his DNA [I do believe genetic plays a role in how a kid would turn up to be. And the social conditioning too] The second reason; the nice guy turns bad boy because of heartache. In this case, the guy becomes a jerk because he's been burned in the past and doesn't want this to happen again. [This is what I would call, inborn self-defense mechanism. What that doesn’t kill you only make you stronger. But I do believe that all nice guys should be burn at least once. It puts things into perspective. But to those that will just never learn, shame on you. And in some (a lot?) cases, the male ego prevents them from actually seeing what they are doing wrong. Ego, just like confidence, has to be in balance. Too much or too little and it’s not gonna be good]

The third reason is the major one, partly related to reason number two; he simply has no self-esteem. This poor man needs to act like a jerk to cover up his lack of confidence. It's a sad, sad case. Ironically, most people would think that he is a jerk because he has too much confidence (this could also be the case), but this is where we are fooled most of the time. We can't imagine that this jerk actually has a low self-esteem because he is so insensitive towards everyone around him. [The third reason actually covers up most of the jerk population with the second reason coming second. Although not everyone in the second reason turns out to be a jerk. Some just got smarter along the way and some, sadly, got to be a jerk. But I'd blame social conditioning for most the jerks stemming from the third reason. Most of us are not born with low self-esteem. It's how, where and by whom we're being brought up]

Not only is he a jerk, he is also a great actor. His bad boy demeanor is his shield; the weapon that gives the illusion of confidence. But most importantly, it ensures that he will never get hurt. His snide remarks are used as defense mechanisms, kind of how a skunk releases a stench to ward off those who may be a threat. [They believe that offensive is the best defense. Before you can hurt me (I'm paranoid), I’m gonna hurt you first. I never really thought of it that way thou. I don’t think jerks are actors. They don’t "act" consciously. My theory (yeah, me and my theories) is that, because of the low self-esteem, they don’t like who they really are so in turn, they "changed" to be someone else (something like a façade). This could actually be a good thing but sadly, because the foundation of such change is flawed from the beginning, it makes it a bad thing. If someone wants to change, it has to be for the right reason and change for the better. They should have changed their self-esteem (by building up on it) instead of ignoring their short-coming and change on something else. Self-esteem is the foundation, and if the foundation is weak, nothing you change will matter because your are building on a weak groundwork]

Don't worry; the woman doesn't get away from this one easily. The woman who falls for this poor excuse of a man suffers from the same lack of self-esteem. In essence, these two make a perfect match [But please don’t get married and have children. The kids will grow up with a significant lack of esteem and that is not good. You do not want to screw your own kid] This poor girl has no self-esteem of her own and probably doesn't believe she can do better than this man. He has literally become the cause for the loss of all her friends and those Ben & Jerry's binges when he stands her up once again on Saturday night to meet his boys instead. [I could actually write a whole story on this. A girl likes a boy and knows the boy is just cheating on her BUT she STILL likes him. The girl KNOWS she has got better choice but STILL she wants the jerk. The girl is crying her eyes out but STILL she loves the jerk. The girl is not happy in the relationship but STILL she stays in it and loves the jerk. The girl knows he’s a rotten jerk but STILL she likes/loves him. The girl knows he doesn’t like her but STILL she likes him (don’t tell me that’s love. That’s BS). I understand why she STILL loves the jerk but I just can’t seem to swallow the fact that some people could act to this extent. Now, I just tell myself, she deserves it, some women do deserve it because they ask for it themselves. End of story. And I’m happy because I’ve now realize that there’s nothing I could have done no matter how much I want to care. How long she’ll stay in that misery of her is directly proportional to how much self-esteem she has. The lesser the esteem, the longer she’ll endure the suffering. Some people just need to go thru fire before they’ll learn, so from now on, I’ll just shut my mouth and let them burn (I call this tough love :)]

[Recent edit: This whole piece was actually written a couple of days ago. And today, I saw the horoscope thingy about Sagittarius that says; "try to refrain from inflicting your well-meant advice on people who would prefer to do their own things in their very own way even if it involves their making the very mistakes you are so keen to protect them from", and from my understanding, it basically means, let them burn :) Most Sagis are nice people but often misunderstood... nobody thinks they are nice *grin*]

One Hundred Dollars per Hour
I still stand by the fact that the woman who falls for the jerk is most likely to suffer from low self-esteem, but there could be another very important reason. In case men haven't noticed, women love playing the role of the relationship therapist. That's right; some women would do anything just to have the chance to get others to pour out their troubles, while they attribute most problems to an oedipal pre-adolescent complex. Most women love to know that they're the ones who discovered the solution to their boyfriends' problems and, in turn, healed them (so to speak). ["There’s nothing a woman loves more than fixing a broken man", a direct quote from a very beautiful lady. And I totally agree with this. I can’t really figure out the reason why but I think it’s related to a woman’s inborn motherly instinct, her nurturing nature]

To do this, they need a troubled soul to lie down in that leather couch; the jerk boyfriend. Most girls love to know that they "fixed" their jerk boyfriend. He was once a bad boy, but now he is a sweetheart and he's a changed man, all thanks to her. Yes, this is the challenge most women enjoy seeking, an incredible feat where they claim to have turned a lost soul around. If a man was perfect to begin with, what would be so exciting in the relationship? Women would be bored and they would probably have to create non-existent problems in the relationship to spruce things up a little. [Most men do not realize one thing, women LOVE drama. They can never live without it. Drama creates emotions and emotions are what fuel a woman’s soul. They do not like it when a relationship is going smooth sailing, there HAS TO BE a little storm in order for them to feel loved. They’ll try to make you jealous so that you can re-assure them that you love her. They’ll create an argument out of nothing and then have make-up sex. Apparently, the normal way to having sex is "boring and meaningless". To women, everything is more meaningful when there’s drama and emotions in it. And sometimes, the only reason why a woman starts an argument is because she wants your attention, she wants to hear your voice. This makes no sense to me but who am I to figure out women?] [Sometimes, when a woman creates some non-existent problems in the relationship, they don’t really mean it but most guys do not understand this and chances are the non-existent problems will escalate into a full blown crisis. So the next time your woman starts arguing, just grabs her, spin her around and french the moonlight out of her and everything will be fine :)]

