sex and the city - season 1 @ episode 4

[From now on, I'm gonna post on 2 blogs. The other will be on MSN Spaces. I find it easier to post there but me still gonna post here but maybe with a slight delay compare to MSN Spaces]

[Me MSN Spaces: http://spaces.msn.com/members/valiumed/]

[Another piece on Sex And The City. This is from the 4th episode from Season One. Episode titled "Valley Of The Twenty-Something Guys". And btw, instead of doing the whole show like what I did on the 2nd and 3rd episode, I just pick on this one particular conversation only. But if I feel like it, I might do a "episode 3 - revisited".]

[Everything in bold and bracket = me, everything else = exact quotes from the show]

[Carrie In the taxi with Charlotte]
Carrie: Okay, words are essential. Tell me exactly how he worded it.
Charlotte: "We've been seeing each other for a couple of weeks. I really like you. And tomorrow night after dinner... I want us to have anal sex." [A couple of weeks and he already asking for this? I actually wonder if this could actually work if someone tries this with girls in this country. And keep in mind that Charlotte is actually the nicest among the 4 of them]
Carrie: Okay, next stop is gonna be 62nd and Madison. [Carrie directing the taxi driver on where to go]
Charlotte: 62nd and Madison?
Carrie: We're picking up Miranda.
Charlotte: No, God, no.
Carrie: Yes.
Carrie: And then we're picking up Samantha.
Charlotte: Oh, Carrie, no.
Carrie: Sweetie, listen. You need all the girl support you can get, and I'm late for drinks with Big. [Yeah, girl support. Why didn’t men have such support? I mean, maybe the girl is into dominatrix-whipping-you-are-my-slave kinda stuffs and the guy does not know what to do. Will he call for "boy support"? I’d probably call for girl support]
Charlotte: Oh, that's great.
Carrie’s Narration: Even in her state of abject blackness, Charlotte was a dating optimist.

[Miranda is now in the taxi/cab]
Miranda: It depends. How much do you like him?
Charlotte: A lot.
Miranda: "Dating a few months until somebody better comes along" a lot... or "marrying and moving to East Hampton" a lot? [This actually gets me thinking for a while. Women actually date guys with the sole intention of just filling the void before they find someone better. If a girl does that, you’ll argue that she’s just keeping her options open. But if a guy does that, you’d be calling him a jerk or an asshole. Such double standard is absurd. If you want to just date a guy while waiting for somebody better to come along then just make it clear from the start. Some guys would be happy to take up such offer. Just be honest]
Charlotte: I don't know. I'm not sure.
Miranda: Well, you better get sure real quick.
Charlotte: You're scaring me.
Carrie: Don't scare her.
Miranda: It's all about control. If he goes up there, there's gonna be a shift in power. Either he'll have the upper hand or you will. Now, There's a certain camp that believes whoever holds the dick holds the power. [At this moment, the taxi driver looks back at them and I cannot control myself laughing. But the truth is, whoever holds the dick does indeed holds the power. I mean, think about it. The only way to control a man (most man; the common man) is actually thru sex. All the things that a man does, a man does it with the ultimate goal in mind and that goal is sex no matter how far fetched it may seems. And truth is; women already know that (even if they try to deny it). So, whoever holds the dick; holds the power. If a guy is a sucker for sex or anything sexual (well, all men are sucker for anything sexual. The difference is the level of self-control) and have no self-control, a woman would be holding his dick and whipping him with it. But instead, if a man has got more self-control, he would be holding back his own dick (metaphorically speaking that is. NOT literally)] [Ok, I’m feeling weird now typing too many "dick’s" in one paragraph]

Miranda: Hello! You're driving. [To the taxi driver]

