Nice guys finish last, but on this fateful day, this fateful December 23 years ago… I finish first (out of the millions you know what).

Ocean’s twelve starts on 9th December and twelve is the new eleven. I’m the new twelve… hehe

9th December 2004

1.30AM: got an SMS from a friend (the one who’s a solid piece of work… hehe) wishing me. Saw that the message was received at 1.00AM so I guess the phone must have vibrated for half an hour. Saw the message and then send her back a thank you reply and went back to sleep.

2.00AM: woke up again. Getting pretty tired these few days and the fact that 2 hours later there’s a football match. Went to take a bath, warm up the leftover dinner my family left for me (my family loves me, they would never let me starve so they leave me with the leftovers… hehe) nothing much to eat but enough to get me thru the morning.

2.30AM: went back online (the line was already hooked up, so basically I just went back to the chair). Surf a little, download a lot, listen a little and watch a lot. Was still trying to look for F.I.R’s songs but to no avail so I’ll just settle with Green Day for now. For those who never heard of Green Day, they’ve just come out with a new album, American Idiot and their first 2 singles from the album went no. 1 on the modern rock billboard. The latest single, “boulevard of broken dreams” is SERIOUSLY darn nice. And when I say nice, IT IS really nice.

3.30AM: me got no Astro at home so I’ll just have to settle with whatever the free TV has to offer so I got AS Roma vs. Real Madrid on the tube. Me mom still don’t want to let me have Astro coz she scared I’ll get lazier (a valid point she got there I have to say). And me being a good boy who always listens to his mom of coz I’ll do what she say… hehe. I would have gone for piercing and tattoos if it wasn’t my mom objecting.

3:35AM: the malay guy on the TV still talking crap before the match start. And btw, a little background on the most important match, the Liverpool match. Today was the last match in the group stage and Liverpool needed to win in order to get thru to the next round. They needed to win by 1-0 or at least 2 clear goals. It’s either do or die.

3:45AM: match starts. Me got no Astro so meaning no Liverpool match for me. The AS Roma vs. Real Madrid match was not bad. So during the match, they will occasionally update the score from other match.

3:55AM: there was a score line update and Liverpool was down 0-1 and the sound of my breaking heart was deafening. I was like, “oh come on… don’t do this to me, not today”.

4:30AM: half-time. Went to check the score on a website, Liverpool is indeed down 0-1. Sakit hati gila wa cakap sama lu. Sakit perut pun tak sakit macam ni.

4:45AM: match resume for second half.

4:53AM: score line update, Liverpool equalized. Was a bit happy but still pretty much heart broken.

[Forgot what time] AM: another score line update, Liverpool leading 2-1. Start praying.

[3 minutes before full time] AM: another score line update. Liverpool 3 – 1 Olympiakos. Went jumping and screaming (not too loud, or I’ll get whack by my family. They love me that’s for sure but they dun appreciate a nutcase screaming in the middle of the morning while they are sleeping)

[after match end] until now: pretty much still happy from the result. Gonna be real happy if by the end of the day me can get a woman in chocolate. Hehe (well, you can’t blame a guy for wishing)


P/S: for those who ask why don’t I write anymore.

It’s not that I don’t want to write… but I guess I’ve just lost it. I supported Liverpool since I was a kid. Even if they suck these days, I still love them. Win or lose I’ll forever be a fan and that’s because I believed in them and it’s my passion.

I started writing because I’m selfish. Mom always says that I am hard headed and stubborn. True. I believe in my point of view and I’ll continue believing and defending whatever I believe until someone can prove me otherwise. And the selfish part is that, I want people to hear me. I could talk to people but who would care? So I ended up writing because 1. I cant fulfill my selfishness 2. sometimes it’s easier talking to paper than talking to human (at least paper won’t ask u stupid question.

Why I stop writing? Because after 3 months of writing, no doubt I feel better every time after I write a post (or like they say, you feel “lighter”), but I realize something that it doesn’t change anything. I can write as much as I want and feel good about it but in the end, it doesn’t change a shit. So why should I even bother?

Call me naïve but every time I read the papers I just don’t understand why some assholes do what they do. The bombing, killing, raping, incest, mugging, beating and everything. Stupid guy writing to the “I need help” column telling the nation his girlfriend left him and now he’s contemplating suicide. Stupid girl can’t decide between A and B. A treat me very nice but I like B and I don’t want to lose either one of them. What should I do?

People who know me will know that I’ll have a lot to say about all this but I’ve come to a realization that no matter how much I do and say, some people will just never change.

Some say that I’m the one who should change, perhaps I should and I did. I’ve changed from needing to get myself heard to “screw it, it won’t change a thing”.

I have the passion but I lost the motivation. Maybe a woman in chocolate can help the motivation… hehe.

Thank you… to whoever’s still reading.

Me birthday wish: peace and woman in chocolate.