A Balance Act
Balance is the solution to this twisted phenomenon. A man should be able to act sweet and gentlemanly when dating a woman, all while maintaining some mystique. Simply find some sort of middle ground because no woman wants a pushover. [Bad boys are bad inside out. Nice guys are good inside out. The balance is to be bad on the outside but good on the inside thus the "balanced" (for the lack of better word) man. It’s actually more possible for a nice guy to be the "balanced" man than having a bad boy turning into a "balanced" man. For a nice guy to be the "balanced" man, he only needs to learn how to emulate the bad boy’s "good/usable" personalities which are mostly learnable. But for a bad boy to be good on the inside, now that’s a whole different story. I won’t say that it’s impossible, nothing is impossible, but I would say that the chances are equal to finding a needle in the Pacific Ocean. Even if you manage to fix a bad boy into a sweetheart, it’s just a matter of time before he gets back to the "real" him. A crooked arrow can never be straighten back, there’s always gonna be a dent but a straight arrow can be crooked just the way you want it to be crooked ;)] [There’s a saying in Cantonese that goes "pun sing nan koi" which roughly translates to "it’s hard to change a person’s nature". So next time if you girls want to find someone to fix, try giving it a shot in fixing up the nice guys instead. Fix him up into the "bad boy" you want. And the good news is, this time you don’t have an abusive rotten jerk to start with but the bad news is, nice guys tend to be stupid in this kinda stuff so it’s gonna be a little frustrating but we all love a challenge rite? ;)]

But here is the good news; a girl who constantly falls for jerks is probably not worth having in the first place [This is actually a good advice. Some guys do deserve better. Build up your self-confidence and tell yourself "I deserve better". Not to say you should get cocky or overly confident, but it’s just a matter of how much you value yourself and how much (or less) you’re willing to settle for. And this actually makes the screening process for guys a lot easier. If jerks are all that she’s been dating, then NEXT! - "If she can’t see how special you are, then it’s her lost", rephrased from a quote from a movie staring Kirsten Dunst] Just be yourself, because whoever said that nice guys finish last was never in a relationship with a great girl. In the long run, the jerks are left with little black books filled with phone numbers of insecure girls, while the sweethearts get the woman worth spending a lifetime with. [Nice guys will (mostly) get the great girl in the end; hence nice guys finish last. Nice guys will get the great girl when the girl realizes that she’s been with the wrong ones all this while (might take some time for some girls to realize that). Doesn’t mean this as an insult but the nice guys will only get the bad boys’ leftovers if they don’t start acting up. In general, girls still tend to fall for the bad boys because that’s just the way it is. To ask for a nice guy to stay the same and still hope to find a great girl is equivalent to asking him to stay as a frog and hope for a princess to come by and kiss him, which only happens in a fairy tale (or in my dreams :p) and not in the real world. Nice guys actually have an edge here because they have a good heart to start with. The only thing left to do is to know how to attract the girl and make her happy (with the occasional drama in it :) It takes time but it’s worth it. Like what the article says, a woman worth spending a lifetime with; a good one, is really worth it. But you want to get the girl first before the bad boy does]

[Below: my theory on 3 types of guys. Do you think I'll get a Nobel prize for this? Nah... I don't think so either. Maybe I'll just get myself a box of chocolate ice-cream as the award and recite my acceptance speech in front of the mirror. *background applause*terima kasih*terima kasih*taking bow kiri kanan*some girl in the crowd threw a bra up the stage*some girls flashing their chest*some girls yelling "show us your knob!"*man, this is turning out like a Robbie Williams concert* And I think I should cut down on my coffee]

[When a nice guy falls in love with a girl, in his eyes, the girl is the perfect one, the one and only that he wants to be with. And when he got rejected or the relationship doesn’t end well, his world collapsed and he crash and burn (cue the Savage Garden song). This is actually how a nice guy views the whole relationship/dating thing, a naïve point of view. And this, to a woman is pressuring because of the commitment from the nice guy. Nice guys show commitment in the early stage and this is a burden to the girl because women do not commit that fast. If a woman wants commitment from you, she’ll ask for it. She doesn’t want you to commit without prior notice. Women tend to evaluate their options (other guys) and their situation (age, physical appearance, "harga saham") first before they are sure if the nice guy is the one she wants to be with. To the girl, the nice guy is just another guy but to the nice guy, the girl is the one. Nice guys are the best option for marriage because of the obvious reason (nice) and also for the commitment on their side and that is why nice guys finish last]

[For a bad boy, a girl is just another conquest. Love could come in to play with a bad boy but most of the time; it’s just a ploy in giving the girl what she wants and in return, getting what he wants (a 3 letter word starting with s ending with x). A bad boy knows he can always get another girl so do you really think he’ll stick to just one when he can have many? If you think his love for you will prevent him from cheating on you, well, think again. Think hard. Really hard. Harder. I say harder! Haha, sorry. Got carried away. For a bad boy, he comes first before the girl, but for the nice guy, the girl comes first before anything else. And the women’s style is actually the same with the bad boys. A guy is just another guy. A woman knows that there’s always another guy waiting in the line for her. Bad boys know the meaning of the word "NEXT". Women know the meaning of the word "NEXT". A nice guy world scratch his head and ask "NEXT WHAT?"]