Miranda: The question is... if he goes up your butt, will he respect you more or less? That's the issue. [True, even thou me no expert in the "up the butt" thing, but it does have something to do with respect at the end of the day. Some people are fine with doing/experimenting anything sexual (think Samantha) but some people are more of a conservative. Truth is, we never know how certain things are going to affect us until we actually been thru it. Like for example you ask your boyfriend how many women he has been with. You would think that you can handle the answer no matter what it is but truth is, you never know and chances are, you WILL NOT BE ABLE to handle the truth. Same with this situation, the guy ask for "up the butt" with Charlotte and he might think that it won’t change anything in the relationship but chances are, there could be a possibility that he might start to not respect Charlotte anymore after that. Perhaps not consciously, but still. And perhaps, after the whole up the butt thing, their relationship will never go up to the next level and be forever stuck]

[Later on in the show, when Charlotte confronts the guy, she said "I don’t want to be the up the butt girl because, I mean, men don’t marry the up the butt girl. Whoever heard of Mrs. Up The Butt". And at the end, the guy says, "can we fcuk the regular way?". I actually think that I’ve learn a trick of some sort here but I just can’t quite figure out what trick I just learned. Maybe I’ll sleep on it]

[On a related story, I once read of an article about why married guys should have a mistress (don’t get me wrong, this is taken out of context so it may sound rude and selfish and insensitive but I got to keep this short, but the article does makes a good point). I can’t really recall the whole article words by words but one quote from the article still sticks in my mind. I think it’s actually a quote from the movie "The Godfather". It goes something like this; "my wife kisses my kids good night with that". It needs a little imagination to get the point, so, go figure]

Taxi Driver: No, no smoking in cab.
Carrie: Sir, we're talking "up the butt." A cigarette is in order. [She smokes Marlboro. Light I think]

[Samatha is now in the cab/taxi]
Samatha: Front, back, who cares? A hole is a hole. [Oh, God... I can’t stop laughing]
Miranda: Can I quote you? [I’m gonna quote that]
Samatha: Oh, don't be so judgmental. You could use a little back door. [Hahaha. LOL. I am going to use that line to whoever that gets cranky around me]
Charlotte: I'm not a hole. [Seriously, this is better than watching comedy. This gets me laughing harder more than anything. And not to mention the constant surprises. I mean, I’m literally shocked with how far they actually push the limit here. But it’s just sad that this country will never gonna see it on national TV, it’s a good show]
Carrie: Honey, we know.
Samantha: Look, all I'm saying is that this is a physical expression... that the body was designed to experience. And P.S., it's fabulous. [I call her (Samantha) a Try-sexual; someone who would try anything sexual]
Charlotte: What are you talking about? I went to Smith.
Samatha: Look, I'm just saying, with the right guy and right lubricant... [Samantha, Carrie and Miranda are giggling at this moment and so did the Indian (or Pakistani) cab driver and suddenly, the taxi hits a road bump]
Charlotte: What was that?
All Together: A preview. [Everyone went laughing]

[Got this from a friend’s blog. Bold and bracket = me, others = me friend]

I think the Singapore Government, in general, is getting more and more concern about Singapore's low rate of population, and high rate of career-oriented-singles. I was flipping thru a copy of the Her World magazine, for the month of March 2005, which I have bought some time ago, and didn't have time to finish it. And I happened to stumbled upon this really interesting article to teach Singapore females on how to get a guy in 10 days. The author of the article experimented on this, and she claimed that the recipe works ! Looks like the ratio of Singaporean females ending up as spinster is pretty much on the high side. Else, why would they want to come out with such articles ? =) So, here's the recipe .... Have fun!

[She claimed the recipe works because she has to. Otherwise, would anyone believe her and who would even bother reading if she say "oh... by the way, this recipe does not work". The reason why the number of female ending up as spinster is not because they do not know how to "snag" a guy. All women KNOW how to snag a guy. They are born with it. The only reason why they are on road to being a spinster is because Singaporean guys are getting tired of Singaporean girls’ attitude. Period. Singaporean women are getting way too caught up in the whole iron-woman, career-orieted-woman thing. Being liberal is one thing, being a feministas is another. Singaporean women are getting more and more like their counterparts in America. And no, it’s NOT a compliment]