[The "balanced" man knows that he might have to go thru 9,839,878 failures and rejections before he finds "the one". So to him, in the beginning stage, a girl is by default one of the 9,839,878 until she can prove to be the one. The "balanced" guy go into the dating game with the same intention as the nice guys, which is to find a good one but using the bad boys and women style of "NEXT-ing". When a relationship ends with a bad boy, usually the friendship ends too (although the girl might go back to him for an occasional "no strings attached night of passion" if he’s a good lay. And I got nothing to say about this). When a relationship ends with a nice guy, chances are the friendship will end too because the nice guy would be too bitter and he’ll spent most of his time learning how to be a jerk. But when things end with the "balanced" guy, it ends mutually and the friendship remains. If you want to be a man, you got to take it like a man and move on. Sounds corny but that’s how it’s supposed to be. Although there are some exceptions if the girl is a psycho or a stalker or she just can’t handle it well. But the guy should know better than getting himself with a mental. In short, a "balanced" man is a gentleman who knows what he wants, knows how to get it, and most importantly, he knows how to treat a lady right]

I think I’ve established myself as someone who got something to say about everything. Well, not really everything in its literal sense but everything in the context of everything that’s opposite of what I believe. I say what I say and I write what I write because that’s what I believe in and I’m not conditioned to repress my thought just because it goes against the normal norm of what the general masses believe (we are all aliens actually, a hybrid of Martians with ancient human. Hehe)

Usually people will think of those people who go against the establishment as someone who got nothing better to do, for example like those "penunjuk perasaan", green peace, "parti pembangkang", etc. People like this are not bitter nor do they have any issues. They just think different and most important of all; they are just trying to raise a discussion.

Hardly anyone questioned our government why they spend RM20 Million on the stupid "Tak Nak" smoking campaign when they continuously ignore the more important need of sex education in schools as well as the lack of actions in curbing incest and rape and AIDS. Everyone just seem to be content with the way it is until when something happen to them and they’ll start yelling "injustice!!!" That’s just how we are, we’ll just sit there and look at someone’s misfortune and not do anything and when something happens to us, we’ll start bitching. But I do commend those who helped out in the tsunami relief work but to those who send in rubbish, empty tins, used up bra and panties to the relief center, may you get what you deserve.

I believe there’s something to be learn from everyone and I too believe there’s a thing or 2 that I can share. I think I’ve said this before, I’m no better than any of you, I’m just as good. I keep neither a closed nor a loose mind and I accept and acknowledge anybody's opinion. Whether I agree with the opinion or not, now that’s another thing. I do respect a good strong opinion even if it's completely opposed to my own. Some may not feel that way because I'm going to defend my own opinion quite emphatically but would you really want someone to have an opinion and not completely defend it?

I’ve never wrote anything out of bitterness. Frustration, yes, bitterness, no. Me blunt writer, and if I’m writing out of bitterness, it will show. I’m not making a statement, just merely trying to raise a discussion and awareness (by making statements actually, but that depends on how one sees it) And I don’t believe in being politically correct. I find that to be a little on the fake side. Double meaning statements and beating around the bush do not work because some ignorant people will just pretend and take the politically correct meaning of it. The truth is hard to take (believe me, it’s hard and sometimes, it hurts) but it’s better than living a lie.

Nothing limits people’s potential to express their true selves more than fear. And fear kills more people than anything else.

And yeah, another reason why I blabber so much is that I don’t fancy being misunderstood. I don’t mind if I’m being misunderstood as a genius or a jackass but being misunderstood for the reason why I do what I do, that’s a little hard to take. It hurts my feelings *sob*sob*. Everything I say and do come from the heart and it’s genuine. I’m not trying to prove anybody wrong; I have no right to do that. I just want there to be more awareness. We are bigger than we think we are and it’s sad that so many people are socialized to believe otherwise. The will be no war when soldiers refuse to lift a gun anymore.

And no, it’s nothing you said, me just running out of ideas on what to write so I took your opinion and make a "story" out of it ;) It doesn’t matter what others think of me, I don’t get bothered by that anymore but I’m still a little hurt by that comparison of yours. Don’t wanna friend you ledi. I go tell my mommy you hurt my feelings *uwaaaa*. Hehe, this is stupid.

As long as I can still write craps here, I’d be happy enough. But I’d be happier if I can find peace. I know world peace is too much to ask so I’d just settle for inner peace. Can I get that from yoga? Or do I need to go up a mountain top and meditate for 9 years? Or maybe I should stop whining so much? Yeah, maybe I whine too much. Well, who cares.

A good general knows how to win a battle, and he too knows when it’s impossible to win.

What you want in peace, you get it from war.

Ordo ab chao.

[Here are some excerpts from an interview between 3 girls and a player. All these 3 girls are actually the player’s exes and they are still friends even after the conquest has ended. The guy is a good role model. Really. A player with class] [Bold and bracket = me, the rest = not me]

I got three of them together recently to discuss where they draw their lines between players and jerks. After all, they're the ultimate judges.

Player: What's the first thing that attracts you to a man?

Helen: The guy's got to have some charm. I don't care if he's the most drop-dead gorgeous guy in the world, if he doesn't treat me like a lady, like I'm a little bit special, then it's "next."

Player: So what, to you, is an "effort"?

Chiara: I really like it if a guy opens doors for me, pulls out my chair, offers me his arm when we're walking, that kind of stuff. [Ok, if I ask a girl out and I offer my arm to her while we’re walking, wouldn’t that come off as a little weird? What would Malaysian girls think of such gesture? Under what circumstances can I actually pull such thing off? Or maybe I’m just too young to do that yet?]

Helen: But it's got to seem natural, like it's consistent with who he is, instead of just something he heard was a good thing to do. [Even if I can pull it off naturally (the arm thing), wouldn’t it still be weird? But I just got a feeling that most Malaysian girls will view such gesture as “coming on too strong” or the guy is just faking it. Or maybe Asian women just aren’t that used to western chivalry gestures]

Chiara: Yeah, that stuff, and you know, dropping physical hints along the way. If a guy kisses my hand while we're in a bar or whispers something in my ear with just the right amount of warm breath, that's worth tons of tender kisses later on because he's already set the tone, working me up earlier in the evening. [Nice one Chiara, nice one]

Amy: I like that stuff too, but don't you find that can come off as a boyfriend vibe? I mean, if the guy's being romantic like that, how are you supposed to know what his intentions are?

Helen: Yeah, I think I was a little confused at your age about that, too. I guess I'd say just because you're not marrying this guy doesn't mean you should settle for him being any less of a man. Probably the opposite, actually. But a smart player -- and I don't attach the negative meaning many women do to that title -- makes it clear to you that that's what he is. If he says something early on about "looking for fun," for example, well, that's a pretty clear sign. [Point well made. Very well made. “…just because you're not marrying this guy doesn't mean you should settle for him being any less of a man”. Now here’s a girl with high self-esteem]

Player: Probably. I generally do. I figure, if everyone's clear on what's going on and they're both on board, then you're that much freer to pursue good times without worrying about what this or that "means."

Amy: That's true. I remember thinking you had some... courage... telling me straight up like that what your intentions were, and even though I was looking for a boyfriend, I was intrigued enough and thought hey, I've got nothing to lose here, since at least I know where I stand. [Some may think that Amy is cheap or too easy but the truth is, there are actually guys who can pull this off. They tell you up front of their intentions and still get away with it. It’s just a matter of how they “proposed” it to the girl. If they felt that they are being treated like a sex object or “dirty” with the proposition then obviously it won’t work. But if you can make the proposition seem harmless, fun yet innocent (for the lack of better word, hehe), then it might just probably work. The difference is how you make them feel. And what kinda emotions you trigger]

Helen: Exactly. The last thing I want is to feel like I've been led on or like he's made a fool of me. I mean, I've got my pride, right? [If they feel they are being made a fool, it won't work. The key is how you make them feel. Certain things can invoke more than one feelings. The question is, which feeling do you want them to feel?]

Chiara: That's totally it.

Helen: I mean, if you just want something casual, better to get that out there than go on with some charade about how this is a romance that's going somewhere. [Well, the sad thing is most guys will do almost anything, even lying, just to get into some girls’ pants. And the saddest thing is that some girls just don’t see it. And the worst of all, some girls just DO NOT WANT TO SEE IT. They’ll just “neutralize” all their insecurities with some bullcrap excuses so that they don’t have to face the painful truth until it’s too late]

Amy: That's true. I know for me, I've had guys start feeding me some lines about how I'm the most beautiful woman they've ever seen, or how they'll always be there for me on, like, the second date. That definitely sets off my bullsh*t alarm. [Compliments work best if you do it with double meaning. “Hey, my aunty has got the same dress just like the one you are wearing. You've got good taste!”, smile and then talk about something else. Most girls will not get over it and then you’ll have an opening :)]

Player: But you are quite beautiful, Amy. You all are, in fact. You must get those kinds of compliments a lot, right?

Chiara: Yeah, sure, but if it's too early on, or it kind of comes out of nowhere, then it sounds too much like a ploy, you know?

Helen: Yeah, I don't want some guy upping the ante on me for no good reason. I mean, sometimes it's unnecessary compliments, or it could be physical advances, but I like to feel like things are moving at a natural pace. [That’s is why reading women magazine is a good thing. You know what tick them off and what kinda actions trigger what kinda emotions in them. So you learn what to do and what not to do by the stories they talked about in the magazine, although some articles are totally useless and maybe harmful but the Q&A can be really amusing sometime]

Player: Do you like to be in control, though, or do you prefer the man to take charge more?

Helen: No, I like the guy to be confident enough to have a plan for the evening, but without everything seeming so calculated that my interests seem almost incidental. You never know where the mood may take you, right? [Yes, you are right. You NEVER know where you’ll be having breakfast in the morning ;)]

Amy: Yeah, it's a pretty fine line. I mean, a charming guy can make everything that happens in an evening seem natural and even kind of... inevitable, I guess. [It’s natural to you because the charming guy is smart enough to make you feel that way. Or maybe he just got lucky]

Helen: I mean, I'm the woman, right? So if I want to take a shortcut and move things to a whole new level, I know I've got the tools [indicating her body] to do that. I don't need the guy pushing that angle too hard. Like Amy says, it's a pretty fine line, which is probably why so many guys screw it up, I guess. [True. A guy CANNOT move the thing to the new level. Only a girl can do that. Stupid guys will go all sexual and physical on the girl trying to get it into the new level. Smart guys will make the girl want to take it to a new level. The more you want it, the less they want it. The less you want it, the more they want it. It’s just like playing with the pussy cats. Hehe]

Player: You guys make it sound so hard.

Amy: No, no, wait. I mean, we're willing to go with the flow too, a bit. There are just some obvious don'ts that some guys don't seem to know about.

Player: Right. But before we get to those, I just want to get something straight. If the guy's been clear about his intentions and is paying attention and walking that fine line without falling off, what other things do you hope he will do?

Chiara: Well, I guess especially if he's been clear, then he's free to be all the more charming, like we were talking about.

Player: And how would each of you define "charming"?

Chiara: For me, I guess it's being considerate -- attending to my needs -- while also being intelligent and funny. You're right, that does sound like a lot! [Asking for more is better than settling with inadequacy and frustration. If you think you deserve better, then demand for it. If you think don’t think you deserve any better then just go with whatever you can find. It’s just a matter of how much one value oneself]

Helen: But it happens! I agree with the funny part, that's key. I'll take a guy who can hold a good conversation and make me laugh but is average in bed, over the best lay in the world who's kind of a bore any day of the week. [I remember a saying that I once read that goes something like this; “It’s not the size of the wand that matters, it’s the magic that you can do with the wand”]

Player: Even just for a fling?