Day 1 - Zoom in on the prey. The target is to find a guy to date and get his contact number. The most effective flirting tools you have are your eyes. Do the glance and linger then look away. After a few times, the other person will know you're interested and hopefully return the eye contact. Make him take notice of you by being the life of the party. Buddy up with him, then on the presence of doing some activity together, get his contact number. [The glance and linger thing is good. Guys should do that too. Glance and linger until she looks back at you and once you’ve established a direct eye contact with her, continue looking into her eyes for a few more seconds then while still keeping eye contact, get up and walk up to her. But the truth is, not many women will do what the author proposes. It takes a daring woman to pull it off, a Gemini woman perhaps. If at the end of the day, the guy did not ask for your number, it doesn’t matter. There could only be one reason why a guy would not ask for your number. He is just not interested. But if you are really interested in him, instead of asking for his number, the best way is to give him yours. That way, you do not come off as desperate because if you ask for his number, you’ll have to call him, a thing that VERY LITTLE women do. So, instead give him your number and tell him that you guys could do something together sometimes. Give him the impression that it will be worth his while to give you a call. Men are like donkeys with carrots. They do no need to get the actual carrot to move; just an impression of getting the carrot is good enough (this applies to most guys, The Common guys - Hitch)]

Day 2 to 3 - Touch base. Remind him of your existence. Keep in touch with him so that he won't forget you. Send a friendly sms. Not one of those forwarded ones, but one that leaves things open for conversation. If he forgot who you are, just refresh his memory about the things you guys talked about. Laugh about it and see if he will still continue to message you. [Seriously, do not send forwarded SMS. Show some sincerity and create one up yourself. The problem with most women when conversing in a SMS conversation is that they do not take much effort in it. Guys would do much of the asking and the girl will just answer it and not bother to try to prolong it. They leave it all up to the guys. It’s all receiving and no giving. Seriously, good looks can only get you shallow men. If you want guys with substance, get some substance for yourself first]

Day 4 to 6 - Push for a date. Ask him out, or make him ask you out. Whine a little and mentioned how bummed you are because your plans have been cancelled. He might get the hint and ask you out. Another alternative would be, to tell him you're dying to do that activity, but your friend isn't free. Then ask if he's free to accompany you.
[
Girl: bla bla bla... my friend isn’t free... yada yada yada… plan cancelled... bla bla bla... are you free... yada yada yada (multiply with infinity)
Guy: I really appreciate the effort but you don’t really have to work so hard. If you want to ask me out, well… just ask me out.
Girl: What? Just ask you? (that’s the whole point rite?)
Guy: Yeah, you know, like... Do you want to go out Saturday?
Girl: Yeah!
Guy: Great, we have a date *hang up*
]

Day 7 to 9 - It's a date. Intrigue him so that he'll want a second date. Dress to impress. Clothes make you feel confident. Less is more so keep the overall style simple. Keep makeup to a minimum for a natural look. Let him do all the gentlemanly things he can do. It shows he cares and wants to do the right thing. Don't be a bitch and take that away from him. Also, it would be of great help to prepare a list of questions in case you run out of things to say. It's also a great icebreaker to just acknowledge it and say: "Are we having one of those weird silent moments?" [Intrigue him with what you want from him. If you want a guy with brains then intrigue him with your brains. If you want the guy for his body, then by all means, strip of all your clothes and dance on top of the table. Kidding, but that would be cool if I ever get that. Hehe. I really doubt girls would even bother preparing a list of questions. Women are arrogant, they think that by giving the guy a date, she is doing him a favor already and she does not have to do anything else. And I just feel sad for guys who fall for girls like this. And yeah, touch him. I mean on the arms. Like when you’re laughing at his jokes or something, touch him arm or hand for a good few seconds. Guys should NEVER try to touch a girl on the first date but girls who are interested in a guy should at least touch the guy. Slap his arm or something or when you see something interesting and you want him to look at it too, take his hand and bring him there. Not fingers locking, just grab his wrist. It’s innocent and it works]

Day 10 - Yes, I got him. Play it cool, but still show some interest. Most men will call within 48 hours if they are interested in seeing their date again. [Common guys will call right after the date on the same day if he wants another date (big mistake for coming off desperate). Not common guys will either call after 3 days or after a week. There’s 2 schools of thought regarding this matter, Joey goes for the 3 days rule. Established players go for the one week rule coz they need time putting buffer in between girls]

However, there are also 3 golden rules to stick to when trying the method above. Do not push if he ....