Helen: Yup. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's got to be good in bed too, or else, what's the point? A nice guy who's a bad lay is called a friend. [LOL. I really laughed when I read this]

Player: I've never heard that word sound so bad.

Chiara: I agree with her. If he's found enough of my hot spots in bed, the real difference is whether or not he's good company. If we can have an intelligent conversation, that's sexy. But not just sex talk. It could be about movies or the news or whatever. And that goes for both before and after sex. [But it takes 2 to tango. As hard as it is to find a guy who can hold an intelligent conversation, it's just as hard finding a woman who can do the same. Most women these days are "arrogant". Not their fault directly but they do have some responsibilities. Most guys are just happy enough to get a girl. Women hold the trump card, sex, and they expect the guy to do almost everything and not doing anything herself. Women think that by having what men want (sex) they don't have to do anything else, and this kinda thought actually applies to a significant number of women in general. And truth is, a lot of men actually do not care if the girl can hold an intelligent conservation or not because all they want is sex (Scientifically proven. Men want "rewards" when in a relationship). And because of this, the number of women who are mentally stimulating is dwindling because they don’t see the need to be mentally stimulating, physical attraction is enough to them (or so they thought). And this put a number of men in disadvantage because there are guys who want more out of a girl then just physical gratifications]

Player: What about ending it? Is that awkward?

Helen: It doesn't have to be. People have to realize that these things just have a tendency to run their course. Novelty's a big part of it, so when it's not so hot and steamy anymore, some guys will start feeding you lines or making you promises or suddenly asking about your family just to keep it going.

Chiara: Or buying you flowers or other presents. [to compensate for the fading fire of passion]

Helen: Yeah, and that just looks sad. Be mature and realize that even if it's been great, people just move on sometimes, you know? Look, that's what happened with us, and we're still friends! [Like I said, the player has got class. A good role model]


End note from the player: No matter how charming you are, you can't always win them over or keep them interested forever. If a woman turns you down, remain a gentleman. Don't be a jerk. Otherwise, it may come back to bite you in the ass. [Amendment to me New Year’s resolution, no more jackass (not that I’m gonna be one anyway) and no more nice guy. But I think I can be a gentleman or maybe a gentleboy for a start :)]

"Bullet With Butterfly Wings" – The Smashing Pumpkins, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, CD 1 - Dawn To Dusk, Track 6

The world is a vampire, sent to drain
Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
And what do I get for my pain?
Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
Even though I know, I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold-like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal

But can you fake it, for just one more show
And what do you want, I want to change
And what have you got
When you feel the same

Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was the only son
Tell me I'm the chosen one
Jesus was the only son for you
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
And I still believe that I cannot be saved

Now this is something I don't understand.

A girl likes a guy (pizza guy) but she is not sure if the guy feels the same towards her. And since there's not much of an action from the guy, the girl decides to play the waiting game. Both of them actually have this little mutual feeling that they might like each other. Something like, the girl thinks the guy likes her and the guy thinks the girl likes him.

So one day, another guy (burger guy) asked the girl out and the girl accepted. And after that, the girl went and told the pizza guy that burger guy asked her out and ask what does pizza guy thinks about it?

I really don’t understand this. What is actually the point of the girl doing this? why does she has to go and tell the guy she likes that another guy asked her out and ask him what he thinks about it. What's the logical explanation about all this? Is she trying to make the guy jealous? Or "force" the guy to make a move faster? What's the whole reason behind her saying "hey, today burger guy asked me out and I said yes. Just curious what you thought about that?" to the guy that she actually likes.

From a guy's point of view, he could have just perceived such action as a sign of her saying "I've got a new guy now and I don’t want you anymore". She likes him and now she is going out with a guy she doesn't like and she is telling it to the guy she likes and ASKING his opinion about it?!?!? It's like she's saying "I like you but I am now going out with a guy I don’t like. So I was wondering what do you think about that?" That just makes no sense to me (or maybe it’s just me)

But I think I got a theory. I think the reason why the girl tells the guy about it is because she wants to feel "wanted". She wants the guy to say "don't go out with him, go out with me instead. Let’s come to my place and we'll have dinner. I cook". Something like being snatched out of shark’s mouth and into the arms of a scuba diver. Hehe. Something like those Shakespeare story where a girl was to marry a guy she doesn't like and got rescued by a knight in shinning armor.

But seriously thou, anyone who has an explanation of such behavior, please tell me. I am really curious what drives a girl to behave this way and the reasoning behind it (if any)

P/S: Got the idea from an episode of the Desperate Housewives. Although I do happen to notice that such behavior is quite common among the women in general. And that just got me really curious

[Just found myself another "knowledge source". But this time, it’s a "clean" one. I mean not those that teach you how to bed a girl in 38 minutes. But the thing with this particular new-found "knowledge source" is the language. I’m not really a fan of this kinda language. I prefer those that use plain and simple English. But still this one a good find. There are 200+ chapters in it and this is just an excerpt from one of the chapters] [This particular "knowledge source" focuses more on the self. Like a spiritual enlightenment thing]

All religions, philosophies, and psychologies agree that love is the key to fulfillment, to security, to creative growth. And yet love cannot be commanded, nor can it be a commandment. It is a free, spontaneous soul movement. The more people try to love as if it were a duty demanded by conscience and obedience, the less does it truly manifest.

Where love exists, there must be fulfillment. Lack of fulfillment is a sure sign that the soul has not yet learned to love.

Where love exists, there must be successful human relationships because in love's presence there is no fear, no distrust, no illusion. Love can flower only on the substantial soil of reality and fearlessness. Where one perceives reality in truth, one does not trust or distrust where it is inappropriate to do so. One accepts the other as he or she is, and adjusts one's own feelings to what the reality is. Then there is no necessity for groping in the dark, fearfully half-trusting, half-distrusting, thrown between one's needs and one's fears.

[If you do not understand the 2 paragraphs below, re-read it again, and for that matter, the paragraphs above too if needed. I’m not really sure what the first misunderstanding means but I get a feeling that I actually have the first misunderstanding.] [But what I want to emphasize here is about the second misunderstanding. Many people just do not realize this. And this creates problems, for themselves and people around them. I actually wanted to re-write everything into a much easier to understand form because it takes a few readings to actually fully get it cause I doubt most of you will take a second glance at it. And the language is actually too nice to make an impact. For people to pay attention, you just got to use the "in your face" approach.] [But for those who really wanna improve, who are flexible enough to acknowledge wisdom from others and not just brush it off because it contradicts with their "beliefs", I hope this could come as something good for you.]

The prohibition against loving comes from two basic misunderstandings. The first is misinterpretation of reality, in other words, illusion. Illusion produces confusion along with a host of negative emotions such as fear, hostility, separateness, self-pity, ambivalence, and vindictiveness. These emotions make love impossible. It is unthinkable when your innermost concepts, perceptions, and value systems are in accordance with reality that you could be afraid of loving.

The second misunderstanding is the underestimation of the self and the consequent inferiority feelings. This may sound almost paradoxical. Superficially viewed, it certainly seems possible to think little of oneself without impairing one's ability to love. And yet, my friends, this is not so. For in the moment you underestimate yourself you cannot possibly perceive the other person as real. By dint of your feelings of helpless weakness and inadequacy, others assume the role of giants against whom you defend yourself. This may take the form of rejecting, resenting, or despising them, but not then does it occur to you to sense the other's vulnerability and human needs. The other's strengths and weaknesses become distorted and discolored. Both come to represent elements hostile to you personally. Therefore your underestimation of yourself forces you into a hostile role, no matter how this is camouflaged by outer submissiveness which, in itself, may appear as lovingness. When you think so little of yourself you do not evaluate the importance of your actions and reactions.

[This one is from another source, a clean source. One of my favourites]
"Your intelligence did not change at the moment you realized that Santa Clause was a harmless fantasy. Your math and verbal skills stayed the same, but your awareness increased. You were suddenly aware that even stories from credible sources -- in this case your parents -- could be completely made up. And from the moment of that realization, you could never see the world the same way because your awareness of reality changed." [We believe in what we were made to believe as we grow up. I was made to believe as a kid that if I swallow some orange seeds, my head might grow an orange tree. It takes knowledge to be aware, yes, but if one refuse to acknowledge without any reasonable doubts, then it makes no difference. I could have just believed in my mom’s words and still think that my head will grow a tree if I swallow orange seeds. If I’m un-flexible, I could have argued that my mom would never lie to me. And yes, at one point, I’ll have enough knowledge to realize that it’s impossible for me to grow a tree on my head and then the next question would be, "why did my mom lied to me?" And that would still cause some problems if I did not understand why she "lied". Knowledge is not enough, awareness is the key. My mom says what she said because she wanted me to be more careful while eating fruits with seeds since most seeds are indigestible and that I could actually choke on it. Knowledge is in knowing that it’s impossible to grow a tree on my head and awareness is in understanding why my mom "lied" to me. Knowledge is what you read, what people tell you. Awareness is much more than that. Awareness comes from within and no one can teach you that but you]

"Awareness is about UNLEARNING. It is the recognition that you don't know as much as you thought you knew." [Ego (bad ego, there are good and bad egos) prevents such recognition. Try telling someone that what they believe all this while is wrong and that they have been living their life believing in something false. As an example, try telling the Christians and Muslims that there is no God or Allah (not trying to discriminate but Buddhism is a teaching, not religion and they don’t believe in one God and that’s why I didn’t include it). Flexible people will acknowledge such opinion (agreeing with it or not is a whole other thing) but the un-flexible would probably just kill you or convert you.] [Tell a guy that chasing after women is actually a wrong move. Tell him that women do not like to be chased. Tell him that giving gifts, compliments and everything will make no difference in regards of her interest in him. Tell him that he should not call a girl the very next day he got her number. Tell him that he should wait at least 3 days before calling. Most guys do not have self-control and they just won’t listen. You can only tell a person so much, and the rest if up to them]

[Kinda sakit hati right now. I used to be damn rich in neopets.com and then they deleted my account because they say I cheated. And I DID NOT cheat. And recently I created a new account, first thing I did was to go gamble in hopes to strike the jackpot. And now I am broke, again. Melle, I want money! I need money to gamble! Hehe. I think I’ve lost 10K gambling already]

[Teri Hatcher holding up her hair with a pencil. My kinda girl ;)] [The shots were captured from the pilot(1st) episode from the show Desperate Housewives]

[Nice figure for a lady her age. And I like her better now than before when she was in that Superman show]


[I think the position of the pencil in this shot is different than the one above. But she's still gorgeous]


[If only she had tied up all her hair in a bundle (or watever you women call it) and hold it up with a pencil, it would have look even nicer. Show some neck.]


[She's not really that pretty but there's just something about her. I think it's the eyes]


[Btw, that's her daughter in the show. Not pretty. She can act but not pretty. Doesn't do justice to her "mom". Maybe she got her "father's" gene.]


[Ok, I know what to do. I'll go punish myself now. Still got 10 more episodes to watch. Just finished watching every episodes of Joey. Lucy Liu is damn cute in Joey. Didn't have much impact on me when she was in Ally but in Joey, her character is really cute. And she plays it PERFECTLY. And she's growing on me. And I'll go now]

Been watching Joey and Desperate Housewives lately and I got to say both are really good show. Joey is the spin-off show from Friends staring Joey obviously. Really good show, at least in my opinion. Pretty funny.