Looks around the room a lot and doesn't make eye contact. Or, even worse, he is checking out other woman [Obvious sign he’s not interested. Or maybe he’s just making sure he is spending time with the most beautiful women around. Or maybe he’s checking if his wife is around]

Talks about how busy he is, hinting that he doesn't have time to date you. [Or maybe he’s hinting, lets no waste anymore time with all this and let’s go back to my place and get the real party started]

Talks all the time on the cell phone and ignores you (unacceptable, even for a doctor!) [Get his cell phone number and call him then talk there]

Sounds very easy, isn't it ? I'm still wondering on the percentage of hitting on a guy with those 5 golden technique given by the author of Her World. Anyone who wants to experiment, and then update me with the results ? If it does not work, I'll remove this recipe from my blog instantaneously ! Hehe .. [The percentage is going to be high if she hit on desperate guys and the percentage is going to be low if she uses it to hit on worthwhile guys. The key is what kinda guys she’s aiming for. A guy can use a certain technique in a disco and get tons of girls but that doesn’t mean he’ll have the same success rate if he tries the same technique at a church]

[If you want a man to be more of a man, try being more of a woman yourself]

[Btw, a friend of mine says that she’s getting sien with all my debate on male, female, sexism, etc so I asked her to give me something to write about. She suggested I write about me and my fantasies. So now I’m going talk about my fantasy. My fantasy is ... YOU *wink* So I guess I don’t have to write anymore on my fantasy. One word says it all. Maybe I'll create some fantasies with you ;)]

Sex And The City - Season 1 @ Episode 3 - Bay Of Married Pigs

[Bracket and bold = me, everything else = quotes from the episode]

Brokers give investment advice. Architects, design advice. Single people give married friends tidbits from their sexual escapades. [I once read an article somewhere that says, it's easy to get women if you are good in bed and it doesn't mean just one woman. When a guy is really good in bed and satisfies his partner "thoroughly", the words will get around and women will start coming at you, especially the friends of the women he just slept with. Women share everything among themselves; one reason is because women in general are extremely competitive among themselves. Sometimes, when a woman becomes the third party in a relationship, it's not because she loves the guy, it's actually because she's competing with the other woman. Men just get stuck in between the battle. Be a stud in bed and girls will start coming at you. But if you're a dud, the words go around too. So be generous and give more and you'll get 10 times the reward. Guys who are unselfish in bed often get more in return than they could handle. Not that it's a bad thing *wink*]

When someone gets married, all bets are off. They become married, and we become the enemy. [Women. Can never understand them]

Married women are threatened because we can have sex... anytime, anywhere with anyone. And they're afraid we're gonna have it anytime, anywhere with their husbands [Hehe. This is good. So why get married?]

Face it, ladies. If you're still single, you are not to be trusted [And why is that? Because, as a woman, you know what other women are capable of and you know how other women think and how manipulative and cunning they can be. And to be fair, single women should indeed not to be trusted (by married women). As I said earlier, women in general are very competitive, they love challenge and what is better than the challenge of catching a married man? Most women who go for the married man with reasons other than financial are women who seek validations. They don't love the guy; they just wanna know that they still "have it". If I can have another woman's man, that means I'm better than that woman. Women loves that]

[A guy who is often surrounded with girls will get a girl easier than a nice guy who's often alone. The reason is, why want a guy who no women want when you can have a guy that other women are fond of. Obviously there's something about the guy that makes all the women like him so in a way, if a guy is often surrounded with girls, it makes him much more attractive so to speak. That being said, it's far more easier to pick up a girl at a disco or pub when you are with a girl than when you're with a bunch of guys]

The ones [married women] who don't fear you pity you [single women] - [This is true. If they don't fear you, they really do pity you. If they are not jealous of you, they do pity you]

Carrie: Is there a secret cold war between marrieds and singles? [It's not cold war, it's borderline hypocrisy. The reason why the marrieds are "afraid" or hate the singles so much is because they know how women work. When women are single, they want man who is stable, committed and stuffs and often you get that from married man. And women too know that, other woman's man is often a good target. When they are single, they want married/attached man, when they are married, they hate single women. It's something like a guy who is a stud, a babe-magnet. He got all the tools to get any girl he wants. But when he got married and has a daughter, he will dread the fact that his daughter might meet a guy like himself. It's basically the same with women, they know what women are capable of and that is why they do not like single women after they got married. A woman loves it when she knows that she can get any guy she wants but she will hate it if another girl like her shows up on her husband] [It's like saying "I know I can get any guy I want and I love that, but I hate it when another girls who can get any guy she wants shows up hitting on my husband". Another way to put it, "It's ok if I do it to others but it's not ok if others do it to me". Some women will find a reason (women justifications a.k.a logic that makes no sense) to hit on a married man but when she got married and another girl hit on her husband, she'll flip big time]

I love my single friends. But now that I'm married... I don't see them as much as I used to. It's too painful. They remind me of how desperate I used to be. [Well, I've been reading this line again and again for 10 minutes and I just don’t know what to say]

Christ! When did being single translate into being gay? [This is another social prejudice. And this is too why people kept getting on with the wrong person. They did not choose properly. They are pressured to be attached because of the labels society puts on single man and woman. They don't really care who they are with, as long as they are not single, that's good enough. Some people just do things for all the wrong reasons. And then you had an accident and got married with the wrong guy. If you want to have an accident, make sure you have it with the right guy. Single women are labeled as outcasts, unattractive, nobody-wants. Single men will get the loser tag, wimp, hopeless. Is it really that important to be attached to someone? People who consciously decide to be single until they find someone they really like are much more secure of themselves that those who hang on to someone while they're on the lookout for someone else] [Although I do admit that it's much more easier to just tell people that I'm gay instead of explaining why I'm still single. They would never understand. See what society has made me into? A liar. Sigh]

Maybe the cold war isn't about hate. Maybe it's about fear, fear of the unknown. Married people don't hate singles. They just want us figured out. [They don't hate, they just fear. Fear of what single women are capable of. Especially desperate single women. Women are ruthless and women never fight fair]

Sean [the guy who wants to get married]: I don't understand you women. All I hear is... "I want to get married." And none of you says yes. What the fuck? I'm so tired of going through women. I just want to get married. [I don't believe in this. If you really want to get married, you got to choose properly. You can't get married for the sake of just getting married. That is stupid. A man should never get tired of going through women; he just got to keep on moving until he finds the one. Good things do not come easy. If you think you are a good man then believe in yourself that there's a good woman out there. But If you don't think there's a good woman out there, then perhaps it also means that, you're not such a good man after all]

Man has his will –but- woman has her way -- Oliver Wendell Holmes [Another reason why women often feel threaten by another women, because she knows all women have their own way of getting what they want. Never underestimate a woman. She may be weak but she has her ways]

In revenge and in love woman is more barbarous than man. -- Friedrich Nietzche [Need I say more?]

1. Have you ever placed a bet on a friend?
Many times... and you still got the chance to see me go bald if you take the deal ;)

2. Have you ever flirted with someone who had a bf/gf?
I don't see anything wrong with it (not that the question implied anything about right or wrong). It doesn't matter who you flirt with, what matters is who you go back to at the end of the day

3. Have you ever cried in public?
Do I look like a sissy to you? No!

4. Have you ever loved someone so much you cried?
Again... do I look like a sissy? Again... No! But I'd do more than crying for that someone who I love so much.

5. Have you ever been out of the country?
Yeah... on a spying mission for the central intelligence agency. Codename: solid snake. Mission: retrieving metal gear.