Desperate Housewives on the other hand is pretty interesting. It’s pretty much like Sex And The City but instead of single women, it stars housewives, or should I say desperate housewives.

Haven’t really finish watching all the episodes yet but I think guys can learn a few things from Joey on tips on how to pick up girls. Joey may seem a little nutty but he really does knows his way with the girls. And there is this one episode where he teaches his nephew on how pick up and deal with girls in the bar. The advices were pretty accurate. Almost the same with what I’ve read in my "bibles". Hehe. I really hope Joey is not just a one-off season show. The show does look promising. At least I get to laugh.

As for Desperate Housewives, it practically sums up a lot on the typical real housewives. In that show you have a housewife that cheats on her husband with a college boy (I’m sure there will be others than just the boy). And then you have this one housewife that suicide on the second episode because of some internal family matter (at least it seems that way to the audience). And then you have another housewife that is a control freak. She is a perfectionist and she wants everything perfect in the eyes of other. She wants to be seen with her husband as the PERFECT couple, the golden couple. She controls everything even on things about her husband. She practically treats her husband like a baby. And as we all know that this could only spell disaster. And then there’s the normal housewife with 3 kids and a loving husband. But since all of the housewives are actually best friends, you know there’ll be some influence on her. You get to see on how she tries to make it work as a happy family coping with their own daily chores and work.

And the last housewife is my favorite. She is a divorced housewife with a daughter (shared custody with her ex-husband, the husband gets the weekend). Her husband left her for a younger woman. And in one episode, she locked herself out of the house naked, yes, naked. And then she fell on a bush and at the same time, a guy came to her house. Imagine her embarrassment, and the sight of her running around while carrying a flower pot (yes, a flower pot) covering up the "strategic" spot (hey, it rhymes). Hehe. And she is Teri Hatcher :)

I think guys should watch Joey for some tips and also for some light-hearted laugh and the girls should watch Desperate Housewives and reflect on what kinda housewife you wanna be in the future. The show Desperate Housewives just shows you the type of housewives there is in this world. Things that they do behind the back of their husbands. It shows you the true color of women. The side that we don’t get to see often.

[Ok, I lied again. Me bad boy. And now me gonna go punish meself by watching some Joey and Desperate Housewives]

[Follow up on my previous post regarding my "Along Came Polly" statement. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston are officially seperating now. Maybe after all my Polly might just come along. You can never blame a guy for hoping rite? Hehe :p]

[Same thing, bold and bracket = me. The rest = article]

Love, romance and relationship don't all go together quite as well as we might imagine. Romance, in particular, doesn't have that much to do with love or relationship... even when you happen to be a deeply romantic Sagittarian. [I can't argue with that. Sagittarians are indeed very romantic and intriguing but problem is they just don't simply show it. Like how Forrest Gump put it; it's like a box of chocolate, you never know when you'll see the chocolate (ok, I paraphrased it). Sagittarians don't usually put their best feet forward (in this matter). Sagittarians are humble people and they don't like to show off even when they have all the right to do so. So most of the time, Sagittarians save the best for last. They save the best for those who deservedly enough able to see through it and reap the reward, to put it in a way]

You have wonderful visions that you want to reach for and fulfill. You love to imagine what might be achievable and then to reach for it. But in the process, you sometimes end up undervaluing and underestimating the importance of what has already been achieved. [I guess this is true. And this brings me back to Alexander (saw a National Geographic documentary on him today). He really did undervalue what he already achieved and he shouldn't have gone to Asia. He should have gone back to Babylon first. When you see too far ahead and too eager, you often see with tunnel vision, oblivious to what that is already there for you]

To you, romance is about adventure, and adventure isn't always something that sits well within relationships. Interdependency can challenge the desire for independence. That, as you have discovered on several occasions lately, can produce problems. [Everything about Sagittarians is adventure. They didn't depict Sagittarian as a horse (half house) for nothing. And from what I read (I did not make this up myself, so please don't call me perasan) Sagittarians are the best male partner to be with. And for female, it's Gemini girls.] [True to its kind, a horse, Sagittarians don't really settle down that easily BUT if you can make them settle, they will stay loyal to you. A dog never bites the hand that feeds him and so does a horse will never leave his owner/master. It's not in a Sagittarian for him to do anything bad on purpose. We Sagittarians are good people *laugh*, and not to mention sometimes stupidly loyal]

You very much enjoy the opportunity to relate and to be close to somebody, yet that need to express yourself so spontaneously is a crucial part of who you are. So, you keep dreaming that one day someone will see exactly what it is that you need and that you in turn will be able to understand what they need and all those tense misunderstandings will just become a thing of the past. [I really like what the article say about this one. Like I said earlier, Sagittarians do not like to show off and the same goes to expressing their feelings (but that doesn't mean they don't care). You just gotta know that, sometimes, some things go without saying. You just got to feel it, with your heart, or with your hand if you must ;)]

...you keep dreaming that one day someone will see exactly what it is that you need... [I was stunned when I see this. Honest to goodness, this is the exact same thought that I have. Like what Rupert (from Survivor All-Stars) said about his wife, "She is the only one who sees through me". Sagittarians just won't go round saying, "I want it like this, I want it like that". It just doesn't work that way for Sagittarians, which is why some feels that it's hard to be with a Sagittarian for the long haul even though it's a blast being with him. Sagittarians need someone who can see thru them and know what they need without them telling. This may sound too much work and stupid or selfish perhaps, but that's just the price you gotta give if you want a horse. Here horsie horsie ... here kitty kitty. Hehe]

Now, that's a romantic view if ever I heard one, but I'm not here to tell you that it can't be fulfilled. It can. [Of coz it can be fulfilled! I am counting on that. Hehe]