6. Have you ever kissed someone?
I don’t have to. People tried to kiss me.

7. Have you ever watched the sunrise with someone?
Well... there was once on a PD trip where a friend of mine wanted to watch the sunrise so a bunch of them went out to watch the sunrise while I'm back sleeping at the house. But what they didn't realize was, the sun rises from the east and not from the west and PD is facing the west. So it was funny when they got back and I asked them how was the sight.

8. Have you ever flipped someone off?
Yeah, and it was fun. Like flipping burger on a hot pan. Hehe.

9. Have you ever written a poem?
You wanna hear some? Me wrote pretty amazing poems back in school. Poems with attitude I call them.

10. Have you ever lost a friend?
Yeah... but they are still alive

11. Have you ever been dumped?
I only know if they have got good taste or not. That's all

12. Have you ever made out in a movie theater?
No, but I would love to. Any takers?

13. Have you ever driven out of state (you had to be the one driving)?
Does imagining it counts? I’ve driven to many states in GTA and NFS.

14. Have you ever stayed up all night?
How about staying up for straight 70 hours. Was actually going for 72 but falls short of it. Maybe next time.

15. Have you ever had braces?
Nope, but used to have a friend who's in braces and she's really beautiful. My second crush of all time. Still gives me the butterflies every time I think of her.

16. Have you ever slept all day?
Yeah... after staying up for 70 hours.

17. Have you ever walked in the rain?
How about swimming in the rain? Playing tennis in the rain? And playing tennis in the rain is FUN. Especially when you hit the ball and have all the water splattered. Pretty darn cool and I missed that. Me miss top-spinning a wet ball.

18. Have you ever received flowers just because?
Yeah, when I was a kid. Mommy said I'm a stud with the girls when I was a kid... hehe.

19. Have you ever been in a plane?
I have a plane... wanna see? Haha. No.

20. Have you ever had dejavu?
Many times. But never devaju on the lottery numbers. Sigh.

21. Have you ever been on TV?
Yeah... when I was a kid. In the news. And another time when I was standing on top of the TV (you said "on TV")

22. Have you ever lied to a bf/gf?
It's not consider a lie until the other person finds out about it. So, the answer is No ;)

23. Have you ever cheated on your bf/gf?
See above.

24. Have you ever fallen asleep outside?
Does blacking out on a moving escalator counts? Busted my cheek and nearly got my eyes. And I once fall asleep inside a studio where a jam was in session. Pretty impressive huh?

25. Have you ever changed yourself for someone else?
I changed alright, thanks to someone. And I've said this again and again. Me really owe this person big time.

26. Have you ever started a rumor?
I am gay!!! Anyone wanna straighten me up?

27. Have you ever wished you could redo yesterday?
Reality dictates that you can never redo yesterday, so this is a stupid question. Why even contemplate on something that's impossible?

28. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
How many times do I have to say this? Do I look like a sissy? And regardless of what you would say, I am not a sissy and neither do I look like one!

29. Have you ever promised to do something and haven't?
A promise made was a necessity of the past. A promise broken is a necessity of the present - Nicolo Machiavelli

She said "I can't take this place, I'm leaving it behind"
She said "I can't take this town, I'm leaving you tonight"

[.....] [just drag into winamp and it'll play or rename if you must]

The Ugly Truth About Beauty by Dave Barry

First published in the Miami Herald in 1998

If you're a man, at some point a woman will ask you how she looks.

"How do I look?" she'll ask.

You must be careful how you answer this question. The best technique is to form an honest yet sensitive opinion, then collapse on the floor with some kind of fatal seizure. Trust me, this is the easiest way out. Because you will never come up with the right answer.

The problem is that women generally do not think of their looks in the same way that men do. Most men form an opinion of how they look in the seventh grade, and they stick to it for the rest of their lives. Some men form the opinion that they are irresistible stud muffins, and they do not change this opinion even when their faces sag and their noses bloat to the size of eggplants and their eyebrows grow together to form what appears to be a giant forehead-dwelling tropical caterpillar.

Most men, I believe, think of themselves as average-looking. Men will think this even if their faces cause heart failure in cattle at a range of 300 yards. Being average does not bother them; average is fine for men. This is why men never ask anybody how they look. Their primary form of beauty care is to shave themselves, which is essentially the same form of beauty care that they give to their lawns. If, at the end of his four-minute daily beauty regimen, a man has managed to wipe most of the shaving cream out of his hair and is not bleeding too badly, he feels that he has done all he can, so he stops thinking about his appearance and devotes his mind to more critical issues, such as the Super Bowl.

Women do not look at themselves this way. If I had to express, in three words, what most women think about their appearance, those words would be: "not good enough." No matter how attractive a woman may appear to others, when she looks at herself in the mirror, she thinks: woof. She thinks that at any moment a municipal animal-control officer is going to throw a net over her and haul her off to the shelter.

Why do women have such low self-esteem? There are many complex psychological and societal reasons, by which I mean Barbie. Girls grow up playing with a doll proportioned such that, if it were human, it would be seven feet tall and weigh 81 pounds, of which 53 pounds would be bosoms. This is a difficult appearance standard to live up to, especially when you contrast it with the standard set for little boys by their dolls . . . excuse me, by their action figures. Most of the action figures that my son played with when he was little were hideous-looking. For example, he was fond of an action figure (part of the He-Man series) called "Buzz-Off," who was part human, part flying insect. Buzz-Off was not a looker. But he was extremely self-confident. You could not imagine Buzz-Off saying tot he other action figures: "Do you think these wings makes my hips look big?"

But women grown up thinking they need to look like Barbie, which for most women is impossible, although there is a multibillion-dollar beauty industry devoted to convincing women that they mush try. I once saw an Oprah show wherein supermodel Cindy Crawford dispensed makeup tips to the studio audience. Cindy had all these middle-aged women apply beauty products to their faces; she stressed how important it was to apply them in a certain way, using the tips of their fingers. All the women dutifully did this, even though it was obvious to any sane observer that, no matter how carefully they applied these products, they would never look remotely like Cindy Crawford, who is some kind of genetic mutation.

I'm not saying that men are superior. I'm just saying that you're not going to get a group of middle-aged men to sit in a room and apply cosmetics to themselves under the instruction of Brad Pitt, in hopes of looking more like him. Men would realize that this task was pointless and demeaning. They would find some way to bolster their self-esteem that did not require looking like Brad Pitt. They would say to Brad: "Oh YEAH? Well what do you know about LAWN CARE, pretty boy?"

Of course many women will argue that the reason they become obsessed with trying to look like Cindy Crawford is that men, being as shallow as a drop of spit, WANT women to look that way. To which I have two responses:

1. Hey, just because WE'RE idiots, that does not mean YOU have to be; and

2. Men don't even notice 97 percent of the beauty efforts you make anyway. Take fingernails. The average woman spends 5,000 hours per year worrying about her fingernails; I have never once, in more than 40 years of listening to men talk about women, heard a man say, "She has a nice set of fingernails!" Many men would not notice if a woman had upward of four hands.

Anyway, to get back to my original point: If you're a man, and a woman asks you how she looks, you're in big trouble. Obviously, you can't say she looks bad. But you also can't say that she looks great, because she'll think you're lying, because she has spent countless hours, with the help of the multibillion-dollar beauty industry, obsession about the differences between herself and Cindy Crawford. Also, she suspects that you're not qualified to judge anybody's appearance. This is because you have shaving cream in your hair.

Originally by The Clash. Robbie Williams did a cover on it once. A pretty fun song.

Darling you gotta let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
If you say that you are mine
I'll be here 'til the end of time
So you got to let know
Should I stay or should I go?

Always tease tease tease
You're happy when I'm on my knees
One day is fine, next is black
So if you want me off your back
Well come on and let me know
Should I Stay or should I go?

Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
An' if I stay it will be double
So come on and let me know

This indecision's bugging me
Esta indecision me molesta
If you don't want me, set me free
Si no me quieres, librame
Exactly who'm I'm supposed to be
Digame quien tengo ser
Don't you know which clothes even fit me?
Sabes que ropas me queda?
Come on and let me know
Me tienes que decir
Should I cool it or should I blow?
Me debo ir o quedarme?

Should I stay or should I go now?
"Me entra frio por los ojos" (y es verdad)
If I go there will be trouble
Si me voy va a haber peligro
And if I stay it will be double
Si me quedo va a ser doble
So you gotta let me know
Me tienes que decir
Should I stay or should I go?
"Me entra frio por los ojos"

Most of people are afraid when it comes to a word called 'Change'. To change their way of life after so many years is kind of hard for some people.. especially when they are already in the comfort zone. To some, uncertainties are often associated with change.. making it harder for people to change.

When I was in college, I had a subject call Business Process Reengineering. It’s about reengineering the business processes (obviously). One of the biggest obstacles for the reengineering process was the reluctance to change from the executives and employees.

The subject taught us that, in order for the whole reengineering process to work, you have to convince the employees/executives that the change is for the best. Some employees will object and refuse because the change may be good for the company in whole but it’s harmful to the welfare of the affected employees, namely the people who rejected the change in the first place.

Change is easy if you know where you’ll end up in the end but hard if you are not sure how it’s going to affect you. And if someone is happy with the way they already are, would they want to change? I doubt it. Unless you can guarantee that after the change they will be much happier, I don’t think anyone will take what others say seriously. People change when they are suffering; people change when they are miserable. But people do not change when they are happy or when they are content. Unless there is a reason to change and a reason worth changing, not many will take a chance on change. To some extent, changing away from what a person used to believe is an admission of mistake/wrong. In other words, for a person to change, he first has to acknowledge that he was wrong all along. But some (most?) people’s ego will not allow such admission as it would be seen as a sign of weakness (or at least that’s what they think). Until you can accept the fact that you have been doing the wrong things all along, it is impossible for you to change. Before you can fix your flaws, you have to own up to it first.

And the truth is, no one in the world can change anyone except for the person itself. You can tell a person how life can be better if s/he would just take a change but ultimately, it’s still the person’s decision whether s/he wants to change or not. No matter what you tell the person, in the end, it’s up to his own interpretation if such change is good or not. What you think is good for a person...; the person might not share the same thought as yours. All you can do is to voice your opinion, tell them what you think and leave it for them to decide whether they want to take your advice and do something with it.

As long as you are happy, do whatever you want. We learn as we grow, that’s the nature’s way of survival. They who doesn’t learn as they grow, then it’s their choice. Let them burn and hopefully, they’ll learn what’s best for them. We all learn the hard way.

Some people do not take advice. They have such big ego that they think they are better than everyone. They believe what they do is the right thing and everything else is wrong. People like this will only change after they have been burned. But those who keep on doing the same thing even after getting burned… well, they deserve it.

This is an excerpt from an episode of Lost.

Locke: "What do you suppose is in that cocoon, Charlie?"
Charlie: "I don't know, a-a butterfly, I guess?"
Locke: "No, it's much more beautiful than that. That's a moth cocoon. It's ironic butterflies get all the attention, but moths spin silk. They're stronger, they're faster"
Charlie: "That's wonderful, but"
Locke (pointing at the cocoon): You see this little hole? This moth's just about to emerge. It's in there right now, struggling; it's digging its way through the thick hide of the cocoon. Now, I could help it: take my knife, gently widen the opening, and the moth would be free. But it would be too weak to survive. Struggle is nature's way of strengthening it."

Sometimes, what may seem like an innocent sincere attempt to help a person might actually do more harm than good. There are times when we should help a person and there are times too when we should just stand back and watch them get-on on their own; even if it means seeing them making decisions that you know is a mistake. You don’t raise a child by wrapping him in cotton wools, you let him bounce around.

We all learn from scars. Tough love.