But in order to fulfill it, you have to stop looking for the truly impossible and ask yourself how close you may have already come to just such an idyll? [Sagittarians want perfection. Hehe. But try look at it this way. If you already have a Sagittarian by your side and that can only mean one thing; you are PERFECT in his/her eyes. And there is NOTHING more flattering than that. Hehe. And my sweet talk skill is getting better ;) And you Sagittarians can thank me later]

The newly-discovered planet Sedna, from her powerful position in the sixth house of your solar chart, now urges you to focus on something preoccupying, overwhelming and overpowering that, prior to now, you have been prone to see as a big obstacle to happiness. This thing is hypnotizing you to some extent. Yet, actually, it needs to be taken less seriously. And the good within it needs to be acknowledged. [I really have to give it to this guy. The stuffs he writes are frighteningly accurate. I know all this is just a matter of perception but when I read the other signs, I don't feel anything and it didn't even come close. I don't know how to explain this paragraph but he did got it right. There were things that are holding me back in my mind. Things that blocked me from even trying. Sigh.]

Just remember that, each time an awkward issue arises in the coming year, and all the love you need will yet rather magically find its way to you. [Sure hope that's the case :) Maybe Polly will come along, hence "Along Came Polly"]

[Help, I can't stop lying. I've turned into a compulsive liar. Help me! Hehe :p]

[Aren't they just adorable? :) Like I said, some things go without saying. You don't really have to say IT to actually mean IT. That's the higher level of communication. Communication that comes from mutual understanding, trust, honesty, sincerity, and all the ty-ty you can think of]

[Calvin would really make a great Sagittarian]

[When I first finish reading this, I was totally astounded. This was published in today's - 6th January - Malay Mail. And this is by far the most accurate astrology review that I've ever read] [Those in bold and brackets are my words and the rest are from the article]

In the story of Sedna, the ancient inuit ocean goddess. Whose name has been given to the newly-discovered planet at the edge of our solar system, there's a tale of betrayal and deception, of loyalty and dedication, and of learning to produce positivity, even from life's most severe hardship. [I'm not really sure what this really means but I guess it meant that "what that doesn't kill you will only make you stronger." And I am still breathing]

Duty also enters into the story – just as it has entered your story in the year since that planet first turned up in the part of your chart that governs obligation to others. Just look at your life at the moment. [My life at the moment? The year started off bad but it's getting good. It felt different now... It felt nice. It felt like I'm in chocolate. Sticky. Hehe :p]

Consider the number of sacrifices you seem to be making and the amount you are putting up with, simply because you care so much about doing the right thing in a stressful situation. [What more can I say? Misery from sacrifice, and all because I care (which I really do care). Too much conscience may not be a good thing after all]

That situation won't vanish overnight in 2005, but it will become a lot less stressful, as you begin to grow a lot more powerful. [This is indeed the year for growing up. Yeah, and I'll be learning on how to let loose on me conscience too. Sometimes a man's greatest enemy is himself. You got it right. I have been too hard on myself. Thanks :)]

You already know that you have strengths in areas where a lot of people have weaknesses. You are aware, too, that some of this works in your favor and some works against you. [Knowledge is power. But sometimes knowing too much will just hurt you. I know things that I want more people to know because I believe it would do good to everyone and the world if they were to just know what I know. But the difficulty to actually get my "knowledge" out to the masses is really frustrating. And I end up with a burden from this frustration coz I care too much. This is the main reason why I started to blog. To ease the burden on my chest]

You have even been known to wonder whether some of your greatest gifts might actually be punishments. [I feel like crying now. *sob*sob* Finally someone understands how I felt all this while] [This could just possibly be how King Midas might have felt when he was granted with the Golden Midas Touch.]

But this is all perfectly natural. With power comes responsibility. With power, too, comes the potential for loss of power. [A quota from Tony Montana in Scarface: "you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women." And it's true. Tony lost everything in the end because he has too much power. Same goes to Alexander. Never underestimate a man's (your own) greed]

That's why many powerful people try to avoid things they don't want to face or to operate only within area where they feel safe. You, though, can't ever live in fear of anyone or anything. So it is precisely because you are due to become so much more powerful in 2005 that you now need to go to the very extremes of your current power and discover where it turns to weakness. [I guess it practically means that I shouldn't think too much about the consequences of my actions since I got to know what's my limit. But I guess I'll be fine. I could always get by with my charm. Hehe. It'll be more reading, taking more chances, less worrying of what would happen, and gun for it. Well, of coz not membabi buta like that. Got to use some brain also rite? ;)]

Think of yourself as a great ruler being taken to the edges of your empire and shown the encroaching threat from other forces so you can truly understand: "Here's what you should let go of, here's what you must protect and here's where you can advance." [If only Alexander knew, he would be been greater than greatest. He only knows where to advance and he made mistakes in what he should have protected and let go of, at least in the movie it seems that way. Be my own God and now I have my own empire. Hehe :p. For this New Year, I've let go of stuffs. And I now know I should protect myself more and I should grow up to advance. Man, I now sound like a child getting toilet trained for the first time]

Tomorrow, we'll look at what your love life has in stores. [Make sure there's something good in store for me in my love life. I don't want to be a king without a queen. Although I'll settle for concubines and mistresses for the time being. Hehe]

Meanwhile, if you feel apprehensive about 2005, that's as it should be. The year brings one of the biggest opportunities of your entire life! [Interestingly, this is the year of chicken and I am a chicken. Ok, tat didn't come out right. I'm gonna make this work! By all means I'm gonna make this one right!!!]

[No song for this one but lately I've been listening to a lot of Jacky Cheung's songs. All nice songs. Of all Chinese singers, he has the best voice. And yeah, I ... ermmmm .... lied again. But it's a good lie. If I hadn't lied you won't be reading this either rite?]